TIFU by kissing a girl in the most awkward way

Not really sure how to start this post but I need to get this off my chest. Today, I (F16), fucked up by having the most awkward kiss with another girl (F16). For reference, I’ve only kissed two other girls before and that was two years ago and I had no idea what I was doing, and I barely remember.

I met this week a few weeks ago and we’ve been on one date but been texting a bit. Today was her birthday party and she invited me over. I didn’t really know anyone at the party except for her so I was kinda quiet and awkward. I wasn’t sure if we were gonna go anywhere so I was kinda just talking to her like usual. Got some reason (I really don’t know why) I thought I was hot shit after a few girls at the party were coming up to me and complimenting me. So I got in my head that I was like Shane from the L word, really don’t know why. The birthday girl came back to sit with me on the couch and started getting close and a little touchy. I decided to fuck it and get in her face and look at her in a certain way and kept making eye contact. I really thought she looked so hot but never in a million years would I think she feel the same way about me. She then leaned in and asked if she could kiss me but before I could respond, her friend started coming up to her and talk to her.

I literally was in shock that she asked me that because I wasn’t even sure if liked me back. She then grabbed my hand and led me to the front door (I had to leave early due to prior obligations.) She then kissed me and I stupidly froze. I wasn’t sure what to do and I kept my eyes open for some reason due to not believing what was happening. I was so insanely nervous that when she stopped and kissed my cheek, I was kinda visibly shaking due to not wanting to fuck up. She then walked me to my car and kissed my cheek again and started kissing me. She got in the car and told me she’d come over on Monday and kissed me again, and I AGAIN got awkward and kept my eyes open and froze. I’m pretty sure I gave her the worst kiss of her life and I’m beyond embarrassed.

I really like this and I do want to see her again, but she’s coming over to my house, home alone, and maybe she’ll wanna do more than that. I’m so nervous but excited to see her again. I really hope I don’t kiss so terribly and I have no experience doing anything other than that so wish me luck. Thanks for reading, just needed to get this off my chest.

TL;DR: TIFU by kissing a girl awkwardly with my eyes open while I froze and didn’t know what to do.