Disclaimer: This was an innocent misunderstanding and has since been resolved (I hope). I also won’t name the streamer to protect their privacy. So I’d been watching this streamer for a good few months, and was in her Discord group and we all chatted about the games she played and stuff. Anyway, the conversation gets to discussing whether we’d like it if some of us met IRL at an upcoming event. This is where the fuck up occurred. I was explaining that I’m actually quite shy IRL, and probably wouldn’t be comfortable meeting the streamer for real. Thing is, the way I explained it was to say “[streamer] and I have a parasocial relationship, I don’t think I’d be comfortable meeting her for real”. Now, I thought “parasocial” meant something like “penpals”, ie. you are internet friends but are strangers in reality. What I later discovered after being promptly banned from the chat group is that it means something more like “I believe I am in a romantic relationship with this person and am stalking her”. Cue a very awkward conversation when I contacted her to ask if I had been banned by mistake as I didn’t realise I had done anything wrong. I have now been unbanned and (I hope) she understands it was an innocent case of me being an idiot, but I think we’re even more unlikely to meet IRL now. I think the embarrassment would literally kill me.
ETA: I am a man, and while we are both adults, I am at least 10 years older than her, and thus she is very much not my type.
TL;DR: Accidentally implied to a popular streamer that I was stalking her and was a likely threat to her safety.
Comments
Also known as the Freudian slip.
You definitely used the word parasocial wrong, but I’m assuming she also doesn’t actually know what it means. It doesn’t have to be romantic, or stalkery. Parasocial just means that an individual perceives ANY kind of relationship with a public figure that does not exist. For instance, a viewer feeling like a streamer is their best friend, despite never having met or even had a proper conversation. It’s just a one-sided connection, which yes, can lead to obsessive behaviour patterns. But in most cases is rather innocent and just a side effect of being a public figure.
getting banned by a streamer must be peak 1st world problem
You’d hope that could be quickly cleared up! It’s hard to imagine anyone self-identifying as “parasocial” – by definition you would think that you’re in a romantic relationship and not understand it was one-sided! Glad you could sort it out.