Throwaway account even though it’ll be so obvious to the two other people in this story that it’s about them if it’s found.
I (29M) was out shopping with my fiancé (27F) and while we were lining up to get a coffee, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see the girl I was head over heels for in high school (29F).
Just for a bit of background, I never dated this person, but everyone in our friendship circle (including her) were very aware of my feelings towards her, which is now quite embarrassing to look back on, because I wasn’t aware how obvious it was to EVERYONE at the time. I did ask her out a date on one occasion, but she politely declined, and we stayed friends for another 12 months until that entire circle drifted apart naturally. But for several years, this girl was the (very much unrequited) love of my life and my absolute dream person.
Anyway, so cut to over a decade later, I’m very happily engaged to a wonderful person I’m planning on spending the rest of my life with. But instead of handling myself with any grace, immediately upon seeing this girl my heart starts raaaacing and I was stumbling over my words and barely making any sense, while still trying to be funny. I don’t even know why I got so nervous, but it was so unexpected and I was overcompensating and getting more anxious realising how obvious it was I was uncomfortable.
So we had a brief, brutal chat, parted ways and then I was just left with my fiancé who went very quiet for the rest of our time out, until we were driving home about half an hour later, when she told me “I’ve just never seen you like that in my life”.
I tried explaining that it was just a shock and I don’t know what came over, but things are still weird between us right now. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: was overly excited seeing my high school crush in public with my fiancé right there.
Comments
Childhood memories are strong, human body fickle. You don’t have control over the hormones in your body but don’t mistake that for love and don’t do anything dumb. Say sorry to your fiance if it made her uncomfortable and just don’t talk to your high school crush. No reason to blow things out of proportion.
Don’t overthink this. You and your future wife will look back on this and laugh at how you fumbled yourself over this past crush! It’s not like you’re going to leave her and chase this past crush
I’ve got no advice for you brother, but I just want to say good fucking luck, my guy.
Your fiance seeing that is bruuuuuutal – I can’t see how that doesn’t just linger at the back of her mind forever, honestly.
Fuck that girl though, as in, if she knew how you felt and what not then the tap on the shoulder intro was her throwing a bloody flashbang. If she seen you out as a couple beforehand too, then she’s either callous or a stirrer, imo.
Adolescence is a turbulent time. We ride highs and lows of our rapidly changing endocrine systems while trying to fine tune our social identity. Being flashed back into that mindset has clearly discombobulated you. Buy your fiance a box of chocolates and return the focus to now and not then
I walked right past my high school crush at my 20 year high school reunion and I had a similar anxiety attack. Mind you, at this point I had been married for 15 years at this point and hadn’t even thought of this girl since probably 11th grade (she moved). All those awkward feelings from 16 year old scrawny me came rushing back. I just nodded hello and kept walking because I didn’t want to embarrass myself by trying to have a normal conversation.