Here I am in emergency department with a eyepatch. The story I told medical staff was a slight lie, I promise to tell you fellow redditors the truth of how this dunce ended up here.
Rewind 5 hours ago (it’s been a lovely night) when I had a lower eyelid itch, so like the dexterous human being I am, well practiced in safe eye rubs, I misjudged entirely and jammed my finger directly into my eyeball like a kid going for the last bit of Nutella in the jar.
Instantly pain and blurred vision. Not like “i don’t have my glasses” like “which one of you three are talking to me?”.
So I drive to urgent care like this 😉 (5 minute drive) parking in the 2 hour parking because I don’t think I’ll be here long and they tell me “vision problems?. Nope we’re sending you to ER and you can’t drive.
So I somehow got a friend to take me the rest of the way to hospital at 9:30pm and drop me off. I was checked for triage and told” probably a cornea abrasion” – that was 4 hours ago.
The pain was so bad I needed to keep both eyes closed to stop my eye from moving. But at least I just now got pain relief.
TL;DR: rubbed my eyelid and blinded myself, sending myself to hospital