My partner and I have been together for over 3 years. We broke up for a short while, both dated other people for a few months in between and we recently got back together. Her side of things with her ex have been pretty tough. They are no longer in contact, I won’t explain any further but the whole situation has been pretty traumatic for her. This is where I fucked up. A bit after we got back together, I decided it was time for a new tattoo (I get a new one every so often when I can afford it). So, I got a skull on my calf. The idea was on a bit of a whim as it was from a flash sheet that my artist friend had, but I loved the way it looked, so I got it. I showed my gf and she said it looked great, she loved it, etc. Fast forward; Every once in a while curiosity gets the best of me and I occasionally stalk said ex’s social media. She was horrible to her, I love this woman so much and I feel angry for what happened to her, and I guess lurking her ex’s social media fuels the fire. I know, it’s not healthy. Anyway, one of the pictures showed part of ex’s calf that was tattooed. Guess what. It’s an effing skull. In the exact same spot, same size, just different shading. This was a horrible coincidence and I know that my gf didn’t have the heart to tell me that I have matching tattoos with her ex that has been actively trying to ruin her life for the past few months. I know that whenever she looks at it she has to think of her again and I feel awful. Should I tell my gf that I know and offer to get it covered up? Or just tell her I know so that he can share her feelings about it? Or just let it go?
TL;DR: I found out through social media that my gf’s recent ex has the same tattoo that I got recently. Should I tell her I know and offer to have it covered?
Comments
Just add some extra details that makes it different. Flowers, butterflies, blood, some Mexican day of the dead colours. There’s a lot you could do with a skull. Don’t tell her anything though, and stop snooping!
Just tell her gently, own the bad luck, and say you’ll cover it if it ever bothers her simple as that. It’s a tattoo, not a life sentence. Intent matters, and yours came from love, not the past.
Unless there was some sort of reaction you keep your mouth shut.
You didn’t say she jerked back and looked uncomfortable.
Has she started acting differently with you? Distant, withdrawn, more people pleasing?
It could be she’s grown enough to realize a tattoo is a tattoo and skulls are a dime a dozen.
Telling her you’re stalking her ex’s Social Media and actively trying not to be anything like the ex may backfire.
If someone told me that I would low key feel manipulated. Because that’s not genuine. You wanted that tattoo because you are your own person. With your own thoughts and actions.
but do you have no regrats?
It surprises me that people make such rash decisions about tattoos. OP saw artwork that looked cool at that moment and decided to permanently place it on their body. It’s something I’ll never understand
This sounds like it bothers you more than it bothers her
if it were me, i’d want you to tell me. not in a dramatic way, just a soft “hey… i realized something and i’m sorry if it’s been hard to see.” even the offer to cover it says a lot. it’s not about the ink—it’s about showing her you see her