So, yeah, I totally screwed up big time. Me and my fiance, Jess, been together 4 years, engaged for 1. Everything was great, we was planning our wedding, picking venues and all that. But then I got sucked into crypto, specifically Solana. I thought I was gonna be some genius investor, you know?
It started when I saw some X posts about memecoins, that they are like super fast, cheap fees, blah blah. I’m not rich, but I had like 10k saved up for the wedding. I figured, why not throw 5k into those coins? Make a quick buck, surprise Jess with a fancier honeymoon. I didn’t tell her, cause I wanted it to be a surprise.
Big mistake. i lost everything in the first few weeks. My 10k was gone. I was freaking out, couldn’t sleep. Jess noticed I was acting weird, kept asking what’s wrong. I didn’t wanna tell her I blew our wedding fund, so I lied, said it was work stress.
She found out anyway. I left my laptop open, and she saw the trading app, the red numbers, the whole mess. She flipped out, screaming how I gambled our future without even telling her. I tried to explain, said I’d make it back. She wasn’t having it. Said I broke her trust, acted like some sneaky addict. She gave me back the ring, packed a bag, and left to her mom’s.
That was 2 weeks ago. She’s barely talking to me, says she needs space.
TL;DR: I secretly blew our wedding fund on crypto, lost it all, and my fiance left me cause I lied about it.
Comments
Deserved. I hope she finds somebody honest.
Sounds like Jess is dodging a bullet.
If you want any chance of salvaging that relationship, stop talking about getting it back. It just makes it sound like you plan on continuing to gamble.
You fucked up. Own it. Move forward as best you can.
4 years is a long time. We all make mistakes. I hope this works out for you.
So wait, you had 10k, threw half in, but lost all 10k? Why would you throw another 5k in after losing 5k?
I’m sure, “I’ll make it back,” was exactly what she wanted to hear. Second only to, “I’ll make it back! I just need to borrow $5000!”
Well atleast you can find someone that doesn’t want an expensive wedding. If she was gonna leave you over 10k, who knows what else she would have left you for. Lesson learned, find someone better
You found unregulated gambling, lost it to the unregulated casinos and still think you can get it back, you need help, and likely to start over
You were acting sneaky. Definitely not good husband behavior.
On the other side, the money you spend on a wedding isn’t money for the future. It’s the biggest party you’ll ever throw, but it doesn’t sustain you.
How did you break her trust? Wasn’t it your money? Or was it shared money?
I think memecoins are a dumb investment, but it does seem like you were well intentioned here.
This is a real fuckup.
Own up to this, realize you’re a dipshit and then start looking for someone else. Your previous fiancé deserved someone better.
you are chopped my guy. you can recover just not ur wife nor your crypto
Good im glad she realised what a mess you are before the wedding. You are untrustworthy and irresponsible and quite frankly arrogant mixed with stupid. She dodged a bullet by leaving.
She’s never coming back. She deserves someone who’s honest and smart enough to know that crypto is a scam. At least she found out before the wedding.
I’m glad she dodged a bullet. Good riddance.
You sound like an addict, ” I tried to explain, said I’d make it back”. Maybe talk to a gambling hotline and work out whatever is making you want to gamble and lie.
Average r/wallstreetbets user
“I figured, why not throw 5k into those coins?”
Probably for all the reasons that followed this sentence.
Are you not a ‘sneaky addict’? Seem to meet the criteria.
You put an extra 5k in after losing the first 5k, you’re wanting to put more in to get it back (that seems like the start of a gambling addiction to me), and you’ve been trying to hide what’s going on.
Think about what youre doing and what youre losing.
Good for Jess. Shame on you!
I generally believe in second chances. I like to think that people are capable of learning from their mistakes and that you aren’t at risk of doing anything this stupid ever again. But I also know if it were me, I wouldn’t gamble on that outcome. This is on par with cheating on her in terms of how much of a betrayal of trust it is, and you need to start preparing for the possibility that there’s no coming back from this.
You are an idiot of the highest magnitude.
You sound like you have a problem, “I’ll make/get it back” is what all gambling addicts say, leave her alone and let her make her choice, you blew it
That’s not over crypto, that’s over degenerate memecoins. If you had gone in real crypto like BTC and ETH you’d be alright even now.
Bring Jess to the table. Tell her you fucked up. You need to make this right. Get a second job and earn back that $10k like your marriage depends on it. Those will be the easiest hours of work of your life. Every hour of that second job you should spend thinking about how fucking stupid you are, and how lucky you are to have found someone who’s willing to commit to letting your dumbass hit for life.
Once you earn that $15k (Yes, $15k. The extra $5k towards the event is your Dumbfuck Fee), quit the second job and go enjoy the rest of your life with a funny story to tell others for the rest of your probably short marriage (because eventually Jess will run off with someone as highly regarded as you)
Never bet or invest if you can’t afford to lose it. Especially crypto.
You are correct: you lost her. Not crypto.
You are an addict. This is your wake up call. If you want any chance of getting your ex back then you need to own up.
Apologize. Get therapy. Get rehab. When you come out of it, pay back your ex’s share of the money. Maybe, just MAYBE, she’ll talk to you again.
Get wrecked, bud.
A spouse is our partner in life. The key to being a good partner is communication, trust, and mutual support.
You didn’t do the first, actively destroyed the second, and can’t possibly expect the third.
There is NO way to justify it, no ‘gonna earn it back’ or ‘make it up to you’. You can’t fix this. If your relationship is salvageable, it’s only through her compassion/forgiveness and your humility.
All cryptos are scam
Can I ask the “how”?
How was it all gone? You mentioned Solana, but it’s not at half its ATH. But you also mention meme coins, so does that mean you got rug pulled for your first 5k, then went back for seconds and got rugpulled again? Or were buying on ridiculous levels of margin?
You and r/wallstreetbets were made for each other
Dipshit.
The #1 thing that would make me leave my wonderful partner is dishonesty. Without trust, what is there?
if you can’t have these conversations with your fiance before doing them, you aren’t ready for marriage my dude.
You gambled and lost dude. Not much else to say
She is right. You fucked up. She is right to leave you.
You will NOT make it back buddy. this is the slope that leads straight to addiction.
Dang man that sucks. First – forgive yourself I’ve lost orders of magnitude more money on screw ups, etc. $10k over the course of a lifetime is really not much. Second, if you want your finance back, you need to demonstrate that you are done with Crypto 100%. Third, it would help to communicate a plan to get that $10k back either by working a second job or something else.
In summary, dang you messed up but if you learn this lesson early it can save you from a much bigger mistake down the road. Index funds and chill.
Edit: Couples counseling would
Help as well.
There is never “a quick buck” most coins are scams
$10k isn’t that much so I imagine you two are fairly young. She needs some assurances you don’t degen like this in the future so 1) make back the $10k as quick as you can to show her your commitment and 2) give her assurances she can control the primary finances in the marriage.
So you lost the $5K that was your half of the wedding fund, and then lost the $5K that was her half?
And you thought you could hide it from her?
Wow.
She got a bargain getting rid of you for only $5K.
Eh, a crypto bro story with another good ending.
She deserves better. As a crypto bro you deserve worse.
Rule one: Only gamble with money you’re okay with losing.
You went all in, blind. Real r/wallstreetbets material.
Good for her
Crypto is a scam.
Hang on, something doesn’t make sense. Solana is down 50% from a few months ago, it’s not zero. How have you lost all your money? Unless you bought options or CFD’s, then you lost your money to gambling and not crypto.
I’ve dabbled in crypto so I won’t judge you there. I had a running joke with my fiancée that “when my crypto take off” I’d buy her whatever. Then we laugh because to say that’s a longshot is an understatement.
Anything I ever threw into crypto was pocket change, same way I would if I went to the casino tonight. You taking money for a big event and throwing it into an unknown thing is not only a fuckup, but it’s extremely irresponsible. I wish you the best, but how can she trust you if you’re doing shit like this?
> I figured, why not throw 5k into those coins? Make a quick buck, surprise Jess with a fancier honeymoon. I didn’t tell her, cause I wanted it to be a surprise.
> Big mistake. i lost everything in the first few weeks. My 10k was gone.
You didn’t fuck-up by taking a gamble – you fucked-up by not setting reasonable limits AND not sticking to the limits you did set.
You didn’t lose 10k by investing 5k and it going south – that would limit your losses to 5k. And maybe fees on top, I guess. You clearly went “oh shit,” succumbed to Lost Cost Fallacy, and threw in your remaining 5k as well.
There will be plenty of people lecturing you about how stupid they think you are, that you shouldn’t take a risk like this, blah blah blah. I’m not that guy. But I will tell you to take better stock of what you could lose – not just the money, but the opportunities that money could purchase, and the trust and respect you could lose by incurring a large loss – before doing any further investing on your own. Consult a professional. Know your risks, weigh them carefully. Don’t invest (nor bet) more than you can afford to lose.
The dialogue in this story is just….a little too scripted. Your response to this rom com starter scene was to say “I’ll make it back,” seriously? This sounds like fiction and not good fiction.
Homie I wanna feel bad for you bc investing can go wrong quick, but crypto/meme coin investments are on another level of stupid. They appeal to edgy teenagers and people who are inherently stupid. Since you are of the age of marriage, I fear it might be the latter in your case.
It’s not at all hard to understand Jess’ decision here and I think most people would do the same thing she did.
no such thing as easy money
Degenerate behavior
Good riddance. She’s probably shocked that she spent four years with such a dumb shit.
Solana isn’t a meme coin and is up 26% in the last month. Sounds like a made up, bs story for some weird attention. If the girlfriend is in fact real, she/he/it can do better.
All crypto are the modern Ponzi scheme.
Either you agree, or you are part of the scam.
A lot of responses are dunking on you, but what spoke to me was your remorse.
You made a big mistake, doubled down, and discovered that you lost more than just the money.
Like others have said, there’s a good chance she may never reconcile with you; it’s only my experience, but I find trust, and breaches of truth, weigh more heavily with women than they do with men. Even if she does come back, this incident will be a fault line in your relationship.
My advice, for what little it’s worth, is to show that you’re making better choices and putting your life back on track, with or without her. Actions speak louder than words, and I imagine you’ve given her all the arguments and promises you can give. The worst outcome is that your life, albeit as a single man, is heading in the right direction, and the best is that she sees this incident as an aberration and comes back.
Stop beating yourself up about it. It was bad, but you’re not the first to make such a mistake or similar ones, and you’re suffering the consequences which are bad enough. Head up – things will improve
Fiancé = man
Fiancée = woman
Good for her dodged a bullet hard learnt lesson don’t fuck with people’s money don’t gamble ever it’s stupid and don’t ever take advice from the Internet that could have serious ramifications on your real life there’s no way to fix this you broke her trust over your own personal greed you didn’t need to make more money you just got greedy and in her eyes you love the money more then her and rather you agree or not actions speak louder then words edit also even if you had doubled your money she still would’ve been pissed you gambled your wedding savings imagine you went to Vegas and put it on red cause that pretty much exactly what you did
Lesson in life for future bride and grooms, never do wedding surprises for your fiancé that involve changing or adding something to your wedding!
OP – By the time you’ve heard of a new meme coin it’s too late.
The vast majority of new coins are rug pulls and have no real world use case.
You should start your own crypto coin and get people to invest in it (except for Jess).
OP gambled in the modern world’s most rigged casino and lost more than they could afford.
I hope you took this as a good life lesson.
Not a single em-dash. This could be a real story. RIP bro but take this into perspective – back when I was unmarried I lost around $50k when Celsius went under. When I broke the news, my fiance comforted and told me everything would be okay, and sadly enough, actually positioned herself between myself and our balcony.
A lot of us make dumb, financially altering mistakes. Make sure you learn from this and be more careful. Life is more fun when you’re not gambling your happiness.
“I had like 10k saved up for the wedding.” It’s your money, you allocate as you see fit.
“I didn’t wanna tell her I blew our wedding fund.” Hold up.
I’m so glad she left you.
Truly disgusting behavior. I hope you get better.
Addiction is a problem that could take years to recover from. She understands this. Get help, fix yourself, then maybe some day you can be trusted again. You will say to yourself, I just won’t do that again. But her trust in you probably won’t ever recover. I’m an old man now. There are many mistakes I made that caused me problems. I look back now and see that I recovered in a better place. In other words, I wouldn’t be in this good place if those things didn’t happen. I would be in a different place, maybe better, maybe not, who knows. Your future isn’t written yet. Make it a good one. I borrowed that last bit from somewhere.
Ya you’re an idiot sorry