So, I’m 27, my girlfriend’s 27, and we’ve been together for about a year. I’m not originally from Canada (been here 8 years), and my English is generally good, but every now and then there’s that one word that completely screws me over.
Last weekend was the big moment: meeting her parents for the first time. I was nervous as hell. Like, sweaty palms, rehearsing polite small talk in my head, the whole thing. I really wanted to make a solid first impression.
Her parents were super lovely. classic, polite, small-town Canadian vibes. Her mom (let’s call her Susan) is one of those super efficient, no-nonsense women who’s just on it all the time. She had dinner totally under control pouring wine, barking (friendly) orders at her husband to grab the bread, making sure everything was perfect. She was hosting like a total pro.
We sat down, the food was amazing, and me—wanting to be charming and compliment her for being so organized—say, with my biggest smile:
“Susan, honestly, you are such a dominatrix in the kitchen. Everything’s amazing!”
The entire table went DEAD quiet.
Her dad literally paused mid-bite. My girlfriend’s eyes went huge. Susan just stared at me with this frozen smile like her brain had left her body for a second.
I’m sitting there, thinking I’d nailed the compliment, and after what felt like an hour of silence, my girlfriend kicked me under the table hard and muttered, “WHAT did you just say?”
I was confused as hell, like, “What? I’m saying she’s super in control like a boss.” My girlfriend’s face: absolute horror.
It wasn’t until later, when we were in the car driving home, that she explained what dominatrix actually means. I nearly crashed the car from how hard I was cringing. I had no idea I’d just called her mom a leather-wearing BDSM mistress in front of her whole family while eating chicken parmesan.
I haven’t stopped replaying the moment in my head ever since. Pretty sure her dad hasn’t either.
Safe to say, I won’t be living this down anytime soon.
TL;DR: Tried to compliment my girlfriend’s mom for being super in control in the kitchen. Accidentally called her a dominatrix over dinner. Kill me now.
Comments
Plot twist – everyone was silent because they were shocked OP somehow knew the truth.
What were you trying to call her?? 😂
Don’t beat yourself up over it, apparently your gf’s mom can do that for you 😉 Everyone will laugh about it after some time passes.
Domineering not dominatrix 😭😭😭
[deleted]
Eh? I don’t buy this. They’re a super nice family, you say. They know English isn’t your first language. Every there would have just immediately understood that you had obviously chosen the wrong word – and you would have immediately attempted to clarify as they immediately attempted to help you. Maybe a little bit of laughter. But stony silence because you so obviously (from the context) had the wrong word? I don’t think.
Update us!
If this is real, the family are idiots. When someone who is speaking a second language says something inappropriate and out of context, the natural reaction is not horror but a gentle laugh and/or asking what they meant.
“Bedroom” not “kitchen” but don’t worry, these things happen
I’m still trying to work out how else you should have decribe her mum.
I would have bursted out laughing
Seems like an AI post. Have trouble with english but simultaneously perfect, actually advanced, grammar somehow? As another user said. The aggressive use of “-” and “–” which almost no one uses unless they’re writing a novel, kinda gives it away.
Honestly, if my daughter brought someone home and this situation happened, we would probably end up laughing about it after the initial shock. I could see it being a running joke over time. If they were otherwise nice and friendly, my guess is they know English is your 2nd language and are probably laughing about it.
Haven’t I read this one before?
So she was just whipping up a meal in the kitchen right? I bet that food slapped!
Double down, call her Mistress next time you see her
Chat – GPT
What were you trying to say OP??? what word were you looking for that wouldn’t gag you like this??
So DAD has a few whisk marks on his ass