TL;DR: hair dresser raised her voice which made me freeze so bad I agreed to something I didn’t want, stuck with an ugly colour for quite some time because my hair is too damaged now.
Okay, so well. I(25f) have not been doing great at the moment, both mental, physical as socially (last 2 years 8 people including my best friend and partner passed away).
I have c-ptsd have dealt with (mentally) abusive circumstances for way too long, and I noticed by myself that I regulate myself worse and worse. The smallest things trigger a flight/fright/fight response in me. It was my birthday a few days ago and spent it in the mental hospital, awful days.
Anyway, I decided to treat myself and go to the hair salon. (Man this truly is a treat, in my country it has gotten so damn expensive). I had 2 ideas. One had my preference, my hair has been strawberry blond/gingerish these last few months but it started fading away so I wanted to do it again, I really liked how it looked on me. My other option was more close to my natural hair colour with some highlights, a bit simpler. When I showed the two references to my hair dresser, she was visibly annoyed. ” These are literally 2 completely different things. Can’t do my work if you act like that” I replied that I was looking for their input. I do know what I want but I also want my hair to be healthy and I don’t know if dyeing it again would be bad for me. I have no clue about these things. I genuinely and naively thought that they would enjoy advising me. She sighed and said we could better do just my own hair colour, not because of the damage but because I would be back in no time when my own colour started showing up again at the roots and she would have to have this “discussion” again with me. I said I didn’t mind about that and that I was happy to keep my ginger colour and- she interrupted me, lashing out about how incredible indecisive I was, “let’s just do your own colour so you don’t have to come back”
And I just..nodded. I froze and agreed. I could say anything, I could have walked away. I just sat there because her tone scared me.
It didn’t end up being my own colour. I am dark blond naturally, and I have deep brown hair now leaning towards black. Highlights weren’t possible because it would damage my hair too much. Ever going back to ginger wasn’t possible for a whole year because it would mess up my colour as well. She yanked my piercing out of my ear (per accident ofcourse) when brushing. (Edit: it actually ripped a part of my ear. 1.5 year of healing gone, I can’t put it in anymore) I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore because there was blood in my ear and I genuinely hate this colour so much and I can’t bear the thought of walking around in it for months or even a year.
This isn’t AIO but just to be clear: I am overreacting. I know that. This is minor, and it’s on me for freezing about something so little just because someone raised their voice at me. It’s a little pathetic, but doesn’t take away the fact that by not speaking up I am stuck looking like Willy Wonka for God knows how long. (Changing) myq appearance is one of the last thing I actually control in my life so yeah I fucked up. Incredibly minor but still did.
Edit: no idea why this is labelled as M, I would have chosen S haha. I’m sure I am not the only one who walked away from the hair salon with something they didn’t want lol
Comments
It doesn’t sound like you’re over reacting at all. Just how careless is she to completely yank your piercing out of your ear on top of managing to dye your hair that much darker?
That hairdresser sounds so rude!!! I wouldn’t go back to that person. Sorry you had a bad time OP, it sucks that your hair didn’t turn out to be a color you liked.
I would leave a bad online review and literally never return.
I would have left immediately, why give them all of your money if they are so rude. Next time just leave.
If she used professional products it is likely you can be highlighted to break up the dark color. See another professional and ask what can be done.
I know this hurts. I hate it when people get weirdly mad too. This should have been an enjoyable experience and I’m sorry!
Omg, that’s rough…imo, that hair dresser was kinda rude for pressuring you like that.
You are absolutely not over reacting. Fuck that lady, what a disgusting way to act. I would for sure call and leave a review about it. I’ve been doing hair for over a decade and there is never a reason to treat a client the way she did.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. But let’s be clear. Freezing is not a fuck up, it’s a trauma response and you don’t have any control over that. It’s not your fault this happened, you were triggered and I get why, seeing this hairdresser was so rude and insulting. Be kind to yourself, okay? 🙏🏻
Girl, don’t feel bad. Honestly, my last hair salon experience was even worse, not that I’m trying to one up you, it’s just that I get it! Mine straight up touched my boobs with her fingers, and asked if that’s the length I wanted. I immediately froze, and couldn’t tell her no, I want it longer, because then her fingers would have gone down, and touched my nipples. So, I just said, yeah, and let her cut my hair shorter than I wanted, and then I tipped her 20% and left.
Once I was home, I left a review as requested by the salon, and they saw what happened, and gave me a full refund. I’m still in shock to the point of cutting my own hair. I tried to see someone else, but I just didn’t like it.
I would definitely leave a bad review. She told you to your face that you’re not welcome in the salon anymore because you asked for her advice
My best friend was my hairdresser – then she died. I let my hair go for 2.5 years until I found a hair person to trust.
If you were my friend I’d go in there and speak to a manager on your behalf. You got bullied and there were real consequences. AND you paid for the experience. Sorry that happened and I hope you know someone like me.
I’m a hairdresser and you are NOT overreacting, I will often make my clients take their piercings out out of fear I will catch on them and I can’t understand why she didn’t just give you a nice balayage style soft highlights with a nice ginger tone. Your salon experience should be a treat, your stylist should do everything to make you feel at ease. Sorry you had a negative experience and I hope you get find someone who can give you the service you deserve.
I wish I could hug you right now.
I bet it’s hard to know whether you are justified in your reaction, but trust me, you are not overreacting. A person with more confidence in that moment might have advocated for themselves in some way, yes, but that’s because something happened. There was something to advocate. Something legitimately happened to cause YOUR reaction.
I know it’s hard to imagine leaving a review of this salon and this hairdresser during a time when its a struggle to maintain a sense of Self and regulate emotion, but from my perspective, you really are justified.
Going to a salon should be a selfcare experience. Customers should feel nurtured and cared for. Hairdressers should prioritize the customer’s needs and wants, as they are the one who has to live with their hair afterwards. You came in with two very clear ideas, and asked her expert opinion on which would be safer and better for your hair. She didn’t listen to your needs. She didn’t explain herself well. And she didn’t check in with you throughout the process (“I’m thinking of doing this, is this okay” etc). She was rude, unprofessional, and aggressive to the point of injuring you physically. You froze because she legitimately scared you. Your feelings about this are 100% valid.
This is not a TIFU 💛 Whether or not you choose to leave a review, please release any self-blame for how your hair turned out. Take away everyone’s emotions, and it’s simple: you didn’t get anything close the style you asked for. You have your inspo pics as proof.
Sending you hugs.
She sounds like a horrible person. You don’t have to stick with the color you have. Since it’s darker than your natural you can use a brand called ‘color B4’ to remove what’s there. It will bring it back to the lightest shades, either your natural or what has been bleached.
You won’t be able to color over your hair for about 2 days and it will likely look crazy. But after to days you cam dye your hair. GO A FOOD FEW SHADES LIGHTER THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT AS YOUR HAIR WILL BE EXCEPTIONALLY POROUS AND WILL ABSORB SO MUCH COLOUR!!!!
Sorry for the caps, it’s just very very important!!! That and the DO NOT CORLOR YOUR HAIR AGAIN FOR 2 DAYS!! Wear a hat to hide it if you need, however you might like the color since you have dark blonde natural hair and like it with copper in it.
The color b4 is great it has no bleach or ammonia. It’s used a lot by hairdressers in UK and Ireland.
Source: I’m a trained hairdresser
That’s an uh “nevermind” and walk out immediately if anyone ever treats you like this again. Do you have any friends you can trust enough to accompany you next time?
You did nothing wrong- she was just a crabby evil beeeotch. I made the mistake in my twenties of letting a cranky hairdresser perm my hair once. It’s a rule, if they are cranky they are not touching me
You should def report her unprofessional behavior
You should complain to the salon, maybe not about your hair, but she injured your ear. Also you aren’t overreacting at all, she was being a jerk.
You’re not overreacting in the slightest? I would go back to the salon owner for a refund at the very least. Her attitude stinks
Crappy hair dresser. I ask mine all the time which would be better and show her completely opposite pics. I also see ppl doing it on YouTube and tik Tok and none of the hairdressers get mad at the ppl asking for advice. I would never return and complain about losing your earing. She ripped it out! Why didn’t she ask you to take out the eating if she thought it would get in the way? That’s on her.
Leave a comment with the manager or owner of the salon with your experience. You did nothing to deserve this treatment. Beyond the snappy behaviour she exhibited towards you, she physically hurt you because of her carelessness.
If anything you were underreacting about the situation.
She bullied you into shutting up so she didn’t have to do her job.
You are not overreacting, she is a shit hairstylist and you should fire her as your stylist. Please report her to her manager/supervisor. Is she is doing this to you, she is doing it to others as well. Advocate for yourself. You deserve better in life!
Please don’t go back to this stylist! She sounds like a terrible human.
What the hell, that hairdresser was super rude. That is not your fuck up, and you should not go back. Nthing the posts about complaining and leaving a bad review.
Good news is you might not need to wait a whole year to start dying your hair back? I would definitely find and talk to a new hairdresser about ways to fix this.
You can also check if Celeb Luxury has a shampoo/conditioner in a color you like, I use theirs to maintain my color and it works like a charm. You would probably need to fade out the current color a bit with warm/hot washes or something like color B4 which was recommended by someone else, but I’d seriously recommend talking to a hairdresser first! See if you can find one that does free consultations first, a good place should make you feel comfortable about discussing with them without pressuring you into any hasty decisions.
She ripped your ear, you are underreacting!
You did nothing wrong. This hair dresser was just incredibly rude.
That person sounds horrible! Of course you’d ask her for input, she’s a professional, not you. And having a good hair stylist is so important! Hair is so important for mental health, too.
Definitely leave a bad review if you’re comfortable with it and never go back there.
If you remember her name call the salon and speak to the owner/manager. I would want to know if my salon is getting a shit reputation because of one shitty stylist.
I would also check your state’s (country’s) licensing board for how to report this individual. It may not stop them from being absolutely awful, but it’s a mark on their record that they’re not doing their job correctly.
She caused you bodily harm, she’s lucky you haven’t dropped a lawsuit on her.
SHE RIPPED OUT YOUR PIERCING!?!?!?!
YOU ARE UNDER REACTING this is horrible, she sounds abusive as hell!
As a cosmetology instructor who actually teaches professional development, including how to communicate in a consultation, she sucks and you’re not at fault in the slightest. Stylists have their bad days like anyone, but this is goes well beyond “having a bad day.” She truly sucks for how she acted towards you.
Also, not sure how hairstylist licensing works where you live, but if there is any kind of regulating agency, you should consider reporting what happened to your ear. Getting your hair done wrong sucks but it happens and it’s not permanent. Her RIPPING YOUR EAR and not even doing anything about it is completely unacceptable.
The good thing about hair color is that it’s basically like house paint. You can just dye it another color if you don’t want to wait for it to grow out.
I would have reacted exactly the same way in that situation, and then berated myself afterwards for not walking away – just like you are now.
This was a horrible experience with a nasty, unprofessional hairdresser. If I were you, I’d leave a negative Google review with a summary of what happened.
You are not overreacting. I understand why you froze and I’m sorry you became so activated. That is not your fault.
If this was in a salon you can talk to the owner about her lack of communication and adversarial attitude caused you to have hair you don’t like. You can ask for a refund, money towards color correction at another salon, and payment for your piercing being ripped out.
I’m in the US and I don’t know what’s possible for you, but try not let yourself let it go. That woman is a menace and shouldn’t be allowed to bully clients.