I’ve (28M) been talking to this guy, G, (38M) for a few weeks now and have met with him several times now. While not looking for a relationship with him (or anyone), I’m not big into hookup culture and don’t want to run into shady guys that may lie about their sexual health to get laid. So I decided to call him up after work to let him know.
Once G accepts the call, I can tell he’s not home but in a car. I asked if he was busy and he said “not really..”, though I didn’t think too much of it. I started telling G about rejecting a guy that wanted to schedule another meet after our first hookup and that I’m thinking about deleting grindr. As soon as G starts to respond, I hear a quick struggle over the phone followed by a random voice interrogating me:
“What’s your name”
“I’m sorry?”
“What’s. Your. Name?”
“throwaway_advice_n”
“How do you know G?!”
“We’re…. friends”
“Yeah, like dick in your mouth huh?!”
The call abruptly ended.
So many thoughts went through my mind..
(I should’ve just texted him.. who is she.. did I just out him?.. is he in danger?)
G texted me about 10 mins later saying he’d call me when he gets home.
Turns out, G’s ex-girlfriend had low transmission fluid and wanted him to take a look at it. After looking, he decided to bring her to a trusted repair shop for service. He told me they weren’t close after breaking up but now he knows for sure that he wants nothing to do with her after that display of jealousy.
While it feels nice that I got to speak to him, I’m a little terrified now. We’re meeting later this week, but now I have it in my head that she could be crazy and try to stalk him (or me by proxy). I just feel stupid for even giving her my name 🤦🏽
TL;DR: Called a guy to tell him I’m deleting the app and see him exclusively, his ex was with him and freaked out. Currently worried but choosing to move forward cautiously.
Comments
It’s a name… she could get this from anyone. Don’t worry too much, everyone has a crazy past. You are more likely to get attacked randomly than have this chick be a crazy stalker… unless he has otherwise said so. But to me it sounds like he is putting out boundaries so that he can move forward in a positive way. If you are consistently scared of her/worried she is going to come around/stalk you. Then I would say you aren’t ready for a relationship yet. Baggage comes in all forms and sizes, if she is a crazy hoe that is a piece of his baggage.. that he has moved on from. He can’t stop or change his past… however he can change his future.. and sounds like he doesn’t want anything to do with her.