So I (M26) work in a relatively small office, and one of my coworkers “J” (F30ish) recently came back after a long break. I hadn’t seen her in over 3 months, and when she returned last week, she looked… different. Specifically, she had a bit of a baby bump. Or so I thought.
We were in the breakroom and chatting, catching up. I thought I’d be sweet and say something like, “Congrats by the way!” with a smile. She looked confused. I panicked and said, “You know, the baby!” and did the universal round-belly gesture.
She just stared. Deadpan. Then said: “I’m not pregnant. I just gained weight.”
I wanted to dissolve into a puddle on the floor. I immediately apologized profusely and tried to walk it back, but there was no saving it. She’s been polite since then, but I’ve basically become invisible to her. My coworkers know (because gossip is faster than email), and now everyone calls me “Baby Whisperer” behind my back.
TL;DR: Thought my coworker was pregnant, congratulated her. She’s not. I may never recover socially.
Comments
Even if you are standing there watching the head pop out of the birth canal, a guy can never acknowledge a woman is/was pregnant unless she very clearly brings it up first.
A woman could be giving birth and I still wouldn’t mention it.
the only solution is for you to grow a belly bump
Never offer congratulations on a pregnancy unless someone tells you they are pregnant. I had this happen to me in the cafe where I work. It was absolutely mortifying, and so many people overheard. Not much you can do now, but she won’t forget that comment.
Saw this happen in a Lloyds bank once in a large queue between two ladies, it still haunts me to this day how both parties must have felt
Did this one time in an elevator. Never, ever again. I’ve since been told by someone else someone was pregnant. Didn’t acknowledge it until I heard it from the person, lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/zsoug/when_it_is_ok_to_ask_a_women_if_she_is_pregnant/
Oh man
NEVER assume pregnancy. I’ve seen it happen, goes badly.
Lesson learned, though.
I have a weird sense of smell & learned to never remark “It smells like someone is on their period.” Learn THAT lesson from me.
PS: Iron is a component of that one
Dude….this is like, TEXTBOOK etiquette rule right here
Never walk back, always Matthew Mcconaughey is:
“Be a lot cooler if you were.”
Double down with confidence.
I only assume a woman is pregnant if I actually see a baby coming out of her. So, unless specifically told…I never do.
I wouldn’t ask my wife if she was pregnant and I knew it was true…..
“The uterus is vacant until proven occupied by declaration of the uteree.”
– Thomas Jefferson
Oh wait, THIS is AI, right?! No one could possibly still be this dense in 2025?
One of my co-workers put on thirty pounds and I thought she was pregnant for the longest time BUT she just gained weight. She eventually lost the weight.
I will add weight to the things not to discuss at work. Never discuss politics, religion, sex or weight.
Never, ever, ever mention or assume someone is pregnant unless they specifically tell you they are pregnant. I don’t care if they look like they could deliver tomorrow. I know a women you have had endometriosis, tumors, or cysts that made them appear as though they were 6 months pregnant. And in the case of a dear friend with endometriosis, there is nothing she would have wanted more than being pregnant, but because of the endo, it was unlikely to ever happen. So when people assumed she was pregnant, it just twisted the knife.
All these people are wrong. You did the Chad move by calling her fat without calling her fat. Maybe she will stop stuffing her face and take better care of her body. You probably saved her life btw, now she won’t die of diabetes.
I met this lady when I was picking up my puppy probably 25 years ago and she started making comments about how great the puppy would be “with the little one.” I really wasn’t paying attention because I was obsessed with my little potato of a puppy but my friend kept shaking her head and saying no. The woman didn’t take the hint though. She finally said something that caught my attention and I looked all confused at my friend who then goes “she thinks you’re pregnant.” I was immediately like nope, no way. The lady continued though. Insisted I was despite me saying that I most definitely was not. Even asked about my due date. Finally I looked up at her and said “Ma’am I am not pregnant, I’m just really fat!” Her response was “Well how was I supposed to know that!” Well geez lady, because we’ve been telling you I’m not.
Man, I learned not to say anything about a woman being pregnant until they tell you when I was a junior in high school. I had a very thin Latin teacher, who came back from summer break sporting a bump. It wasn’t big. She was probably like 4-5 months, but because she was thin, it protruded. I noticed and blurted out “OMG ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?”
She looked at me, completely deadpan, no emotion, and said “Why <jacknifetoaswan>? Do I look pregnant???”
Yeah. I died. At least twice. She was an awesome teacher, but she didn’t come back after the baby was born. We ended up with this 80 year old man that did nothing but rote memorization. But don’t do what I did.
That is why I ask a female coworker of theirs first.
Unless I am at their freaking baby shower I will never assume that ever again.
The one time I thought I was safe, was roving tech for a school system and was friendly with a lot of teachers but not there day to day. I knew one was pregnant with twins for sure. Happened to see her in a copy room and asked her again when she was due. “I had them 6 months ago, I’m just fat now” was the response I got and I wanted to pull the copier I was working on onto my face and taste sweet sweet death in that moment.
Apologized profusely and all was ok but that was 20 years ago and I still feel horrid about it.
I hope you learned your lesson.
I watched a co-worker do this, but the girl recently had a baby like a month beforehand…… And she very, very calmly went off on him and then went to the bathroom and cried.
Please don’t comment on people’s bodies.
Lesson learned my friend. Never ever assume a pregnancy.. The only acceptable time to talk to a woman about their pregnancy is the SAME CONVERSATION as when they have brought it up.
If they never bring it up again, you never bring it up again. Learned this the hard way. Ask one woman how they’re enjoying being pregnant after they’ve had a miscarriage and you’ll never forget it.
Or just do what the other funny folks are suggesting and never ever ever talk about it
I have been assumed pregnant and assumed not both suck
Schoolboy error OP.
Never comment on anyone else’s body – and especially NEVER mention a suspected pregnancy until it is officially announced. Big oof.
You never ask/comment on a woman’s pregnancy until you see the baby coming out.
And even then you probably shouldn’t.
How are you 26 and you don’t know already to never assume a woman is pregnant unless she says it to your face?
Such a rookie error. You should’ve been taught this as a kid. NEVER assume a woman is pregnant.
I also have stuck my foot in my mouth years ago making the same comment. Never again I don’t care if she is skinny as a bean pole and is 9 1/2 months along I need to go say a word.
Never make a comment on someone’s body.
I had this happen to me once by a former coworker. I haven’t seen him since, but I remember his name, where we were standing, exactly what he looked like….and this was almost 30 years ago.
Please, never do this again.
A woman could be nine months pregnant and be actively shopping for baby clothes in a store and I still wouldn’t say anything.
Definitely a f-up.
You are 26 years old and no one has EVER told you that this is a bad idea?!?!? You even made a faux baby bump “gesture”? Bro – this is the definition of cringe. For future reference: you never comment on someone’s body/appearance unless it is a harmless compliment like – “I love your outfit, you look amazing!” You never, EVER, comment on changes in weight or anything that could potentially be related to their weight (unless you are their doctor and that’s your actual job).
Uhhh yeah an older woman coworker asked me when I was due once because I guess the dress I had on was reading “maternity” to her and I went from adoring her to dreading the very sight of her so yeah let this be a learning experience
i’ve always had issues with bloating, even when i was a teenager and was mad underweight. when i was 15, a stranger came up to me to ask when i was due. it’s been over 10 years and it still severely impacts the way i see myself and my body. this shit does damage.
I wouldn’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant even if there was a baby hanging out of her vagina, because I don’t know if that baby didn’t get a good running start and got stuck somehow.
So… This is what I do, as I’ve seen shit like this happen in person and it’s never fun for anyone concerned.
No one is ever pregnant, ever… It isn’t a thing that can occur – unless the person is pregnant, says so, in their own words; when they do, just don’t comment on body changes AT ALL, it is never a good idea – pregnant or not, no one wants to hear the equivilant of “well shit, you look kinda fat, but it’s OK because it’s another human inside you”
Tl;dr: no one is pregnant, ever.
I had a boss, who I knew was pregnant. You could absolutely tell. Other people told me she told them. I saw sonogram pictures. I said absolutely nothing until she herself told me to my face that she was pregnant.
Never ever ever say a word unless they explicitly say it to you.
Best practice – don’t comment on female coworker’s bodies. There is almost nothing good that can come of it.
This happened to a friend of mine on a playground. Some kid said she was preggers and she said I’m not pregnant….that’s just cookies. Haha! I love her 😊
I did this same thing to an administrator at a job site I was on. She was walking around in a tube dress and resting her hands on her belly. Basically behaving like a pregnant woman who was proud of her bump. I was dead ass wrong. The second-in-charge witnessed this social gaffe debacle and after the admin left, burst out laughing and thanked me. I was never so embarrassed and never, never have repeated this blunder.
Would rather make a pregnant woman stand than a fat girl cry
Never, unless you actually see a baby emerging from the birth canal, mention a woman’s pregnancy to her.
You don’t comment on if a woman is pregnant or not even if she’s got a huge bump and is standing amongst ballons and decorations for a baby shower. Nope nope nope.
Yeah. You never open your mouth unless they verbally tell you that you are pregnant. About 3 of my customers have congratulated me on pregnancy. I’ve looked each one dead in the face and said “I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. Thanks.” And they felt stupid and deservedly so.
Ouch. It might take weeks for that one to fade out.
Any chance the company is likely to hire goofy interns in the near future, to make your thing old news?
Honestly never say anything, especially congratulations, on a pregnancy until the person confirms they’re pregnant and that it’s a good thing. Same with the birth, let the woman talk first because for all you know she could have had a still birth and been grieving
I wouldn’t say congrats about a pregnancy to a co worker if they were literally giving birth on the floor. Don’t go there, don’t talk about it. The only time it’s acceptable to offer congrats is if they expressly tell you they are pregnant and then you can say congrats.
AI crap
https://preview.redd.it/1jo6k4d3o38f1.jpeg?width=207&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6dcb85085fe0718ef87bc07d9aa627779be1ba2
this is your guide for future references.
Unless a woman expressly tells me herself that she is, in fact, pregnant…no, she’s not.
You learned it the hard way but even if a woman is crowning at that moment-if she doesn’t mention the pregnancy neither do you.
I’m sure this lesson is going to stick for a lifetime lol.
What I’m really going to find hilarious is if she IS pregnant and didn’t feel like sharing yet and was fucking with you. You still never comment-loss is really common for example and people don’t always want to broadcast it to everyone, but after 4 losses my son decided to stick.
Early on when I sort of had a bump but we hadn’t told anymore yet until we got the all clear, (possible important parts couldn’t be located on my son until 16-17 weeks, he’s perfect in the end :), I did do that to a friend. They joked about my belly and I just quipped, “yeah I’m getting fat”.
The look on their face…. And the look on their face a month later when we announced hahahaha. Like “you bitch!”
But yeah. Unless you hear it from the uterus owners own mouth, no she isn’t pregnant lol.
Bruh
Bruh rookie mistake
I gave birth to five children and my belly just won’t go away. It’s ussially older women who congratulate me, and let me tell you ive cried so many times over strangers making comments about my body. You need to get her an edible arrangement and a card saying that you’re sorry for being an asshat. And never, ever do it again.
This is why you don’t comment on women’s bodies 🙂
Sincerely, pregnant lady who does not want to hear any comments at all from people i dont know well
I was in my teens and working in transport at a hospital. I was transporting a young woman with severe ascites to an inpatient room. She was skinny, and her belly looked 8 months pregnant. Her belly button was popped out, she was so round only in her stomach. I didn’t know about ascites at the time. For all i know now, she could have had liver cancer.
I congratulated her after i dropped her off. She rightfully snapped at me that she wasn’t pregnant and looked upset afterwards. I felt so bad.
It’s not a joke when I say someone could be 40 weeks pregnant and i won’t comment on it unless they mention it first. Actually, just last week i met a woman who was 34 weeks pregnant. I know that bc someone else congratulated her, and then she disclosed. And THEN i congratulated her.
Same thing with weight loss btw. You never know why someone is losing weight. They could be going through something medically that’s led to poor intake, like cancer, serious GI problems, stress. Unless i know someone has been open about working out more or eating healthier, and they bring it up, i will not comment on their body.
If someone has something in their teeth though, i’ll tell them every time.
Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Even if she’s going into labor.
Are you just recently introduced to society? It’s universal to never make that comment unless outright told
Lol what a moron you really screwed up, hopefully HR will be calling you soon! You better get some sort of sensibility training cause that one is TEXTBOOK
Unless you can see the child emerging from their body, don’t bring up pregnancy unless THEY do.
It’s ok, I’ve given up my seat for a “pregnant woman”.
And now you’ve learned the most valuable lesson in your life!
Do not congratulate a woman on a pregnancy unless she tells you or you can see the head crowning
OP be like “Chat: Generate a story that will get upvotes on r/tifu”
Not sure how you made it to 26 without learning this lesson, but it’s usually one that sticks the very first time so you should be good from here on out.
You learned the lesson the hard way. Now you know. You might not ever recover with this coworker, but you won’t make the same mistake again. I would say best you could try is to maybe send flowers with a card that says something like, “I want to clearly apologize again, outside of the moment. I can’t take back what I said, or the harm it may have caused. I have no excuse. What I can do is promise that I’ve learned from this and I won’t comment on women’s bodies like that again. I’m so sorry that lesson was learned at your expense. I don’t send this with any expectation of you. Just want you to know I am committed to do better.” And then leave it at that. Let any non work related interaction be on her terms. Don’t even expect her to mention the card. Literally no expectation of her.
Also, funny story. I’m a mom of three and usually pretty good at recognizing pregnancy from more than just a tummy or weight gain. A type of roundness to the face that’s hormonal vs weight, the way the walk changes because of looser ligaments, etc. I still never say anything. BUT, I noticed the wife of the young couple across the street had gained weight and thought she was pregnant. I said hi and chatted with her next time we were both coming home at the same time, and this time I was sure she was pregnant, but she didn’t bring it up so I didn’t say anything.
Four months later they came home with an infant in a car seat. Turns out they didn’t even realize she was pregnant until she was 7 months along! She just thought she was gaining weight from work stress! I suspected it a few months before she did. But I still wouldn’t have said anything! They had a healthy, precious little baby, and now have a second one too.
Never, never, NEVER be the first person to mention pregnancy!
Even if a woman had a shirt on that had an arrow pointing toward her stomach and it said “BABY”, I wouldn’t comment on it.
A wise man once said, don’t congratulate a woman on her pregnancy unless you can see an actual baby coming out of her.
I carry my weight in my stomach. The first few times someone assumed I was pregnant, I was nice about it but it got old quickly. I decided that it was their problem, not mine. My usual response was “I’m not pregnant, I’m fat”. I then enjoyed watching them squirm.