So I have tics. Harmless, right? WRONG.
I’m sitting on the city bus, minding my business, when Shaggy’s Mr. Bombastic starts playing on repeat in my head. Harmless, right? Suddenly, my mouth goes
“MR. BOMBASTIC!”
Guy behind me: “Mr. Lomba Lomba.”
Me: ???!
My soul left my body.
I was visiting this guy I was dating in the psych ward yes, I know, red flag factory He asks me sweetly,
Can you grab me a hot cocoa from the café downstairs?
Me, thinking I’m hilarious
Sure, I’ll bring you back a big Black male stripper.
We laugh. Ha ha. I walk off to get the cocoa like nothing happened.
On my way back? BIGGEST Black male nurse I have ever seen.
My brain don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it
My mouth
“OOOOH, THERE’S the HOT COCOA stripper!”
To. His. Face.
I could feel Satan laughing from hell.
Someone once told me this dark joke about musicians fingering a minor. My brain stored it for later
Fast f orward to Walmart. I’m in the baking aisle. An elderly Catholic lady is right next to me. My brain: hey remember that joke?
My mouth:
“Finger a minor.”
At full conversational tone.
The lady glares at me like I just confessed to a felony. I SPRINTED out of that store so fast
TL;DR: TIFU by having tics that turned me into a public menace: sang Shaggy on a bus, hit on a nurse by accident, and scared a old lady in Walmart
Comments
The Shaggy interaction sounds purely positive. The nurse was probably just confused, not a big deal. And the dark joke to a random old woman…yeah that one’s not so good but you ran so it’s over and done.
No need to beat yourself up over things you can’t control.
Do you have both motor (physical) and vocal tics? If you’ve experienced both for more than a year it’s probably a good idea to seek a tourette’s diagnosis if you don’t already have one! I’m diagnosed with tourette’s
OP it seems you’ve hit the jackpot – having tics combined with a dark sense of humour. I’d offer my condolences but need to stop laughing first. : )
This is hilarious 😂 are you officially diagnosed with Tourette’s? You might wanna get checked out how to control it
I haven’t come across anything like this in a very long time. But… today I chose to watch a new Flemish television series on Dutch tv. It’s about a woman with Tourette, who wishes to become a teacher.
She “fucks up” all the time, in all kinds of contexts. I wouldn’t call it a fuck up actually, bc it’s who she is. Though many awkward moments happen, it is the reality she is living in. It is her life, and only awkward for those who are not used to it. So, the “fucking up” meaning of it is relative to the observer, not the experiencer.
Reading this post also made me wonder… why is this post presented to me, right now, while I am watching this series, when I have not been interacting with anything about this subject for a very long time? Why now? Must be that my phone is spying on me, right?
I’m the partner-is-in-a-psych-ward type too.
I’m high af and read that as ticks as in the bugs. Holy fuckeroni was i done a confuse
Your brain is playing Cards Against Humanity on autoplay and your mouth has no filter setting. Absolute chaos NPC energy — I’d watch a whole series of this