TIFU by getting biofreeze by my no no

r/

I was about to enter the bathroom when my fiancé stopped me and asked me if I could quickly help him put some bio freeze on his back. Ofc no problem! I happily applied it for him and went on my way. Brushed my hair and put it up for bed, washed my hands quickly. Then I hopped on the old potty John to go number1. However, as I was wiping I noticed a slight tingling sensation on the old sausage pocket. I was so confused on what was going on when I looked over and saw the little green tube of terror staring at me. Menacingly. I suppose I didn’t wash my hands well enough before I carried on with my bad self. And well yeah the remnants of the bio freeze was still on my hand forgot about it and now I’m dealing with the burning of a fiery summer day in hell but also the sweet coolness of a popsicle on that fiery summer day in Hell.
TL;DR: I got remnants of bio freeze on my fuzz muff.

Comments

  1. Current_Bobcat1199 Avatar

    Poetry. Well done

  2. falcopilot Avatar

    TIL “sausage pocket” and “fuzz muff”.

  3. l3l4ck0ut Avatar

    ur wording is much funnier than the actual story lol “old sausage pocket” n “fuzz muff”. reminds me of that one SNL skit where they got abducted by aliens.

  4. rikitikkitavi8 Avatar

    Listen OP I got that stuff just on my hip bone at mile 24 of a marathon and it burned like hell. The open sweat glands must have allowed for deep penetration! I feel your pain. I’ve also done the Serrano or habanero chopping and thought my hands were washed until my eyes were burning up!

  5. FizzyCutiePie Avatar

    Rule #1 of life: always double check before applying anything down there!