So this happened about a week ago and I still want to curl up and disappear every time I think about it.
We were in the middle of our Monday morning team meeting, everyone’s half-dead, sipping coffee, cameras off, same vibe as usual. My boss, (let’s call her Sophia), had just returned from a two week vacation and she pops into the call with her camera on, glowing, happy, relaxed… and wearing a loose floral dress.
We’re chatting casually before the meeting starts, and I (in what I thought was a moment of charming friendliness) say:
“Sarah, you look amazing! Congratulations, by the way!”
She looks very confused, the whole room goes silent and she replies “Congrats?”
And that’s when it hits me. I had assumed she was expecting. I didn’t say “congrats on the break.” I didn’t say “welcome back.” I had basically offered my congratulations on something that… wasn’t real.
She blinks a few times and said “there’s nothing to congratulate me for.””
Cue the longest pause in human history 💀
I try to backpedal. “Oh! Sorry, I meant congrats on the vacation! You look happy”
But it was too late. The damage is done. The team is dead silent, some people probably turning their cameras off just to laugh in peace. Her face does that polite, corporate smile thing, and she moves on with the meeting like a pro. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there with my soul leaving my body.
To top it all off, I got a message from HR that afternoon, gently asking if I’d like to review the company’s communication guidelines.
TL;DR: So yeah. I unintentionally commented on my boss’s body in front of the entire team. Lesson learned: never assume. About anything. Ever.