Out of town at a hotel for a conference, high speed Internet and mobile phone in hand, step into the dry shower at the end of a long day at work downstairs. Using the provided lube (conditioner), my work was done in short order.
I then turned on the shower to warm up and went back into the main room to put down my phone.
Here’s the fuck up- we all know, or should, that the best way to clean a protein-rich, goopy substance, does not involve hot water. In fact, hot water just leaves the slippery proteins while washing away the water soluble parts.
Forgetting this, I boldly stride into the glass-walled shower only to nearly break my damn legs and neck as I slid in from one side to the other on what felt like warm ice, barely catching myself on the shower grip handles. Now my foot hurts.
TL;DR: masturbated in shower and slipped on my own hot load, nearly hurting myself very badly.
Comments
No offense but glad it was you and not someone else..yes you FU
I almost felt you hitting the glass
Annnnd that’s why we wear shower shoes when traveling.
Congratulations, you just played (with) yourself.
Use the damn toilet
We’ve all been there bruh
I knew of someone who slipped and broke their neck/died while in the shower. We never really think about those risks, but they are there…
The lord works in mysterious ways.
J/k – am reminded of a great George Carlin joke about why an all-seeing omniscient being would be interested in what we’re doing in the bathroom.
dude slipping on his own cum
Damn kids trying to kill you
Hope you washed between your toes real well otherwise you’re walking around with cum feet.
And then you ran to Reddit to tell everyone this
Not the right sub for this but, you ARE the asshole. Real homies know that you NEVER leave jellyfish in the drain of a communal shower. That is very un-bro like behavior.
I thought the fuck up was going to be burning your pee hole from using conditioner as lube.
You woulda deserved it tbh
You went into the dry shower to stand up and jerk off? What is wrong with you?
Bro… I had a whole story that I was about to tell, and I decided to contie not to tell anyone.
Even though people in my life know the gist of what happened, they don’t know the part that made me want to tell the story here. And I would rather people not know.
But I feel your pain… and then some. Had to get stitches on my knee and missed a court date. Bitch Judge was going to basically just rule against me, but luckily it got pushed back, got a new judge, and the case was dropped.