I was so ashamed of being Chinese in middle school I straight up lied to my friends and told them I was Cantonese. The problem is, I had both Cantonese and Chinese friends at the time. The only reason I passed to my Cantonese friends was because I forced myself to learn Cantonese. Although I am only able to understand not speak. When I’m with my Chinese friends I have to pretend I don’t understand Chinese at all, which is difficult and awkward when I’m with their family. It’s turning into a real pain. I’m still friends with some of these people in high school now, and I know that I’m going to blow it someday. I’ve lied about this for two years.
TL;DR I pretended to be Cantonese to my friends for two years while I am actually Chinese. Should I consider coming out to them eventually? (Ik this probably isn’t the best place to post but I rlly need some help)
Comments
Can I ask why you’re ashamed? I’m Hispanic and I used to be so ashamed, so I kinda get it.
You’re probably gonna have to abandon the whole friend group and start again with new people.
They’re not going to believe you when you “come out”. Then, if you are able to convince them that it’s the truth, they’re going to be really creeped out and it’s going to change the way they treat you; if they still talk to you at all.
This is why lying is bad. You needed to learn this lesson apparently, and you chose a really shitty way to learn it.
Tbh just tell them the truth. When you were younger you were ashamed so you pretended to be someone you’re not. Tell them you care for them so you wanted to come clean now. Apologize for misleading them and hope that you can keep moving forward as friends.
Everyone makes a mistake now and then; come clean and you’ll feel much better about everything and you’ll be much less stressed!
It’ll be awkward to do, but if they’re good friends of yours, they should be able to accept your FU. It’ll only get harder to do the longer you wait and could cause you to stop being friends with them after HS because of the stress and difficulty of keeping up the charade. I don’t know your friends, but hopefully they just think it’s funny. Be ready to have jokes made about it/you for the rest of your life with them!
Isn’t Cantonese a type of Chinese? From Guangzhou?
Honestly, you’re going to have to come clean. These people matter to you and I’m sure it’s hurting you to be lying to them. Not everyone is going to be okay with you afterwards. Being honest about why you did it and why you regret it will help.
The important thing about realising you’re in a hole is to stop digging. Good luck.
Lamo if you think anyone can tell the difference.
OPs full of crap. Cantonese are Chinese. They’re are a Chinese dialect, not a race unto themselves.
Is this written by a bot? You’re Chinese either way?
..is Cantonese NOT Chinese?
Bot post. Same thing posted 4 times in a row, no prior history, post doesn’t even make sense.
But….Cantonese is a dialect of Chinese…..like Mandarin is a dialect of Chinese…..I….was this post written by a bot?
> I was so ashamed of being Chinese in middle school I straight up lied to my friends and told them I was Cantonese.
This first sentence is already offensive as Cantonese are Chinese.