Reddit,
I want to let you guys know that I have a really bad anxiety problem. Like I visibly shake and get agitated around people when I get overwhelmed. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything, but my parents say ive always been like this. Anyway
Two days ago I turned 18. I was surprised that I was invited out by my two friends, who we can call Cleo and Ken. They texted me and asked if they could take me out for my birthday and I was like, of course?! I don’t go out to eat much and this is uncommon for us, we usually go to hang out at a park or were urbexing.
The drive was really nice too. They picked me up from my house because I don’t drive. The roads scare me. Anyway, we decide to go out for old country buffet. A place I enjoy alot! My parents take me here every year for my birthday so it was a nice continuation of tradition.
Approaching the hostess. I began getting a little figety because there were a lot of people here. I seen a Cleo side eye dirty look so I tried to calm it down.
“Oh and we’re paying separately.” I hear Cleo say after paying for her entrance. Those words caused small anxiety strikes in my chest. I know it’s wrong of me to have assumed they were going to cover my meal. I kind of bit my tongue and didn’t say anything as she finished. Up next was Ken and I kind of bit my tongue, hoping he was going to pay or offer but alas he didn’t. When it was my turn I kind of froze in place. I didn’t bring any money here and felt my heart pounding faster than anything.
“It’s your turn.” Cleo said to me. I kind of half panicked smiled and fake felt my pockets.
“I don’t have any money on me.” I say a little desperate. I begin figetting with my fingers as my hands begin to shake.
“Oh no! Did you forget your wallet?” Ken asked. With no other excuses or options I nodded.
“That’s weird, I’ll handle it this time you owe me.” Cleo said. I nodded as she plays for my place. She was a little off at the beginning but after I returned from the bathroom from an initial bout of anxiety the rest of the dinner went really nice. Ken gave me a small handmade hat which was really nice and Cleo gave me a pair of Rick and Morty socks. It’s my favorite show.
I was surprised to see Cleo sent me a text requesting the amount. I paid it because I don’t like confrontation. I feel guilty and kind of stupid for assuming they were just going to pay for me. It’s a little selfish.
Edit: I don’t know why I’m being so poorly received I’m sorry if what I did was wrong.
TLDR; Two friends asked me out on my birthday at old country buffet. We pay separately, I didn’t bring any money because I thought I was paid for. Cleo foots the bill thankfully and sends a bill after. Lesson? Don’t forget money.
Comments
No one gets a free ride. Stop being a mooch and using “anxiety” as an excuse for being a horrible friend
It’s not unreasonable to assume people pay for your meal if they throw a birthday party for you. But you should always bring money just in case
Seemed like a reasonable misunderstanding. If they said it the way you did–that they wanted to “take you out”–then I would have probably assumed the same thing. I always bring money, just out of habit, but when you take someone out it typically involves paying for them.
Cleanest AI Gen post I’ve seen yet.
Way overly descriptive though in terms of written like a book and AI can’t help themselves they always have to put a lesson in the tldr
I’m sorry you experienced this. My SO experienced this from one of her best friends last year. “We want to take you out for your birthday.” The check came and he said, “Separate checks.” I automatically covered it, but it still bothers her.
TIL Old Country Buffet is still around.
It’s definitely an understandable situation. Happened to me too, a friend/colleague arranged a birthday meal for me, chose where o go, arranged the time and who was going. I was then a bit miffed when I had to pay for myself, especially as there were a few of them, it wouldn’t have been much each. I didn’t get any cards or gifts from any of them, so nothing was spent on me at all. I was resisting going out for a meal, but was talked into it, which made it worse, I wouldn’t have wasted money on a meal when money was tight for me then.
It was my first time having a meal with this group of people as I had moved area since the birthday before, and it obviously wasn’t how they do things, but it definitely was how I’d done things in the past, either one or all of the group would have said “you’re not paying it’s your birthday!” Especially if it was organised by someone other than the birthday girl.