TIFU by commiting backyard blasphemy

This happened just yesterday and I’m still reeling from it.

I (26M) and my wife (23F) have been hanging out at my friend’s mom’s house, we live in the south and its fucking hot, utilizing her swimming pool. Been going over every day after we get off work, cleaning it, relaxing, drinking and listening to music. We’ve been doing this for about a week now, and I’ve known my friend and his mom for God only knows how long now, so she lets us come over when no one is home, check on the dogs and such, and usually she’s never home. Well, yesterday we get over there and we start drinking, vacuuming the pool and finally get to the good part which is swimming.

Unfortunately for me, when I drink, I like to drink a bit too fast, so I ended up taking about 5 shots of 100 proof vodka in about an hour, which was a mistake. Not because it made me sick, but because it makes me stupid.

So, friends mom comes home, she says hey and that she’s about to leave and I missed the part where she said she’d be back. She usually goes to her boyfriend’s house. I guess in my tipsy haze, I disregarded the last part. Well, what a fuck up that turned out to be.

Just got recently married (woo!) and we don’t get a lot of alone time, so I suggested we have a bit of adult fun, aka have sex in the backyard. The house is situated in the woods, and she has a beautiful clearing of what’s gotta be about 4 acres or so and no neighbors around to see anything so, wonderful idea, right?

We get out the pool, get undressed, start doing the deed and a handful of minutes pass and all of a sudden we hear a car door shut. Sadly, I put our swim suits on a pool float because idk, just dumb and we weren’t anywhere near our towels and there wasn’t enough time to run and grab anything. So, just the two of us butt ass naked in her backyard and she comes waltzing around the fence and looks up and we’re caught like some deers in headlights. Pure and utter horror. I rush to grab my pants and a towel for my wife and my buddy’s mom runs in the house, mortified and rightfully pissed.

I get dressed, my wife runs to our car and I attempt to apologize but my friends mom doesn’t wanna hear it. I am at a loss for words I just kept saying I was sorry. Then she asked if she had to drain her pool because she thought we might have been having too much fun in the pool and I tell her no, and she’s like just go. Just leave, don’t talk you’ll just make it worse.

Called my friend and told him what happened and apologized, as well as his brother who I’m also friends with. They both laughed at me and said I was a dumbass for getting caught lol. As for the mom, I’m going to give it a few days and try and smooth things over with her.

The amount of shame and embarrassment I have been dealing with these last 24 hours is immense.

TL;DR: got caught having sex with my wife in my best friend’s mom’s backyard, completely butt naked.