I (M, 25) started a new job recently. One of my coworkers, let’s call him Dan, is in his early 40s and super chill. We were at a casual company picnic, and I met a woman who was sitting next to him. I assumed she was his mom, since she looked quite a bit older than him and had gray hair.
So I said, “It’s so sweet of your mom to come support you!”
She looked confused. Dan looked horrified.
That’s when he introduced her as his wife.
Turns out she’s 39 and just went gray early. She’s literally younger than Dan. She was so nice about it, but I’ve never wanted the ground to swallow me more in my life.
Every time I see her now, I die a little inside. And yes, my coworkers call me “Oedipus” behind my back now.
TL;DR: I met my coworker’s wife and assumed she was his mom. She’s not. She’s his younger wife. I have not known peace since.
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I’m not sure if this is better or worse than when a co worker of my husband’s thought I was his daughter. Lol
people think my wife is my daughter all the time. she is 2 years younger
Bro if you don’t know who someone is, just introduce yourself first and ask how they know each other. I’m feeling so much second hand embarrassment that I can literally feel myself flushing red haha – I’ve done similar things in the past and can never forget the feeling 🥲
At least your colleagues seem to not think it’s a huge deal, which says volumes about how good of a workplace culture you’ve got going on!
I’ll throw a related life pro tip out for the younger ones. Never, never, ever preemptively congratulate a pregnant looking woman for looking pregnant or bring it up proactively before she or someone you can trust confirms it. America’s obesity rate being what it is you are taking a serious risk no matter how certain you think you are.
Why the hell would you think that a man in his 40s would take his mom to a work picnic?
There’s no coming back from that one, sad to say.
Pro tip: never mention anyone being pregnant until you’ve had it explicitly verbally confirmed by that person or a trusted individual who was told.
you should have followed up with “when is the baby due?”
Dumbass. And I say that in the most comical way.
My sister married a guy about 10 years younger than she was. They went to a concert, and someone made a comment about how nice it was for him to take his mom.
My sister turned her blue laser eyes (I don’t know how, but they get more blue when she’s angry) on this guy, and told him in no uncertain terms, “I’m his wife.”
The guy and his wife moved to different seats shortly after that.
One time my wife and I were going to enroll our daughter in an art class. Admittedly I did look kinda young (I routinely got carded until my early 30s) and our daughter was at school rather than there with us, but we were both mid 20s at this point and the girl at the counter was about the same, and she assumed my wife was my mother trying to enroll -me- in the children’s camp. We were there for like ten minutes while she kept hinting like “you know this program is for 12 and under…?” “Yeah, that’s fine.” Stuff like that. Once it clicked, i was in hysterics and my wife was not happy.
Lesson learned. Never assume anything without knowing. There are plenty of age gap couples out there.
My 60s (M) coworker had a picture of a much younger woman with a small child on his desk. My brain said “is that your daughter and grandson?” My mouth fortunately said nothing-yep was his wife and son.
What’s done is done. Going forward now you know how to watch your compliments. So we consider this a win.
The opposite sorta happened to me and my dad. We were out and ran into his coworker and his coworker shook my hand and went “Wow you look so young, how’d you get stuck with this guy?!” Pointing at my dad. I laughed and told him I was his daughter and my mom was at home and I’d be sure to ask her for him. Dude went bright red and apologized so many times.
If it makes you feel any better when I was a fairly young teen I looked like I was in my early 20’s and my dad was still young (23 years older than me) and quite attractive (you don’t even want to know what my coworkers once said about him in front of me!).
We had a standing dad/daughter date to go to the best restaurants in town a few times a year. I’ve always been super close to my dad so these were very fun outings! But my mom would inevitably get an awkward phone call… 😆
But yeah, if you aren’t 100% sure its best just not to day anything at all and let them do the introductions!
This happened to me before. I was Dan… I was on a flight on my honeymoon. I was 25, my then wife was 37. Her and I go to order drinks on the plane with the stewardess. (Ex)wife goes first, gets wine. I tell the stewardess I want the same. Stewardess looks at my spouse and goes “Sure.. Along as it’s ok with your mom”
I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh, cry, or the plane to fall out of the sky… such a weird feeling. Fortunately, she and I can joke about it now even after our divorce. Our sons thinks it’s hilarious. The embarrassment may never go away but all you can do is laugh at it now. No changing it!
I’m dying a little inside for you.
My boss brought his baby into work, long hair, half tied up, wearing a cute little yellow outfit and I squealed “she’s so cuuuuute!!”
…it was a boy smh
I’m so sorry for how hard I laughed, I really am. I’m sure you’re horribly embarrassed, and I know it was just an honest mistake. In all fairness, though, I hope you’re more embarrassed than she is hurt. it can be hard on a woman’s self-esteem to go gray early, but I’m sure she knows you weren’t being malicious.
Hilarious. Great story and now you’re part of the crew
My wife is 10 years younger than me and looks 10 years younger than that. When we were still dating (her 28, me 38), I had a fancy work event and she needed a new dress to wear to it. We were in a big clothing store and she picked out a dress and went into a changing room. I was sitting in a chair, waiting, when this high school girl walked by and said, “I wish my dad would take ME shopping.” My wife got a big laugh out of that.