I’ve been having a stressful time at work, plus the early hours have thrown off my sleep schedule, so I’m running on fumes. Asked my boyfriend to do “the big shop” this week hoping he’d choose some convenience type meals he usually enjoys, but he had other plans lol.
After he had cooked a few of the more involved meals, and all I had contributed was “mac-n-cheesesteak bowls”, I was feeling guilty and wanted to do something a little nicer. He had picked up chicken thighs and mini potatoes so I figured that was perfect, low effort with maximum home-cooked-goodness results!
No.
The potatoes weren’t small enough so I chopped and tossed them in seasoning and oil, chucked them in the roasting tray. Thighs are bone-in, so I debone and pat them down with some paper towels. Forgot the onions! Think “fuck it, use the same knife and cutting board it’s all getting cooked together anyway”. Plop the onions on the potatoes and swirl them all around by hand, lick my finger to check they got enough secondhand seasoning
WAIT.
SHIT SHIT SHIT WHY’D I DO THAT?!
My hand and the onion are absolutely coated in chicken juice!
PANIC!
Frantically grab the nearest thing to wipe my tongue.
Gold star for you if you guessed it..
The fucking paper towels I used the pat down the thighs. Rubbed that shit ALL up and down my tongue, nice and thorough, really scrubbed that sucker.
WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!!
TL;DR: Licked my dirty, raw chicken prepping finger. Tried so solve that problem by deepthroating an even nastier paper towel. Hate myself lol.