I recently moved back home temporarily to save money while looking for a new apartment. Things have been better lately – I finally got a little ahead financially after months of scraping by. So I decided to treat myself. Nothing too wild, just some upgrades to my setup, a couple new clothes, and… okay, I also ordered a personal toy from a site I probably should’ve double-checked the packaging on.
Here’s the thing: I forgot that even though I’ve been using my name and account for deliveries, most packages still get dropped off at the front door, and my mom usually brings them in. I also forgot that I used a discount code that came with one of those promotional flyers that has… let’s say… very explicit branding.
Anyway, I’m at work, and she texts me:
Mom: “Your package came. Is this a joke?”
She attached a photo of a very bright, very obvious box with the company name all over it. My stomach dropped. I told her to just put it in my room and I’d explain later, but she didn’t reply. When I got home, the package was in the garage. On a chair. With a post-it note that said, “This isn’t the kind of stuff I want to find on the porch.”
I tried to play it off, but she brought it up during dinner. I ended up mumbling something about self-care and privacy. She said, “Next time, use a PO Box or be less bold.” I still can’t make eye contact.
TL;DR: Ordered a “grown-up” item online without checking for discreet shipping. My mom intercepted it, and I now want to evaporate into the earth.
Comments
Your mum is very childish to be honest.
Dude I’m crashing out lol I’m either moving across the country or crashing out. Hope this helps🤗
Call out the company.
This shit could get people killed in less accepting communities.
You’re an adult, you bought something for yourself, your mom needs to chill or order herself something as well
Mom will get over it. NFU
Take her out for a nice lunch to smooth things over since you are currently her guest.
If she’s worried that the neighbors will think that it belongs to Mom you can offer to post a sign on the door:
“Please don’t think the dildo that was delivered was for my mom, insert mom’s name. It was for my pleasure and mine alone. “
Time to find a new mom
It’s sad your parents are so sheltered to the effect that you, yourself can’t even type the words sex toy in the title, let alone in the post. I hope you can get your own place someday for your own privacy.
Banished to the naughty chair in the garage!!! That’s hilarious.
Mom shouldn’t be so prudish but it’s her house and her solutions were reasonable.
Knowing too much about your child’s sex life can be a little scarring. So yeah… next time you order the jumbo XXL anal intruder with feathery tickler. Make sure it’s a plain paper package or PO box.
Bad Dragon, huh?
Jk. Your mom sucks. She didn’t have to embarrass you like that.
Incredibly uncaring and disgusting for a mother to treat her child’s sexuality this way. She is wrong and you did nothing to deserve this treatment