TIFU by talking to someone I shouldn’t have

r/

So I 29F am dating my BF 30M for about 4 year now.
We have been having a long distance because of our work locations. However I try to be with him as much as possible and so does he.
A few months ago one of my colleagues texted me and we started talking and he started getting informal pretty quickly like inviting me for drinks and complimenting my looks. (Flirty vibes)
My bf saw those messages and asked me not to talk to this guy and I blocked him over text.
Now this guy sent me a request over linkedin and connected with me there.
We again exchanged a few messages there about office and some general stuff.

Now my bf was checking something on my linked in and he saw those messages and now he is not at all happy with it and he wants us to stop visiting each other.

Tl;DR talked to a guy my bf asked not to talk to because the guy was trying to get cosy and now my bf wants to break up.

Comments

  1. Imperial_nugget Avatar

    He told you NOT to speak to him and you still did, knowing his intent, if I was your bf I’d be pissed too. You either want the guy, like his attention and or the validation you think your bf doesn’t give you, or you don’t respect/love your boyfriend as much as you should.

    This is YOUR fault and you owe him an apology and that break up.

  2. MarcusAce Avatar

    Ah a classic case of fuck around and find out

  3. Tsobe_RK Avatar

    welp thats on you

  4. TheVideoGameCritic Avatar

    Yeah you sound thick…Please leave your bf so he can find someone smarter. He’s unfortunately too stupid to do it

  5. OneMirrionYen Avatar

    Oh no, the consequences of your actions

  6. lookthepenguins Avatar

    Wait, now you can’t even talk about work stuff with colleagues? Why is this “bf” stalking your LinkedIn and reading your msgs? Cool, stop visiting with him – at least he showed his controlling stalker tendencies before you wasted more time with him.

  7. scuba_hop Avatar

    Your fault.

  8. net_junkey Avatar

    Sound like the both of you are not emotionally ready for a long distance relationship or it’s starting to take a toll.

  9. supercoach Avatar

    You obviously want to hook up with the other guy, why not just do it and be done with it? Or is the subterfuge part of the allure?

    The guy you’re stringing along that you call your boyfriend deserves better.

  10. MizzelSc2 Avatar

    The forbidden fruit always seems more appealing than it is.

  11. WhirlwindTobias Avatar

    Your boyfriend is right. I think you would break up with him if he was entertaining a conversation with a girl who made it clear she wants him. You obviously can’t put yourself in his shoes.

  12. cochese25 Avatar

    If the dude is trying to pursue you, then make it clear that you are not that person and get him out of your DMs.
    I’m not one for telling my partner who they can and can’t talk to, but if the person is clearly trying to pull some moves and your first words aren’t “stop,” I would probably be mad as well.

    Being a colleague can make it a bit tricky, but that’s not a him problem as much as it is a you problem.
    This is definitely a TIFU.