TIFU by playing with a toy horn

Believe it or not, it doesn’t wind up in my ass.

Obligatory “this did not actually happen today” comment. It happened a while back when I was still in high school. I was sitting in my German class. I had just gotten back from lunch and I was one of the only kids in the room. I noticed a toy horn sitting atop a nearby cabinet.

This horn had a ball on the end of it, and when you squeezed it, it made a loud noise. For whatever reason, I wound up squeezing it when the horn was pressed against my hand. This changed the pitch.

All of a sudden, I was fascinated. Like I was a scientist who had just encountered a fascinating phenomenon. I needed to conduct more experiments. So I placed the horn against my forehead and squeezed. Different pitch! Fascinating! I tried my cheek. Yet another pitch! Remarkable!

Then I pressed it against my ear.

Oops.

Turns out blowing a horn directly into your ear, even if it’s a toy one, is a really bad idea. That shit was the loudest thing I ever heard. So loud it made me deaf in one ear.

This story has a happy ending, though. The deafness was only temporary. But I was scared shitless the whole time because I was convinced I’d never get it back.

Now I know some of you are thinking about putting a toy horn up your ass. DON’T. Not because I’ve done it, but because it’s obviously a bad idea.

TL;DR my fascination with a toy horn made me temporarily deaf in one ear.