Last night my boyfriend and I were watching a movie on the couch and we were both pretty tired. I was laying across the couch with my head on his lap. Sometime during the movie I ended up knocking out. I was woken up by the foulest thing I’ve ever smelled. The fart itself was pretty quiet but it was almost like the smell came first then the sound. Sometimes I sleep with my mouth open… allergies, and I tasted it in my mouth somehow!
I shot right up and started coughing. I went to yell at my boyfriend for ripping ass right near my face and he turns out he was knocked out too. He definitely heard about this in detail once he woke up. I learned my lesson about sleeping on his lap, all trust has been broken, and my eyes still sting a little. Yes I blame him even though he was asleep, because why did it have to stink so bad. My FU was putting my life in his hands 💔
TL;DR Fell asleep with my head in my boyfriend’s lap and he passed gas in my face.
Comments
Double check those eyelash bugs. They might be missing some legs, bwahaha.
L.MFAO!!!
REVENGE IS BETTER
Check for pink eye too 🤣
Do you cook the meals in the house? If so its very possible you caused that sassy gas. Who smelt it may have not dealt it, but they may have readied the dealting.
https://gizmodo.com/you-have-taste-receptors-in-your-lungs-5672139
So I read the title and thought something else happened. Reading the content after that made it even funnier.
God damn, this has me fucking dying
Welp, time to lawyer up, hit the gym, and delete Facebook!
Farts have particles in them so yes you can taste them
This is how trust dies *not with a bang, but a silent but deadly whimper.*💀 You didn’t just nap, you went to war and came back a survivor.
LOL you just killed me. actually being able to taste a fart is hilariously rancid.
This made my day.
I also would’ve immediately pretended to be asleep.
He crop-dusted your dreams. That man owes you reparations and a nasal rinse
Was it a hot one?
Beans are known to make people fart and I hear the carnivore diet can reduce or potentially eliminate farts due to less plants fermenting aka rotting in their colon.
You gonna get pinkeye
Did you know…. When you can smell/taste a fart it’s literally poop particles hitting your nasal receptors/tongue….
You’re welcome.
https://preview.redd.it/ttvel909es0f1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9601e93359b18ba1051d59904b093819f4a8d98
Perfection.
How can you say you love someone if you won’t even exchange dutch ovens? /s
Smell is just taste at a distance
Methane cuddles are love in a stinky form.
“My mouth was open and everythang!”
-Donkey, 2001.
-OP, 2025.
Flatulence, words of love silently whispered in your ear
When a woman falls in love with you know it because she’ll fart around you.
Use a pillow next time. It will cover da fart.
Shit happens.
Theres a reason why older couples dont do younger couple stuff
It got on your tongue it was so thick. You still taste it?
I was once awakened EXTREMELY rudely because my husband bit my boob. We had both fallen asleep in that position and he bit down in his sleep 🥴
He farted on your face, he’s trying to give you pink eye, cuz he don’t want you looking at nobody else but him.
Your bf is lying. You can’t fart in your sleep, body doesn’t want to risk shitting itself
Today I Got Pinkeye
Refried beans and chill.
Eh, shit happens.
Wait until you’re married. It will be an almost everyday thing. 😂
“I uhhhhh was also asleep….”
The fuck has been eating?
This made me wheeze laughing
Sometimes, I really don’t mind that I lost my sense of smell in a car accident. Lol.
For this reason & this reason only, I place a protective pillow on my partner’s lap before lying down.
If you were both sleeping, how do you know it’s him who farted?
Hey this honestly happened to me (yes im a dude) while someone was giving me oral but we finished.Afterwards she swore I did it on purpose but what had us cracking up was when I told her “if u thought that why didn’t you atleast say something”? She was like “heey,no shit” and I said I don’t know it sounded wet.
Ps:Obviously our farts don’t need our input for output.
If you don’t want to smell farts, don’t go knocking on farts’ door.
That’s called a right of passage. Every woman needs to experience her man’s farts
Sureeee he was asleep. Keep tellin yourself that.
lol. Tongued my gf’s ass and she farted in my mouth! 😂
Ew you ate his fart
Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I’ve definitely dropped a rank one in bed, I’m also a pro like your boyfriend. Definitely gotta pretend to be asleep.
Well, at least it was a fart and not something else in your mouth. 😅🤣🤣
After 3 days of reading about the R Kelly, I mean P Diddy trail… light work lol.
https://preview.redd.it/15cayohsbu0f1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43c71022e7c3fa54b2845662c8365d1b276d03f2
This post made me search for this convo I had with my ex.
…Not an ex because of farts, just clearing that up..
Farts are so damn funny 😆.
Had to stink so bad you prob at fault for the food you feed him or the food you don’t feed him causing him to go out and get food.
Did this to a girl a few years ago. We were both awake though. We weren’t dating either. Probably like the thrid or fouth time we hung out. She kept comin back too. She mustve really liked me
The other day my little nephew, who has the misfortune to have a head at the same level of my ass was getting something out of the drawer behind me as I was putting up the dishes.
I ripped one, big one, held it in during dinner because I’m not a monster. He screamed and ran out of the room.
Poor kid.
This is dumb. Welcome to the human race. People fart. Get over it.
Sounds like he has crappy gut health. We can’t give medical advice here. What I can tell you is that my farts used to require military grade gas masks to deal with the aftermath. But since I stopped eating gluten, my farts don’t even have a smell anymore.
How about tossing someone’s salad and having your sweetheart fart in yer mouth? IT HAPPENED TO A FRIEND. IT WAS A FRIEND, TELL YOU!!!
I laughed so hard at this. Thanks OP.
One time my ex farted so badly in bed that I woke up mid vomit and mid crying.
It was A HORRIBLE WAY TO WAKE UP.
Immediate 0 to 100 the SECOND I wake up is wild.
Is that onion? Onion and ketchup?