I am sitting in the optometrist chair, opposite to them. It’s been a year or so and all I want is to get an updated prescription.
Everything is going just fine, they are about to dilate my eyes.
Then the question comes, while their face is a mere foot away and they are looking deep into my eyes.
“Are you lactating?”
Silence for a moment to process that.
“Um, no.”
Silence.
Now I’ve never been asked that in my 21 years of life – and I’m about to collapse dead from the effort it is taking to not laugh, but he is a foot away from my face and still very intently staring into my eyes.
I summoned every shred of energy to keep a straight face, but I could feel my face slipping.
He replies while looking me straight in the eyes, again a FOOT away from my face.
“Good.”
The silence stretched out but inside my soul is now battling every single natural impulse to burst out in laughter. Good? GOOD??
At this point he can see it on my face, and promptly misreads my inner tension.
“I didn’t mean good like- that you’re not lactating. Just- good to know.”
PAINFULLY long empty silence.
I felt myself tearing up from my stifled laughter, but managed to just nod and swallow it down.
Anyway he was very nice the rest of the time and I’m pretty sure I inadvertently made him think he made me cry by saying something insensitive, but I was actually trying not to die in the chair.
The entire car ride home I lost it thinking about the situation, but I feel so bad for the guy!
After asking my mom and aunt both of them said they have never been asked that before getting while their eyes checked and that they would have laughed.
Apparently it can have an impact on your eyes but he never told me that!
TL;DR: I started crying because I was trying not to laugh at my optometrist.
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Poor sod 😂
Still, no harm in if he got a bit awkward about it, and learned how to handle it more delicately.
My husband’s optometrist asked if our son was conceived with IVF. He has no idea why he would ask this? He didn’t know if he should be offended or ??? I’m wondering if this is the same guy and his whole deal is randomly awkward highly personal unrelated questions.
That’s hilarious. He probably should have explained instead of staring deeply into your eyes in awkward silence.
A) optometrists are doctors, they’re so smart they passed organic chemistry.
B) therefore they’re nerds.
C) nerds go off the reservation sometimes.
Ask them about their residency. They might have very interesting tales.
You’re not suppose to dilate a patient pregnant or nursing unless necessary. Usually we ask women ages 20-30+. I never say lactating though.
Edit: The drops have a very very very very tiny chance of even affecting your baby. The ophthalmologists are probably laughing and dilating in the next room. I’m not a risk taker so I tend to wait till next year. But please dilate your eyes!
Just an FYI on why he likely asked: https://www.aoa.org/news/clinical-eye-care/health-and-wellness/some-ophthalmic-drugs-inadvisable-for-breastfeeding-patients
It was just a romantic moment. Savor it.
I took my cat to the vet once and was chatting with the veterinarian. We were talking about the weekend. He said he turned on a movie in the living room for his kids and then he and his wife “went into the bedroom and watched an adult movie.” Then the implication hit him. He turned BRIGHT red and started saying “No, no, no that’s not what I meant!” I laughed SO hard. I had to hold in my giggles during the rest of the visit.
this went different than my experience of actually crying to my blood work technician when she called me about my INR.
it was quite high and that just broke me. it was my birthday, the two year anniversary of my emergency, and i wasn’t eating very well.
i was on the phone and she told me the number and i just burst in to big sobbing tears. i am a 44yo guy. she was immediately concerned, as one would expect, and started asking if i had friends and family in my life, if i had a home, if i had food security… all the things you ask people in the bad place.
i had to assure her that i am very fortunate to have all those things and that it was just very overwhelming and that i really appreciate our team and all that…
0/10… do not recommend.
I dreaded where this story was going, so I’m glad this was a funny moment for you, and I hope he learned from this. To the wrong person, this could have been a stunningly insensitive thing to say.
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50+ woman and in all my yearly visits, never been asked that at the eye dr.
Tangentially op, you should maybe get out and talk to other people more, that deep staring into your eyes thing shouldn’t have felt so surreal.
So much better than that time I was sobbing at the retina doctor office because I was terrified I was losing my sight.
I would have definitely followed up his question with my answer and a “why do you ask?”.
This reminded me of my most embarassing moment as a waiter. I prided myself on trying to give great service as well as upselling things like desserts or extra drinks.
Had a couple finish their meal and convinced I knew all about them, when they politely turned down dessert, my idiot response was, “C’mon now, you’re eating for two”.
I’m sure you see where this is going. She wasn’t pregnant. I honestly don’t know what I said to her. All I remember doing is going to my manager and telling her she had to take my table cause I couldn’t go back and face her.
Pretty sure I didn’t get a tip from the couple. Thankfully I had a chill manager who just laughed and tormented me endlessly afterwards.
To this day, I will not bring up anything about someone being pregnant even if it’s beyond obvious unless they bring it up first. I felt so bad and embarrassed for that woman and I can only imagine the conversation her and her man had afterwards. Sure I was called a few choice names as well. 😂
If she’s reading this, I’m still sorry.
Before I dilate, I ask patients if they are pregnant or breastfeeding, but never lactating
Lmaoooo this is gold
I’m amazed you were able to keep eye contact! I would have immediately looked down at my chest to check, just in case somehow it had randomly started happening.
Just curious. But did the optometrist mention anything about a pituitary adenoma? Often an be diagnosed by optometrist as it increases the hormone prolactin (responsible for lactation). The eyes become affected because the pituitary is right next to the visual nerves. Just a thought
While I can understand there may be a reason behind that question, it is creepy and would make me so uncomfortable. Had he explained that I would understand but I have never been asked that and I still think it is icky to say it that way.
Next year when you go in for your appointment I want you to gaze lovingly into his eyes and say, in the sultriest possible voice, “Doctor, are you lactating?”
for future reference you might want to change to an optometrist that has the machine that gives the same information without needing to dilate your eyes. and also did you go with someone because they’re not supposed to let you drive if they put the drops in your eyes*
* Apparently some optometrists will send you home with your eyes dilated. But for me, I know I cannot see well enough to drive. My husband, who rarely gets headaches, gets an incapacitating migraine. We generally avoid the drops. I HATE THE DROPS!
what! i got my eyes dilated recently and I was lactating and no one asked me??? I hope it didn’t hurt my kid.
Before I finished the story, I thought he was trying to tell you that you were leaking through your shirt lol. But then the rest of the story got even weirder! Who asks that way? How about are you pregnant or breastfeeding? Plus don’t they already ask that on the patient history form?
Ok but my fiance’s optometrist actually asked her that before. I’m not good with medical terminology but long story short it turned out he could see that something was wrong with her eyes in a way that specifically meant something was pushing on her optic nerve. And given the area of the brain there he thought it was a possible growth on the pituitary. Well – he was right and she was lactating as we later found out because of that very growth. I doubt thats what your optometrist meant though because her’s told her to go to the docs asap