TIFU: by drinking leftovers from yesterday

So this happened in the haste of this morning.
I only understood and remembered what I had done to myself, after talking to my colleague about it.
Sorry in advance, English is not my first language.

It’s been a long weekend, and I’ve spent most of it playing video games and being sick.
The kind of sick that makes a man whine and my nose and throat to go full tsunami with liquids of different variations of chunkyness.
I don’t have to go in too graphic on the liquids, I guess you’ve all been there and can feel the texture in you’re mouth right about now.

Yesterday I was one with the couch most of the day. Laying there, switching between the PlayStation and some episode from cops.
I get the all so familiar need to cough.
The power takes form in my stomach and from there travel up my belly and through my throat. What crawls out of the dark depths must have seen some things.
It almost had a heartbeat.
I need to let this bird free, I think to myself and look around for a suitable place to spit it out. In front of me on the table is my coffee mug.
I’m too lazy to get up from the sofa and I can reach it. Superduper convenient.

This morning I was in a bit of a rush, but as autistic as I am in need to go through with my morning routine. Drink coffee and shit.

I swosh up the closest mug and rush to the coffee. Then the technology of the kitchen makes me coffee.
I can then have 5 to 10 min of morning bliss, before my little tummy starts making noises.

Halfway through the SO necessary routine I feel a weird oily feeling in my mouth.
It freaks me out a bit cause a couple of weeks back I drank old milk in my coffee and that shit was terrible.

I look in the mug and of course. It dawns on me. It’s the f*cking spit mug.
Down there on the inside the mug floats what is left of that ol chunk of me, that had dried overnight and turned into illegally good glue.
I gag in a way I’ve never gagged before. But I’m in a hurry. Next step on the routine is shitting.

I stumbled in to the bathroom with red and watery eyes. As I’m polluting freshwater I try to hold one opening of me open for business, and the other closed for the day. I’m struggling.
I end up late for work aswell…

TL;DR: Today i learned to do my dishes more often and GET UP AND SPIT IN THE TOILET LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.