This happened yesterday. To preface this, I struggle with body dysmorphia which gives me some pretty bad self esteem issues. Lately my self esteem has been very low and I’ve really struggled to feel attractive for about a year or so now due to gaining weight from antidepressants. I’m told that I’m conventionally attractive by people, but I really struggle to see it myself.
I came across a couple looks maxxing subreddits where I saw posts of people asking for advice on how to look better. I had only ever heard of these in passing so I wasn’t very informed of what goes on there. The few posts that I clicked on had some genuine advice from people and everyone seemed to be acting decent, so I decided to make a post myself asking for advice. I even found a smaller sub for people that wear alternative styles and decided to post there since I’m into goth style and have a lot of tattoos and piercings. I mainly asked for weight loss tips and piercing suggestions. I was mostly just expecting things like makeup tips, change in hair style, etc. based off what I saw.
I didn’t check my phone for a couple hours and came back to a shitshow. I guess my post really blew up and I had 80+ comments. Some people were nice, only about 5 gave actual advice, the rest were absolutely horrendous. I had people calling me repulsive, was told that I’m not dateable, and had multiple comments calling me fat and telling me to lose weight even though I didn’t even post a picture with my body in it. It was basically insult after insult. I had people rating me even though I didn’t ask and had someone even directly message me to call me a “4 at best with makeup”. I also had a good couple people say I was looking for attention which I guess I should take as a compliment?
I ended up taking all of my piercings out and crying my eyes out over my appearance. I eventually spilled the beans to my boyfriend after he asked me what was wrong and he asked why I would even post in a sub like that. Apparently he knew a lot more about them than me and knew how toxic they could get. I eventually calmed down and put my piercings back in after he convinced me that I shouldn’t listen to strangers on the internet insulting me from anonymous pages.
I ended up deleting the post. I now have a bruised ego and know not to post my face on Reddit.
TLDR; decided to post myself on a looks maxxing sub for appearance advice because I struggle with my self esteem. My post blew up and I got absolutely roasted and insulted by a lot of people. I ended up deleting the post and now have a severely bruised ego
Comments
It is easy to cast stones through the internet, if you want real opinions ask your close friends, parents, familial members etc. Do not EVER trust randoms on the internet with image or anything sensitive where they could tip you the other way for funsies, it happens all to often. Most of the repeat posters there live on murdering people with words.
Take some stock in the good things you do and then reasses what you are looking to fix. Try to burn those comments out of your mind, some of them MIGHT be true. But to the degree of burning you down? Nah. Like for instance if someone was too tall and I said “Well holy shit you probably have to duck to get into rooms, no one is as going to be able to kiss you, you can’t find clothes that fit you right because of how tall you are” versus “You are pretty tall, maybe try to look for a tailor to get some clothes to fit you properly” etc. See the difference?
Those subs are insane. I’m sorry. ❤️
On the bright side, you dodged the bullet of getting into “looks maxxing” pretty quickly. All those people being cruel to you there didn’t get that privilege, and most likely hate themselves. It’s not healthy.
So, you post on reddit, get redditted, and you say “You know what’s going to help? If I post on reddit about it!”
You need to put down social media for a while.
You wanted confidence and you went to the worst possible sub in existence 🤦♂️
It seems like you got a nice understanding Boyfriend. That’s what counts. Some people want to feel better by taking other down.
WTF is “maxxing”?
I had a post deleted because I had the audacity to tell a girl. I thought she looked pretty just the way she was. Those subs are toxic as hell. Fuck them. Don’t listen to what they say. Just be you. Because you’re perfect the way you are
Lol most of these people that posted could probably not even approach a woman IRL…. Listen to ur bf and stop posting in these subs
Assholes shit on everyone, and hiding behind a screen makes a lot of people sphincters. They’re just trying to one-up the other 12 year olds on the sub. Fuck ’em.
I thought that stuff was a joke? Its real? People do that? I’m sorry this happened
I’m genuinely glad that, at the end of the day, you actually got actual reassurance from not just a random stranger, but your boyfriend ^^
Wish you the best and believe in yourself !
https://youtu.be/GA3-AhAMS8U?si=ynE1yJyOLBkrlgcn
Internet comment etiquette did an episode on rate me type subreddits. It’s worth a watch given what your experienced
I like to go into those subs and compliment people until they ban me for a few days.
After the November 2024 election, there was a surge in bots posting super negative, needlessly cruel shit on literally every subreddit that I’m a part of. Amping up critique and reducing emotional safety is a way to prime a population for take over and deep oppression. I would wager that what you experienced is a part of that phenomenon. And I’m sorry they did that to you.
Never take a friend for objective advice was the fuckup
I guess it’s stooping to their level with the ratings but…don’t be sad about being called a 4 by a bunch of 0.5s, 1s and 2s 😂
Just so we’re all clear, the people in those subs are typically angry and mentally unwell. They don’t represent the average person. It’s like going into a nest of particularly aggravated wasps to ask if they’re interested in having a heartfelt conversation. You can absolutely safely disregard everything nasty they said to you, as their perspective on reality is distorted beyond recognition. They’re literally delusional, without exaggeration.
Never take criticism from somebody that you wouldn’t go to for advice. Assholes on the Internet are not good sources of advice
I honestly think books like “The Game” have ruined the Internet for attractive women.
What you experienced sounds like negging, an attempt to belittle you so you feel the need to “earn” their praise. It’s manipulation, so just ignore it all as best you can.
Howtolooksmax is the most vile cesspool of toxicity I’ve ever come across. I never posted or followed but it was suggested by Reddit and I saw a few posts and was appalled at the things people were suggesting to perfectly beautiful people. I blocked the sub after that.
I’m sorry for what you went through, those people are disgraceful
You might want to try r/toastme because they aren’t really allowed to be cruel, and they will probably point out your best features. Focusing on those will actually help you “max” your looks. Same with r/loseit which will help you lose weight or tone up or generally eat healthier to some degree.
I saw a drop dead beautiful girl get roasted on a maxxing post because her eyes had a ‘negative canthal tilt’
just lmao.