I’m 26M living alone, while my older sister lives about 65 km (40 miles) away, and my parents live in another country. This incident actually happened last night.
Yesterday, I bought a new T-shirt from a boutique store and decided to take some pictures in my apartment building’s laundry room where the lighting was really good. I was moving around trying to find the right angles and spent about an hour editing the photos afterward. I struggle with body dysmorphia and OCD, so I don’t post photos publicly, but sometimes I take them just for myself—moments where I feel okay with how I look.
Unbeknownst to me, my phone was on “Do Not Disturb” the entire time. It was an accident. When I finally checked my phone an hour later, I saw multiple missed calls and a WhatsApp message from my sister saying our mother had been crying because I wasn’t answering.
I called my mother immediately, but she started yelling at me. She told me my sister had even called the police to request a wellness check because they thought something had happened to me. My sister was also on the verge of asking her friend to drive her all the way to my city to check on me. All this happened because I wasn’t picking up for an hour…
Apparently, my father and sister had also been monitoring my location through Find My, and they saw I was constantly moving around—because I was walking around the laundry room taking and editing photos.
To make matters worse, my mother showed me an awful photo of me from December 2024 that they were planning to give to the police. That photo immediately triggered me. At the end of all this, I told my mother and sister, “If I ever actually go missing, please show the police better pictures of me,” and sent them some of the photos I took yesterday and this past month in my building’s laundry room.
TL;DR: I spent an hour taking and editing photos in my building’s laundry room with “Do Not Disturb” on. My family panicked when I didn’t answer, called 999 for a wellness check, and tracked my movements, which were just me trying to get good angles. I told them that if something actually happens to me and they need to show police photos of me, to actually send ones where I don’t look hideous.
Comments
I’m not able to discern if that was a normal reaction from your family or not. Has this happened before?
An hour? Dude.
Can you disable location tracking? Thst’s some serious helicopter parenting.
lol if I was your mothers child she would die from stress. My text turnaround is like 1 hour to 2 business days
Tell them to send you a pizza with a note to phone home next time
you’re an adult and they couldn’t reach your for a few hours? what the everloving fuck? you didn’t fuck up, your family did.
That is some controlling shit. Tell them they need to chill. You’re allowed to be fuckin busy for a little while, what the hell?
Add their numbers to the vip list, so they’ll ring in any mode
You did not fuck up, and its not healthy for either you or your mother for her to freak out if you aren’t available to answer the phone at all times.
How to have that conversation with her is above my paygrade, but you can’t go through life feeling like she might call the police if you lose cell service or take a long shower.
An hour? Wtf. If someone called the police because I didn’t answer after a single hour I would be livid.
Dude, it’s time to cut their leash. My spouse is the only person I choose to share my location with or allow to track me unless I am on a hike/float/extended away and that person has my plan and knows when I plan on returning. There is no way I’d allow my parents to track me at their discretion.
Stop share your location with them
What if you were just taking a nap? Major over reaction
If you put your family into the favorite category on your phone, it will bypass the “Do not disturb” settings on an android phone.
You should do it more often to desensitize them of this absurd behavior. Absolutely bonkers, police won’t even do anything in that short of time. You have to be a child or missing a lot longer before they’re gonna search for you.
I’m seeing major red flags from your family… what you can discern from this is that they have uncontrolled anxiety, and you aren’t free to have your own life without them. To only be out of contact for an hour before a police wellness check is called in is INSANE!
Ive taken naps longer than that in which the phone gets muted. There are ways of whitelisting calls from certain numbers as well as ways of allowing numbers to go throigh in cwrtain situations. GPS location can move around even while sitting still. Unless you have some sort of weird history youve left out this is kind of an unnacceptable reaction and she needs counciling.
I thing you should block your location and tell your parents to stop it. However if you choose to keep going like this consoder whitelisting certain numbers to go through when DND is on, you can even choose if texts or calls are allowed. While i dont have crazy family, i do allow closest family members and occasionally will whitelist the work number, i also occasionally allow a double call within 15 minutes to go through thougj some telemarketers and debt collectors have abused this.
My mom has done this to me before. It’s one of many reasons I no longer really speak to her (not that you have to do that). Parents should not be controlling in this way, especially if you’re an adult. An hour is not even that long
Tip for everyone. If you call someone with an iPhone and it goes directly to voicemail which normally signals their phone is on DnD call them back immediately again and it will bypass the DnD. My mom has an iPhone and sometimes when I call and it goes directly to VM so I call her again immediately after and it will ring through. Then I have to tell her to take her phone off DnD. I also have a friend that keeps their phone on DnD after 10pm and again same thing first call will go to VM and second call will make their phone ring.
Jesus Christ. What happens if you take a long shower or go to the movies?
I don’t think location tracking is so accurate for moving around a room so that part is weird but so is freaking out from not answering the phone for an hour. This whole story is weird . If true your family needs to chill out.
Because you didn’t answer your phone for an hour?
Move further away.
you’re almost 30 this shit is weird bro
Your family sounds insufferable. I’m so sorry.
If my family were tracking me to that extent, I’d be furious.
You didn’t fuck up, wtf. You were living your life. People don’t have to be on their phone 24/7
serious gaps in the story here? either you’re previously known to have been a serious danger to yourself/others or your family has some concerning boundary issues for them to go off the rails over 1 hour of no contact. i’m thinking it’s the latter.
you’re 26, what happens if you oversleep/go out to the movies/nap/do general human activities that causes you to be away from your phone? hope you’re doing OK and assess all the input people are writing in your comments.
granted we’re just internet strangers but there’s no smoke without fire. i’m not even sure that the police will respond to a wellness check request for a 26 year old man who has been “missing” for an hour. you did NOT fuck up. find clarity.
You didn’t FU. Your family is nuts. An hour??? You’re a grown adult. An hour of not responding isn’t worrying. And your family still tracks your location? They sound insanely controlling. Unless you’re financially dependent on them, you need to set some major boundaries with your family. None of this is normal.
I’m always in DND but I have my mum and my husband and kids as dnd bypass. Cos I really don’t like people or phone calls or texts from workplaces.
I don’t think it’s a fuck yo but your family is quick to jump. They need to chill back unless you need that involvement in your life.
That is some serious enmeshment. Do you parents realize that you’re 26, not 6?
All of you should seek therapy
It was only an hour.
Your mother and sister need help.
Your an adult. Life happens. He’ll you could’ve been asleep.
They need a serious reality check
Your parents do not need to know where you are 24 hours a day. A couple hours of no contact and they pull that on you? They’d have no more contact ever. Get them off your find me app. Or get a new phone.
I’m sorry that your family likes drama.
Mine does too.
It sucks!
It helps to remain calm when they’re going off being ridiculous.
And to calmly point out that you’re just doing normal every day things and they are the ones being overly dramatic.
My phone was on vibrate because I didn’t want it ringing at work.
When I went to leave work, I put my phone inside my purse.
Picked up the kids.
Went home and put my purse by the front door (completely forgetting about my cell phone) and I went into the kitchen to make dinner while the kids started their homework in other rooms.
Dinners almost ready when one of my kids comes into the kitchen holding up their phone and saying:
Why is Auntie calling me??
I’m like… I don’t know? I’m making dinner. Why don’t you answer it and find out LOL!
My kid says Hello?
My sister starts yelling: What’s Wrong?!! WHERE is your mother??!!!
They just hand the phone to me cuz she’s hysterical.
Apparently they’ve been calling me and I never answered the phone.
And???
So???
I calmly explain that my phone was still in my purse on vibrate and that I’ve been busy making dinner.
Didn’t know they’ve been trying to call me.
She’s still frantic and yelling: WHAT IF THERE WAS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY??!!
She hung up on me when I calmly said in a robotic voice:
“If you are experiencing a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 9 1 1
LOL some people just have over active imaginations and constantly want drama in their lives for no reason other than to feel important.
> I told my mother and sister, “If I ever actually go missing, please show the police better pictures of me,”
lol nice
Your family overreacted for sure. Initially I thought you were gone for a full day or something (not that that would change the fact that they overreacted). But only for an hour… dude… and they still track your location at 26. I think you might want to reconsider your boundaries with your family.
When I was younger… like 18 and fresh out on my own, my parents were like that but now they check Find My just to make sure it updated because then they know I’m alive… sometimes I get a “you alive?” text too… but damn, an hour? Not the end of the world… we’re adults, we’re busy… 😂
Your family is weird as hell. But, set up your do not disturb to allow calls from favourite contacts, and add them. At least, you won’t have to deal with this issue again.
Good grief! That’s a bit of an overreaction!
This is not your fuck up.
You’re 26 years old; your family does not need to be able to get in touch with you within an hour.
Turn off location sharing, tell them to pull their heads out of their asses, get some therapy to help you with your personal issues as well to learn how to set boundaries with people like this and to learn how to recover from being raised in a family like this.
You can make exceptions to the Do Not Disturb settings to allow specific contacts to get through, or to allow a repeat caller twice in 15 minutes to get though
Also your family seems nuts
Jesus. They must get really crazy when you go to the movies. “YOU DIDN’T ANSWER FOR OVER TWO HOURS!”
I was gonna say there’s a special edit set you can do to DND to allow certain calls but hell nah! They’re the ones who are super messed up, not you. They are unhealthy as all hell and are way too over the top. 1 hour alone enough to send them over the edge? AND THEY HAVE LOCATION TRACKER?! That is too much.
You’re 26 and your parents track your every move 24/7? So you’re obligated to carry your phone everywhere just in case your mother calls?
Even when I was abroad as a teen my parents didn’t expect me to respond to calls all day.
Dude i get your parents can get worried if you dont reply but they need to chill tf out lol
Imagine falling asleep early one night and waking up with cops around you
You didn’t fuck up, your family is being overly controlling and borderline abusive. You’re an adult they can’t call emergency services because you didn’t answer your phone for an hour
I wasn’t aware that Find My can show movement around a room.
I dont even have to read this.
You are under ZERO obligation to answer your phone or texts. Zero.
You are an adult with a life.
Bro i lost a job cuz iphone silences your alarm if you use the button on the side… i mean technically cat had its paw in it but still ffs what a design flaw….
I thought maybe a week or possibly a day or two, but an hour you were un reachable and they acted like this??? Seriously??
You are 26 years old. There is no way that being incommunicado for ONE HOUR should cause a meltdown and worry of such magnitude. Your family is certifiably nuts. You need to turn off location tracking and tell them to get a grip on reality. Honestly, I’m not sure how they thought something was wrong just because you were checks notes moving around in your laundry room at your apartment. Did they think someone murdered you in the laundry room and decided to stick around to play ping pong with your phone? It doesn’t make any sense at all.
And for Pete’s sake, if you really did go missing, I don’t think you’d care which pictures they showed as long as you were found quickly and in good health. FFS
Your family needs therapy
Your family is insane.
lol at sending her the better photos. Remove your location thingy. Your family is dramatic asf
ok. no offence, but what the hell. ONE HOUR????? you didn’t fck up at all, but your mom seriously needs to loosen the apron strings.. before you cut them
seriously. this is not ok. SERIOUSLY. i’m not kidding. this is NOT ok.
When I first moved into my house alone, my ma called and texted me a few times before eventually calling over to my house to check on me. This happened over the span of 2 days, and she knocked on the door even though she had a key for emergencies to get in, she understood after that how little attention I pay to my phone. Calling the police after an hour is ridiculous
My mom used to over react like this even so far that when i finally noticed the missed calls she was driving to my place that was ober 100 km away.
You need to stop responding to their obsession, you’re an adult, I would disable the tracking unless you’re going out with someone you’re not sure of, you can text a temporary tracking link.
This isn’t a tifu this is you being manipulated and infantilized by your family.
I don’t understand how this is a fuck up. It’s not like you did anything wrong and I hope you are aware of that. I think it’s bizarre your parents are still treating you like a little kid despite your age.
You’re 26. You can be off the radar for multiple days, not just hours. Lol
Sorry, what? First, not answering your phone for a single hour should be 100% ok. That’s super weird. If it was me, I could’ve been taking a nap or busy with something! (I have a child). And you live alone, it’s not like you weren’t coming home or something.
Second, for everyone to then be looking at your location — I’m kinda questioning how they could see you moving around your place, like what kind of phones do yall have?? Even with my iPhone 13 no one can see me move that much around my house (room to room)). And with that, that’s super controlling. You’re a grown adult, limit who needs to have access to seeing your location.
This is not a TIFU you did nothing wrong your mother is just over controlling and doesn’t understand boundaries.
You are a grown adult, there is no reason for your parents who don’t even live in the same country as you to be this controlling. Set some boundaries