So today I flew out for a trip and, in an effort to save money, I packed everything into one checked bag to dodge those ridiculous luggage fees. I mean, I sat on this thing to get it zipped. It was a masterpiece of overpacking.
Well. Apparently, the zipper didn’t appreciate the pressure, because when my bag came down the baggage claim carousel, it had given up on life. One of the pockets had burst open. And its contents? Spread out right next to my suitcase like a sad little display of personal hygiene and… other priorities.
There, proudly rotating around the carousel for all to see:
🧴 Shampoo
🧴 Conditioner
🪮 A comb
🍆 A veiny, vibrating dildo with balls.
Just chilling. Right next to families, businessmen, probably someone’s grandma. I froze. A child pointed. I died inside.
Needless to say, I retrieved everything with the grace of a raccoon caught in the act and fled the airport.
TL;DR: Tried to save money on baggage fees, overstuffed my suitcase, zipper broke, and my dildo made a public appearance at baggage claim.
Comments
I am cracking up. Thank you
Just curious as to why you chose to take something so, um, detailed on your trip? I mean, one usually has a smaller travel size of shampoo, conditioner, deodorant? So, maybe a more conveniently packable size for next time?
Good on you for bringing personal pleasure items. Stand proud.
this is why I pack mine inside a boot when I travel. Sandwiched in between balled up socks. Saves space and face!
Did AI write this for you?
That’s why I pack a Hitachi Magic Wand, so all of us can just pretend it isn’t what it is.
>Nine times out of ten it’s an electric razor, but every once in a while…
>
>it’s a dildo. Of course it’s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo… always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
This reminds of that video at the airport security where the children pulled a prank on their mother with a huge sex toy. Hilarious
Good lord…why a huge lifelike dildo? Why not just a small discreet vibrator?
What an awful embarrassing way to learn a lesson about packing.
“Ugh, MEN! They’re only ever thinking about one thing!”
Had you declared it? Lol
My sister-in-law went on a vacation. Set her suitcase down in the hotel lobby. It started walking across the floor because something shifted and turned on her vibrator.
Pic or it didn’t happen
Pelican Air case. Pack it and never worry about anything popping out.
In the future, just tell them it is your husband or partner remaining. You always carry the ashes with unique bottle to feel super close…
But you’re still “Social justice as fuck” right?
You naughty girl~ sometimes I envy people like you, I wouldn’t even dare to travel with some spicy underwear so… yeah… boldness!
Respect
Uhuh….
If you didn’t check it. Why did it go on the carousel?
Last week coming back from a long trip involving work and some holiday I learned the hard way that apparently rechargable vibrators and a half-finished pair of knit socks in a carryon bag set off the “enhanced search” at the airport. The woman took my bag aside and was taking things out and asking me what they were and then she gets to the canvas bag inside a plastic bag that I used to carry my vibrators and I quickly said “that’s personal items” and she opens the bag, sticks her hand in, her eyes go wide….like they weren’t anatomical or anything but they were clearly sex toys. And I’m sure I’m not the only one whose taken sex toys through airport security at that airport but she was quite shocked and we both looked pretty uncomfortable. She was very quick searching the rest of my bag and then finally let me go, but I was mortified and wanted to sink into a puddle.
The one saving grace was that while I was going through security with some of my coworkers they had all headed to the other side of security and were waiting for me upstairs by the coffee and so none of them saw what happened. When I saw my bag get pulled aside I told them to go ahead and I would meet them and I’m very glad that they did. Otherwise that would’ve been so much worse.
(Between fieldwork, a brief holiday, and more work travel I was gone 6 weeks total and I was not gonna go that long without getting off. Like it wasn’t as graphic as OP but definitely recognizable as sex toys and I had to put them in my carry-on because of the rechargeable batteries)
Why not put it in a bag/case within your suitcase. Like I’m all for pleasure but not only from a ‘people might see it’ pov, the last thing i want is my toiletries and something i put up myself mingling in my bag.
Lmao, mortifying! Your vibe stole the show, iconic airport chaos!
Between the masterpiece of over packing, it giving up on life and the raccoon bit, I was laughing so hard!!
Maybe don’t pack sex toys for a trip?