So basically I (17f) made a post on r/offmychest a few days ago about how I still liked my best friend/ex (17f) who I broke up with 8 months ago for personal reasons and how I felt horrible, about how I just missed how close we both were before even dating and how I didn’t know what to do or how to go about it. After that post, I decided that I would talk to her about it because it has been eating me up alive for the past 8 months and today I decided to do it.
I wrote a big message, a few paragraphs long, explaining how I felt and how I wasn’t trying to ask her out because I wasn’t trying to be selfish, but that I just wanted to be as close to her as before (like having sleepovers, sending eachother tik toks, talking for hours on end like we used to before we even dated). I planned on telling her after school today but ended up instead asking her to let me know when she finished playing valorant completely so we could call cause I wanted to talk.
I sent her the message while we were on call and she took a few minutes to read it and she straight up just said she “needed to go piss” exactly like that, she then left for a while and when she came back, she basically started making jokes out of it. One of the things that she said was “I must be the hottest woman alive for you to love me this much” I stayed quiet, thinking that we would actually talk about it properly, but no, she continued, and it turns out that she was in fact still in-game and on voice chat with her online friends and started joking around with them saying “guys I’m being confessed to by my ex, it’s very romantic” and basically just started joking with them about the situation, I couldn’t hear what they said though since it was in-game, she was also texting someone else as well. I just said I had to go and then left the call.
I obviously didn’t expect her to still like me back or anything, I even said that in the message, but, I didn’t expect her to joke about it, to others nonetheless, I feel like she trampled all over my feelings and didn’t even take me seriously. We didn’t have a serious talk or anything even though I asked her to let me know when she was completely free and done for the day to be able to have a serious and proper conversation. I feel like shit and I’m practically locked in my room crying my eyes out of I’m being honest. I feel guilty, humiliated, hurt, angry. I feel like I’ve done something wrong or just ruined everything even more. I feel I just muck everything up and I don’t know what to do. I feel like a mess.
TL;DR: I tried to have a serious conversation with my best friend about how I missed being close with her and she joked about it to her online friends and didn’t take me seriously.