so i (26m) hate giving my real name at starbucks. it’s not even that weird of a name, but they always mess it up or call out something totally wrong. so i’ve started using fake names just for fun.
a few days ago, i decided to go with “derek.” no real reason, just felt like a derek kind of day.
i place the order, they say “thanks, derek.” and i sit down to wait. about 3 minutes later, the barista yells out: “iced vanilla latte for derek!”
i don’t move.
he calls again, louder: “DEREK!”
i’m just sitting there like “where the hell is this derek guy?”
then another customer turns to me and goes, “hey man, aren’t you derek?”
i just stared at him. full mental blank.
“OH SH*T. I’M DEREK.”
i scrambled up to get the drink, muttered something like “long day,” and walked out with the most embarrassed sip of my life.
i don’t even like vanilla lattes. i panicked and picked the first thing on the menu.
tl;dr: gave a fake name at starbucks, forgot i was that person, sat there confused until someone reminded me i’m the idiot who made up “derek.”
Comments
Maximum Derek
Haha, classic Derek.
I have gotten to the point that I just put T as that’s the initial of my first name because they always say or spell my name wrong too. It’s also my nickname given to me by my friends so ill always be like I’m so and so but you can call me T
This is why I always give the name Meow.
The looks on their faces when they are yelling meow
Lol…as a real Derek. I surprised they didn’t call you Drek
Nice AI story
Maximum Derek.
My hubby always gives some stupid name like mandolorian UGH
Just use a name close to your real one so you don’t forget. Don’t get too used to weird, deceptive practices.
You need to pick a Starbucks persona that you use every time you are in Starbucks. I suggest Derek.
first time going to disney with my nephew (he was 1 at the time) I thought itd be cute to order my coffee under his name. But Im also socially awkward and that was a change to my script that made me completely stumble. The cashier looked at me like “this idiot doesn’t know his own name”
Its ok- all you have to do is never ever return to that establishment ever again.
>i place the order, they say “thanks, derek.”
>he calls again, louder: “DEREK!”
>i’m just sitting there like “where the hell is this derek guy?”
I’m laughing here…
Start using Spartacus.
You panicked when ordering? Why?
I go with “Igor” and pretend I have a hunchback.
Ok this is funny. I used to do this too but then got the app.
Shoulda have gone with Alice.
“Alice? Who the f- is Alice?!”
The fact that you don’t even like the drink has me in tears.
Why were u panicking when you placed the order?
Haha!
Reminds me of a professor friend who went for a meal with his wife after booking under Mr Smith. They were greeted at the restaurant by one of his students who thought that his wife was his bit on the side.
A friend of mine used to give the name Thornhill after the main character in North by Northwest. (This was in restaurants before Starbucks was a thing.) I tried it once because I somehow thought this was the epitome of cool. and the same thing happened, but it didn’t go on as long. (I’ve never even seen North by Northwest.)
Lmao, Derek’s big moment! Forgetting your own alias is peak chaos