Went to the park with my son (he’s almost 2)as he loves ducks (animals in general) thought the wife could be free of him for a while as he was being quite tough today.
Was there for about an hour, as I was leave with him I noticed one of his shoes were missing. I had a look and it turns out he threw his shoe or lost his shoe by the ducks.
I place him in his pram and told someone to look after him as I jumped over the fence. Now the fence is not sharp but does have some spikes sticking out, as I jumped I slipped, I’m unsure if I got caught but I was basically one leg out one leg in and landed on my testicle.
I immediately knew I messed up pretty bad as I felt wet downstairs so I was under the assumption I was bleeding and it felt like I had been kicked in the balls, guys know when you get hit there you for some reason get stomach pain which I had.
Proceeded to get the shoe pushed the pram to my in laws house which is close by.
Went upstairs and had a look and when I pulled down my pants I noticed blood every where, turns out I must’ve landed in the middle of my scrotum and it essentially ripped the whole skin off the right testicle as I saw it bare and white.
Rushed to the hospital but before I went in I had to pee, I took a proper look at my testicle and noticed not only did the scrotum rip but I had somehow cut a part of my testicle.
Anways staff at NHS patched me up and I’m waiting to be seen by a doctor, I assume this will be in the morning as its 1am.
9/10 pain wouldn’t recommend.
TL;DR – jumped over a fence landed on the spiky bit ripped my scrotum.
Comments
https://preview.redd.it/kf78m2sa3mqf1.png?width=1440&format=png&auto=webp&s=af2540e9dc22b46556187faf514a83aed7cce562
Image of spiky part for reference.
Oh Duck!!!
Damn, bro saw his nut sans sack.
I wish you the best recovery.
I don’t have a scrotum… Eeeeesh!!!!
My man, there are better ways to get a vasectomy…
Tifu by having eyes
I can’t even read your post, because I don’t think I can take it, but I wanted to at least comment that I’m so sorry my dude.
i’ve never been so grateful for the lack of something i don’t have…
My man, you’re lucky you didn’t impale your taint.
Welp… Logging off guys. Good night
I’m in pain just reading about it. Seeing the picture made it worse.
The good news is you’re already a dad. I think we all can learn a valuable lesson from this, and the effects of pointy metal things on the family jewels
Oof, when I was a kid I did almost eh exact same thing except I got my thigh like an inch away. My pants caught and then I fell and broke my arm.
This guy👆👆👆, right here, ripped his scrotum
Ouch.
Man, jumping that fence takes balls.
On the flip side, chicks digs scars.
Bro the really sucks but at least you have peace of mind knowing that they already did their job. (if you weren’t planning on more)
That’s every man’s nightmare. When I was a kid way before puberty I was up on a sink and slipped and it was enough to rip it. Pretty sure everything works fine but I don’t have any kids so who knows lolllll.
Best of luck on a speedy recovery. Next time leave the shoe
My gym teacher from middle school had an experience like this. Except he completely severed one of his testes in the process.
Edit: grammar
I was wondering why you’d jump the fence instead of walking around it, so the photo was good for clarification. Good luck repairing the family jewels, yikes.
I have seen this before, some of the meat was left on the fence. I couldn’t imagine the pain
Its WHITE?!
Looks funny in cartoons, but it’s a nightmare to plenty of men (and perhaps women).
Speedy recovery wishes bro. I felt that pain just reading this. That stomach pain is insane bruh it feels like your soul leaves your body anytime you get any pain to the nutsack
Sorry, but as a dad, I got stuck on the beginning of your post, you took your kid to the park just to get him away from your wife for a bit? Karma?
we didn’t need that many details bro
Ok, you win this sub forever. Good fucking god.
I winced at the title. I knew the fence would be the issue as the story went on. I did not expect the ability to see the testes sans scrotum. And the photo is enough clarity to show why one would think it was safe to go over, only to find out how very wrong you are…
Wishing for a speedy recovery, and knowing you’ll be able to use this experience to teach your son why it’s important to be VERY careful when going over fences…
Nothing wrong with airing out the boys
Please I’m in pain just from reading it
Just lose the shoe. Not worth risking your balls climbing that fence.
Next time he tosses a shoe to the ducks remember this.
Just chiming into say j didn’t even read anything from the title and it made me internally scream and clench my legs.
OMG. Every man screams in agony with you. Heal well my dude
Harden up mate. /s
Former All Black captain Buck Shelford had his scrotum ripped open, during a game, by a French boot. He had it stitched up on the sideline, and played on, before being concussed near the end. As a result of the concussion, he has no memory of the game.
I can’t breathe holy f#ck I hope you get better soon
Knew a kid that was a local phenom skater back in the day when I was in highschool that credit carded himself doing a front side flip resulting in him losing a testicle.
Shit was gnarly. Had to go to a payphone nearby to call 911… I miss the 90s.
Ripped mine too when I was 11, got into a go kart accident and was rushed to the E.R, got 7 stitches. Thing is the injury hurt a lot but the numbing shots they used were excruciating..easily the worst pain I’ve ever felt, my dad told me he could hear me screaming down the hall lol
https://preview.redd.it/25ucy8nmsmqf1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=d64336c77879801bcc7701ccb21bd387b0834241
Hope they have a good urologist on call at NHS
Buck Shelford is a New Zealand rugby player. In 1986 the All Blacks were playing in France, roughly 20 minutes into the match, he was caught at the bottom of a rather aggressive ruck, and a French boot kicked his groin, ripping his scrotum and leaving one testicle hanging free. He also lost four teeth in the process. After discovering the injury to his scrotum, he calmly asked the physiotherapist to stitch up the tear and returned to the field before a blow to his head left him concussed.
Why does this remind me of that one scene from The Legend of Awesomest Maximus where Testiclees gets kicked in the balls real hard?
You walked home AND took a piss first?!
Feel better dude.
Hey man. Dont do that. And dont tell me about it.
This makes me glad I don’t have balls
Omg I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Hope the hospital can help you and you’ll have a fast recovery.
Oh my god I don’t even have them bits, but my stomach really hurts now
My reaction the whole time I was reading this
Oof
The biggest flex is the OP labelling this fuckup as just a S or a minor inconvenience.Somethong half of it would be too traumatic and a L for me lol
Well, can’t say that I expected to read something like that early in the morning… I hope that the recovery goes well.
If this is real holy fuck. I’ve climbed over quite a few spiky fences too (for skateboarding reasons). Now i might actually be scared of em
This is not what I expected to read while taking my morning shit.
Guy pops his sack open and reddit asking about shoes
I’m so sorry my dude. You have the biggest balls for posting this.
OMG
I don’t even have a scrotum and I still automatically crossed me legs and winced as I felt your pain
Dude I started gagging halfway into the story… I hope you are well now.
andy bernard ahh
That’s nuts, OP.
Bye bye babies
When I was about 6 years old I used to climb on a iron spiked fence in order to get on a neighbors garage roof. The fence was made of lengths of square iron rods that came to a point at the top set about 8 inches apart. One day I climbed on the fence and as I started to pull myself up on the garage I lost my footing and fell onto the fence with a leg on each side. I ended up with one spike just in front of my junk and another almost between my ass cheeks. I was completely untouched but never went on that garage roof again. To this day when I think about that that experience my asshole puckers up tight.
Bruh just leave the shoe next time
https://preview.redd.it/8oqoj6uubrqf1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a65b45579a8d8a982fde25176c82a6c49b1e21d
Further update, I have been discharged and am recovering
Im having something similar to remove a cyst in October but in involves a surgeon and not a fence
I definitely wanna see the pics/video? I had a traumatic experience as a teenager
Meatball down my leg
Me putting myself in your shoes
Busted a nut
I felt that
Don’t.
Every man across the world winced when this happened. I’m in pain from just reading this! Hope all goes well in your recovery.
https://i.redd.it/gsz0uxto8sqf1.gif
What a terrible day to be literate.
I am twiching in bed just imaginig the picture. What a bad way to see your bare balls.
Reminded me of a story my grandpa told my brother and I when we were little. Him amd a couple friends were chasing a kid around the school yard, back when it was a one room school house in the middle of nowhere USA. Kid climbed up up what they were using as a flag pole. When the teacher came out and told him to come down, he slid down and slit his sack open on the rope tie off.
My wife and I are happy with two kids and don’t want more but I don’t think this is the right way to manage that problem.
Update on this yet ?
Can’t even read…
Ouch that story had me wincing the whole way through. Glad you got patched up at the hospital definitely sounds like a lesson learned the hard way moment. Hope you heal up quickly, mate!
ask the nurse for extra gauze and medical tape when you leave. change dressings twice daily and keep it dry for at least a week. helps prevent infection and speeds healing significantly
If I ripped open my nut sac by jumping a sharp, metal fence; I’d be more concerned about seeing my vas deferens
omg im praying for the boys and you man!
Screaming. 😱
do NOT even think about labeling something like this a small fu again 💔
Maybe my twisted testicle incident doesn’t seem as bad as it was made out to by my doctor.. I felt mine attempt to retreat as I read this.
You need to keep the shoe forever.
Well at least you reproduced before almost winning a Darwin award
That was a very tough read!
https://preview.redd.it/oh5i48i6zuqf1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5aae4724b3e5a7e1e110eb9750ca90d35425c2f
https://preview.redd.it/odht6kq7zuqf1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47e67c2bad21585f001cc73f6dfdefe4b609709b
The way I was just grabbing my hair and cringing while I read this. I can’t imagine how you were able to walk home and take a piss before freaking the fuck out. That takes an insane amount of calm.
I didn’t read this, I just wanted to say that I was scrolling through my feed, saw the title, and went “AAAUUGGhHHNOOOOO-GUHHHWHYYYY” out loud, and I’m not even a dude. Not gonna read it after I post this comment, either… Just .. whatever happened… So sorry, dude.
I think every man here physically cringed at this story myself included. BRO IS LUCKY!! He didnt full blown stabbed his sack and lost a ball.
What an absolute unit to be able to walk his kid home after tearing his balls open
This was so difficult to read ouch. Hope you get well soon
A cut nut.