So this happened yesterday and I’m still recovering.
I got home from work absolutely starving because I skipped lunch trying to impress my boss (mistake #1). I walked into the kitchen and there, in all their chocolatey glory, was a tray of perfect brownies on the counter. No note. No warning. Just temptation.
I texted my roommate asking if I could have one. No response. I waited about 30 seconds (mistake #2). Obviously, that was enough time to justify eating three of them because YOLO (mistake #3).
About an hour later I was halfway through an episode of The Office when it hit me like a freight train. My legs felt like jelly. The walls were breathing. I was pretty sure I could hear Dwight Schrute giving me life advice.
Then my roommate came home. He saw the empty brownie pan and just stared at me like I’d kicked his puppy. He asked, “Bro… you didn’t eat those, did you?”
At this point I was basically a plant. I tried to say “yes” but I’m pretty sure it came out as “bleh.”
He just sighed and said, “Dude. Those were for my camping trip this weekend. Each one was like… super strong. You ate THREE?”
Anyway, the next six hours of my life are missing. Apparently, I kept telling my roommate I was a “cosmic pancake” and tried to order a pizza by talking into the TV remote.
I woke up this morning on the living room floor under a blanket made of my own laundry. My roommate left me a bottle of water and a sticky note that just said: “Next time, ask.”
TL;DR: Came home hungry, ate my roommate’s edibles, traveled to another dimension, woke up questioning my life choices.
Comments
What in the world was in those brownies?
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edibles are strong
If you time traveled, how can you be certain for one that it happened yesterday
Bro really time traveled to the moment he realized those weren’t just brownies and now owes his roommate an entire new batch plus emotional damages.
Lmao, those cosmic brownies took you on a wild ride!
If you ended up in another dimension… did you at least get a better version of yourself or just a worse one?
Edibles rulez
do they not taste like weed, though ?
Sounds like ai
“Next time, ask”
But you did!! 😭
My first time I ended up doing some dimensional traveling and I was fighting so hard to get back to my reality lmao. One I almost woke up from a coma, then another where I had to save my ride home from a car accident. I was fighting for my life, and my friend’s for several hours it was hilarious lmao
Roomie has something against Post-It notes.
If this was on AITAH, you’d be TA. You’re a terrible roommate and I genuinely hope you paid them back so they could go get more stuff for their trip. Who raised you?
Well, it’s not like you didn’t ask.
lesson learned; NEVER eat ANYTHING unless you know where it came from/what it is..
Did you use AI to write this?
Dude…you just took someone else’ shit and emptied the tray?
Yeah, you fucked up. But you’re also a shit roommate.
Man what the fuck. Are human beings not raised with self control anymore? The amount of confessions I see on here involving people eating other people’s shit with reckless abandon is fucking embarrassing. Your roommate is a fucking saint for not ripping you a new asshole wide open.
I did this once before as well, but it was as I was headed into work at 4:30AM. Worst fucking day of life my lol