TIFU by slapping a baby Jesus in a live nativity scene

This was last December, but it still haunts me.

I was at a live nativity play at my niece’s church. Small town, big crowd, cold night. They used a real baby for Jesus, which felt… ambitious.

I was standing near the front with hot cocoa when a wasp (yes, in December??) flew straight into my scarf. I freaked out. Started slapping at my neck like a lunatic. I tripped on the curb, lost my balance, and tried to grab onto something to steady myself.

I grabbed the wooden edge of the manger.

Pulled it forward.

The hay-topped platform tipped, and I, with my flailing hand, ended up slapping Baby Jesus right across the forehead.

The actual, real baby.

The poor thing started wailing. Mary screamed. Joseph tried to catch the baby. A wise man yelled, “Oh my God!”

Everyone stared.

I set down my cocoa and just walked to my car in silence.

TL;DR: Tried to slap a wasp out of my scarf, ended up smacking Baby Jesus at a church play. Might be going to hell.