I’ve been “cool” with a coworker of mine for a few months. Recently was talking about Chinese tariffs with another (African American) coworker. I said “I don’t buy expensive clothing anymore so doesn’t really matter much to me”
She sat with us immediately and said: “I got this bag for free!”
Me: “that’s the Jew in you!” Smiling
Her: “I can’t believe you just said that.”
Me: “I thought we were cool…. Sorry”
Her to other coworker: “imagine if I said something about black, I’d be fired.”
Me: “I’m sorry that was fucked up.”
Her: “I still can’t believe you said that.”
Mind you all, we’ve joked around at work about more vulgar things. She’s said stuff in the past during a busy lunch in the break room like: “oh look it’s feeding time at the zoo!”
I realized how sensitive this person was and immediately went to my administrator and told him what had happened and admitted I was wrong. And if she goes and complains that’s the story.
Sure enough she complained as well.
He said “yeah you shouldn’t say things like that” but you apologized, just don’t do it again. I basically got a verbal warning.
Saw her the next working day and said: “good morning”. She didn’t respond. Ok. Whatever.
TL;DR made a stupid/racial comment to a Jewish coworker. That I thought I was cool with, with absolutely no malicious intent.
Anyway, I’m Asian if that matters.
Lay it on me guys. Tell me how much I fucked up.
Comments
I mean you basically just stereotyped a Jewish person. It’s like saying you’re Asian, you must be good at math and hate Muslims.
You are an idiot and are lucky you did not get fired. You still might.
Unless you’re Jewish, or married to someone Jewish, WTF?
Don’t do this shit at work lol. Keep it totally PG, save the roasting for actual friends
Lol, that’s hilarious
I’d be less outwardly offended than this person. But my estimation of you will have changed.
To be honest just be happy you didn’t get fired.
You royally fucked up here. And it’s not because she ‘didnt take it as intended’ or you ‘thought you were cool with her’
Time to grow up and get offline dude.
Ugh. You’re a terrible person.
Yeah you fucked up but they’re having a great time. The posts! The likes! The “you’re a 10 babes!” :/
Why did you say that fucked up thing
Did… did you think people here would somehow sympathize with your antisemitism? I like how you tried to blame the person for being “sensitive” rather than acknowledging what you said was insensitive and hateful. Also, “BTW I’m Asian”? Does that somehow make this whole thing ok?
Hope you get fired and your former employer is able to tell any future employer why you were fired.
>Mind you all, we’ve joked around at work about more vulgar things.
Beyond the example you gave (which given that it was a packed lunch room I wouldn’t really consider that a racist joke unless most of your coworkers are also black), what else comes to mind?
Sounds like they’ve cracked the shits over nothing, but it’s hard to say without any context.
Admittedly that’s funny, but I’m dying of cringe that it was said in the work context. Keep the boarder line humour to friends, but I don’t think you need to be told that. You did the right thing by apologising and fronting up so very well handled blunder
I don’t understand how “feeding time at the zoo” referring to a busy canteen is more vulgar.
She’s said stuff in the past during a busy lunch in the break room like: “oh look it’s feeding time at the zoo!”
She sat with us immediately and said: “I got this bag for free!” Me: “that’s the Jew in you!” Smiling
if you actually think those two statements are equal then you’re gonna fuck up, cause your brain isn’t helping you much.
Can you think of a reason you didn’t get fired?
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You handled it perfectly, lesson learned. You apologized and she decided not to accept a sincere apology. For a slip that you meant as a friendly joke she tried to get you fired, nice work-friend.
You sound like a closet racist.
Op, you deserve whatever is going to happen to you. The “stingy/greedy Jew” stereotype is hundreds of years old and responsible for a lot of antisemitism in history. You’re throwing hate in the face of another minority like your own, for what? To be edgy?
Grow the fuck up.
ETA Stingy
You’re an ass!
So much to unpack here. Every time you defend yourself, you make yourself sound more like an AH.
You didn’t make a racial comment – you made a racist comment.
“Sorry, I thought we were cool.” Translation: “Sorry, I thought I could say racist things around you now.”
If “Feeding time at the zoo” is the most “vulgar” comment she’s made, you don’t understand what that word means.
No, you being Asian doesn’t change anything. You didn’t make a racist joke about Asians, you made it about Jews. Being a minority doesn’t give you a pass to be racist.
Jesus Christ
Funny how the first instance she joked about a zoo, you instantly thought it was about you.
Ironic dont you think?
We joke all the time about things like this to each other at my work
A misplaced joke and you apologized. Nothing more you can do, imo she should just get over it. I think whats worse is thats it not that good of a joke 😛
>we’ve joked around at work about more vulgar things
You should probably consider not doing that.
>She’s said stuff in the past during a busy lunch in the break room like: “oh look it’s feeding time at the zoo!”
That’s not really the same thing, she’s making a general remark and not directing it at a specific person or a specific group of people (i.e. not racist).
What a loser, people that cant handle jokes like that must be miserable to be around.
I think the only way you can possibly save face in that situation is self-deprecating humor. Say something worse stereotyping yourself. But it would have had to be in the moment.
>we’ve joked around at work about more vulgar things. She’s said stuff in the past during a busy lunch in the break room like: “oh look it’s feeding time at the zoo!”
That is not vulgar at all. It is not racist, if that is what you’re implying. It just means that the situation is chaotic.
>Saw her the next working day and said: “good morning”. She didn’t respond. Ok. Whatever
You shouldn’t be pissed at her or dismissive of her. You went way too far and she is likely questioning what sort of person you are.
At least you know you fucked up and you’re not on Am I The Asshole. Hopefully this is a learning experience for you.
You may have saved your job by talking to your administrator.
The problem with personal jokes is that you may think you’ve developed a comfort zone with someone until you joke about the wrong thing.
Fat joke, was funny.
Bad hair day, was funny.
Joke about ugly shoes? crossing the line!
(talks to HR) “Yes, my co-worker has been harassing me for months. I’ve tried to laugh it off to uncomfortably change the mood when they joked about my weight and my hair, but today was just too much. My daughter is a fashion designer and she designed those shoes. I’m sick of all of the harassment too.”
…and you thought you were laughing it up with them and trading friendly barbs.
You will never have their true perspective on the matter until HR tells it to you as they escort you out of the door.
Best advice – avoid those kinds of things altogether. Work “friends” are generally not “friend-friends”. You know the difference after-the-fact with who you hang out with once one of you leaves the company.
I don’t think I’d be offended, it’s not really my right to be offended on behalf of Jewish people (though I can certainly imagine a Jewish person you don’t know well being offended at that comment). But I’d probably say it’s a bad look to openly stereotype people like that. In my head, I’d think you’re an idiot for doing so in the workplace and a double idiot for thinking the zoo comment is in any way equivalent.
Jesus even people in the comments are sensitive af. People should stop taking themselves so seriously.
Feeding time at the zoo is vulgar?
By what standard?
I think you misapplied some standard to whatever communication happened in the past.
That’s not a comment that reflects on people eating so much as the organization or the conditions of where the eating is taking place.
You being Asian is no excuse, Asians are essentially a majority or privileged population in many places with much less stigma about being racist in their countries of origin… Like in one hand they didn’t have chattel slavery in the same way or kill 6 million Jews but on the other China is quietly ethnically cleansing, segregating, suppressing, and otherwise making disappear 1 million+ Uyger Muslims. 🤷🏼♂️
If you’re from the states you messed up even bigger because you should know better.
Big fan of self flagellation? I’d probably take it as a lesson learned, not put it on Reddit. But maybe someone else won’t make that same mistake after reading this, and the comments.
You’ve lived in a bit of a racist bubble