My husband turned 32 this weekend and I (F28) arranged a small family birthday party for him at his parents’ house, as we were visiting them over Easter. As a present from his brother he got two pieces of specially marinated steaks, sourced from a local seller with a secret sauce. He didn’t really get any other presents except for a chocolate bunny from his older sister and a small gift from me.
When we were packing our things to travel home this morning, I was tasked to pack refrigerated things into the cooler, preparing for our 6 hour drive home accross the country. I was asked then if I remembered to pack the steaks (I am currently being assessed for adhd and am very forgetful). I confidently said yes, as I remembered putting the blue container with the steaks in the cooler. But in the evening when we got home from our cross country commute, his mother notified us that they had found the steaks in their fridge.
My husband has been depressed for the last few years. We had a long talk in the car earlier today about him being depressed and feeling disappointed in many aspects of life. And then this hits.
I had forgotten to pack the steaks. I packed a similar container in the cooler, and that became a sort of ”false memory” of having packed the special steaks.
As we had just gotten home when we were notified, I needed to tend to our two cats after the long drive and he needed to go fuel the car. So I sat at home bawling my eyes out feeling like the worst person ever when he got home and found me. I sobbed and apologized. He hugged me and said it’s not the end of the world, but I can see how sad he is. My emotions are all over the place but I don’t want to make this about me. How can I help make this right?
TL;DR
I forgot my husband’s birthday present steaks on the other side of the country
Comments
Triple bag em, ice, ship em!
Sounds like a three hour drive for lunch and a handover at a halfway spot is in order. I would not trust the postal system enough to ship them
Buy him some different expensive steaks?
If they’re that meaningful can someone meet you half way? I’ve done a 12 hour round trip in the car in a single day before, not fun but its doable if it needs to happen. The effort would also go a long way.
Plan a date night and make him a steak with some special sauce! Shows him you’re sorry, and you both get to enjoy a nice meal.
You did not fu. I hate when people outsource their responsibilities to their spouse. If something is important to us, we do it. We do not rely on others. Your husband he is a big boy who can remember his things all by himself. This is especially true when you know the other person is being assessed for a condition that can lead them to forget or be distracted. I am also forgetful. To the point where it is a problem in my life. Like, I lose my keys, phone, wallet, food and drinks, etc on a daily basis. But I take responsibility for my own things, and if they are forgotten (which they usually are) it falls to me. No one else.
Take a day off and go get them? Find somebody to do it for you? Maybe a family member or cab is willing to do half the trip to share the travel load?
Oh yes… do give your hubby a extra special gift on top. wink-wink Always appreciated by husbands.
I’m sure him seeing how distraught you were over his sadness, cheered him up.
It’s not the end of the world! I’m sure he’s the type of guy that understands it really was an accident. He’ll move on with out you having to do anything. But if you want actionable ideas.
If moneys not an issue I would either arrange the stakes to be shipped back to you. Or order new ones and prepare them as a surprise.
If moneys tight then Bedroom favors would definitely do the trick. Somethin you know he wants but he’s never done before will surely work. If your thinking something like cosplay/lingerie then just surprise him with it, Anal or a three-way you might want to mention it first. Unless your sure he would enjoy it, he’s your husband you should have a rough idea of what he wants.
Sounds like the steaks have never been higher.
Take him out for a steak dinner.
You kinda already made it about you because he had to comfort you instead of the other way around
Time to sneak out in the night and drive 12 hours
Have your inlaws freeze until you get back over there,
The parenthetical (I am currently being assessed for adhd and am very forgetful) is so ironically adhd. 🙂 He said it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok.
I really empathize with your husband. I have felt that way in my marriage a lot.
They can be packed with dry ice and shipped overnight.
Freeze them and pick up up in 6-12 months if properly stored.
Drive back and get them? If they’re that special and you have a car, why not?
Awww this blows. It’s not the end of the world tho! Buy a few high quality steaks, whatever sides you like, and drinks to make it up 🙂
I do definitely think you should give him space to feel neglected. Sometimes we cant help but feel bad, but you are also not the person that needs comforting here. So try to keep that in mind. People need the space to feel disappointed without feeling guilty for feeling that way.
I would also suggest this be a sort of resolve to, when something is so deeply important, double check. False memory isn’t really a good excuse, when it trivializes something that matters to someone you love.