My husband (27M) and I (30M) have had a rough year so far. He’s always kept his mental health under control but things took a turn around the new year and he’s been in and out of the psych ward ever since then. Naturally between all the change and stress our sex life has cooled off. Most of our focus has been on spending time together in nature or otherwise and just trying to bring him back to center and get back in sync as a couple.
This morning we were in bed and things started to heat up for the first time ever since he was discharged following a difficult weeks-long inpatient stay. I got on top of him and started kissing away while pinning his arms down. While pinning his arms down I guess I got carried away because I just… said to him “You escaped the ward just to get restrained again, huh?” I guess I thought it sounded hot in the heat of the moment. But he suddenly lost his composure and looked like he was about to cry.
We talked it out and he said that getting physically restrained in the psych ward while he was losing grip on reality was one of the most traumatic experiences of his life. He is still shaken up from my comment which is not a good sign—acute stress could set off another episode. Yep, bad call on my part…
TLDR: Inadvertently killed the mood because I thought it would be hot to drop a “spicy” line during sex that played off my husband’s trauma.
Comments
Yikes
Why would you say that?
fucking hilarious line, OP
Bruh
oooffff rule of thumb, don’t talk about potentially triggering/sensitive things in the bedroom… Especially if you’ve been fully aware/there for them while KNOWING it’s a sensitive thing, that makes the slip way worse since you know it’s something they’ve been struggling with. and the first time y’all have been able to been intimate since they finally felt stable enough to? Huge fuck up OP. Enjoy the continued lack of intimacy due to your extremely insensitive actions.
This is the exact kind of fucked up that would get me to laugh, but my partner knows better than to “throw things in the dark.” At some points I like humor, other times I need to grieve. Please take this as a lesson.
I see both sides here. I love dirty talk in bed and I understand that it’s the heat of the moment theatrics or verbage. But I also see that submissive or bondage references can trigger some people.
You seem understanding and a loving partner. You will work thru this .
Damn, I LOL’d at that!
Badum tssss
jesus christ, is this even real?
are you that careless, or just a shitty person.
You didn’t ask if you were the asshole, but you were.
The f is wrong with you?
Ya dun goofed.
Hey OP: What the fuck?