Happened a little over an hour ago. A friend paid me back some money I lent them via Venmo and I wanted to go to dinner with it. I keep my less used cards(emergency credit card, debit card from my secondary bank, and Venmo debit card) in an older wallet on my desk.
My son came over this last weekend and brought his ferret. We like to let the ferret run free when they are here because she doesn’t get a lot of time out of her cage at his mom’s. She likes to explore and understandably, the trash can is one of her favorites. After I’ve pulled her out of it a few times, I put the can on top of my hamper so it is away from the desk and high enough she can’t climb into it.
Back to today, I change out of my work clothes and start looking for the wallet. Not on my desk, behind it, under it, or in the drawer. I toss my room. Maybe I put it somewhere else and am forgetting. Nothing. Found some socks I was missing, found a missing remote for my sound bar, and where the ferret has been hiding treats behind my dresser.
Out of desperation, I check the trash can. The wallet is on the bottom under some empty cans and snack wrappers. My stomach drops when I open it and none of the cards are there. I toss my room again. Maybe I took them out and stashed them somewhere else and I’m not remembering. Turn up nothing.
At this point my mind starts racing. They only people who have been in my home since I moved in are my son, my father, and the people who repaired the AC in 2019.
I call my son, he doesn’t answer. I text him asking if he has seen the wallet. No answer. I call my dad to see if he dropped by while I was at work. Nope, he is in another state for work.
Now is where I fucked up. My son is a good kid. The worst thing he has ever done is not do his homework because he didn’t like a class.
Every fiber of my being is telling me there is no way he took them. I call again and leave him a voice mail asking for him to call me back ASAP. Wait maybe 10 seconds and call his mom in a panic. Ask her to check with him. She reluctantly agrees after I tell her my cards are gone and my wallet was in the trash, almost hidden under some wrappers. She hangs up and a few minutes later texts me back he hasn’t seen it. I text him one more time and say “Look, if you took my cards, just be honest, and bring them back. That will be the end of it.”
While stewing, I check the trash one more time but decide to take everything out instead of just mix it around.
There they are at the very bottom.
My guess is the ferret knocked the wallet into the can one of the time she was on my desk and the cards shook loose from the fall or while she was digging around.
The reason I don’t use the wallet is because I’ve had it since high school and the card sleeves are worn out.
Now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to apologize for being a dumb ass and ever thinking my son would do such a thing.
TL:DR I didn’t check the trash I found my worn out wallet in thoroughly and blamed my son for taking the cards I keep in it.
Comments
What do you mean..how to apologize..just call him and say you were out of line and you are very sorry.
Ouch. Why didn’t you check the trash can more thoroughly since that’s literally where you found your wallet? Honestly I’d be pretty sour towards you for a while, way to show me what you’re thinking when I’m over for the weekend
Don’t “figure out how to apologize”. Do it right now, and keep it very simple.
It’s an understandable mix up.
Tell him most of what you said here:
You fucked up. He’s a good kid. You know he wouldn’t do this and you’re sorry. Kids need to hear apologies and the more you can model how to be humble and honest when you make a mistake, the better he’ll be at it as he grows.
My dad use to accuse me of shit constantly. I remembering him exploding at me for “stealing the tire pump for his bike” and how I was such a useless mooching nothing (side note: he was a bad parent). Then four days later age mentions off hand to my mom that he found his tire pump in his trunk. He totally forgot he put it there! Silly him. Zero mention to me or any acknowledgement that he’d blown up at me, let alone that he was wrong.
That was two decades ago and it’s still deep in my brain. Don’t be my dad. Honestly and sincerely apologize.
You haven’t apologized yet? You couldn’t wait 10 seconds for him to respond, and an hour later you haven’t responded to say you’re sorry and that you fucked up?
Why do people act like apologizing is the hardest thing in the world? Literally just say “I’m sorry for accusing you of taking my cards when I had zero proof and you’ve not done this before, that was very uncool of me.”
You wrote a detailed summary of events of what happened but you can’t just say “yo, son I screwed up by thinking you took and used my cards. Sorry about that”
Also you should face him and apologize face to face, not text an apology.