Me 33 and my boyfriend 36 has been together for around 2.5years. Last weekend I was out with a girlfriend and it got a bit more boozy then planned. We had a great time and while waiting for her cab-ride home we met a guy. We started talking to him. Im not usually a very talkative person but at this levele of alkohol i do get more talkative. I was not flirting, its just a happy and friendly state. But when my friend left in the taxi he pushed me toward a wall, started groping me and trying to kiss me. I averted him and tried pushing him away saying “no” and “i don’t want to, please let me go”. I was able to struggle free and run away, catching the next subway home. Once home I broke down. Telling him how scared I got and what happened.
Well, he got mad at me. Telling me I cheated on him and that I am an attentionseeker. Asking me what I told the guy, how I acted towards him. How he could possibly get close enough to do all those things if I didn’t want it. How could I let this happen and how immature I am getting that drunk at “my age”.
Nothing REALLY bad happened, I was able to get out before he was able to do anything more then what could happen standing in a crowded concert really.. but it left me feeling sad and I couldn’t shake the smell of him the days after. I thought I could still smell him on me eventhough I showered multiple times and it made me sick.
But I feel myself questioning if I did something wrong. Why did I have to talk to him when he approached us? Why didn’t I get in the cab with my friend instead of taking the subway? And why the fuck is my boyfriend acting like this?
TL;DR my boyfriend thinks it was cheating when a dude groped me without concent.
Comments
Run don’t walk. Your boyfriend is not a good guy.
Red flag alert fucking RUN.
You didn’t do anything wrong and your boyfriend is an asshole.
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. You didn’t FU at all. Also, file a police report.
He has shown you all you need to know.
Your boyfriend is a piece of shit, and so is the guy who assaulted you.
Idk why he’s mad but your “friend” really fucked up leaving you. Like tf?
You didn’t fuck up and I’m sorry for what happened.
This the reddest flag of all redflags, when you needed comfort and support, your insecure bf decided to blame you. I’m even more sorry that you’re in a relationship with such a person
You did nothing wrong, your boyfriend is a victim-blaming asshole. He is not a good guy.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s frightening enough without having to also deal with unearned feelings of shame.
Please please please PLEASE run as far as you can PLEASE
He has finally shown you who he actually is and you need to believe him cause he will only get worse if this slides
You are a red flag
Op you did not fuck up anywhere in that story. The fuck ups are the males in the story, both of them are trash.
Between this and your other post in your history… I’m sure you could tell stories of other red flag incidents. You need to take a step back and realize the situation you’re in. This man is not a good man.
I told my ex girlfriend I was sexually assaulted at a young age and it ruined my sense of self and sexuality and she basically pretended like I didn’t say anything.
Just dump him dude.
This is not a fuck up. This is a golden light from god himself directly onto the red flag that is your boyfriend.
You mean ex boyfriend? hell if my lady came home and said someone groped her I would be out looking for the guy not accusing her of cheating. Do yourself a favor a find a man that will have your back not accuse you of something every chance he gets
When I clicked on this, I expected a story of “BF rage beats some guy”. Sadly what I got was, “someone tried to hurt me and I was blamed for it.”
DUMP your boyfriend. He is supposed to be someone you can count on to have your back, Instead he has proven to be just as dangerous as the attacker.
your family was right. he’s literally blaming the victim. he’s not a good person. what you do with that information is up to you.
Your boyfriend is as bad as this guy. Gross.
I’m so sorry you were basically assaulted twice in a night. He’s the F up. Not you. You did nothing wrong.
Your boyfriend needs to be an ex. What an awful person and a horrid response to his person being assaulted. I have been married for 25 years and if this happened to me, his ass would be gone, time be damned. Sunk cost fallacy is not a reason to stay with someone who clearly thinks so little of you. Please take care of you since he clearly doesn’t want to.
You were assaulted twice in the same night. Sexually assaulted by the goon at the bar and verbally assaulted by your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend is a pos. Dump him.
This is not a TIFU moment.
But if you don’t stand up for yourself, then in 6-12 months we’re going to see another TIFU post from you entitled “TIFU by staying with my overly insecure boyfriend.”
Your soon to be ex boyfriend is a fucking idiot.
Victim blaming is an absolutely atrocious thing to do for anyone, but especially from a significant other. I don’t usually advocate for this, but this is a dealbreaker for me so I suggest you dump his loser ass and find someone who supports you. You telling him wasn’t a fuck up, but you staying with someone who blames you for you being sexually assaulted would be a fuck up.
You did nothing wrong. Your BF has shown his true colors, you need to get out fast!
That “friend” and your BF are the ones that f’ed up. Get out of there.
Your boyfriend sound like he’s the problem but honestly I’m taking a pause where you said “we met a guy. We started talking to him.” Not sure if you meant to phrase it like that but it sounds like you and your friend picked up a guy, then she left you two. As a girl in a relationship did you make it clear to him at the very beginning that you are taken and uninterested?
You need a new relationship and to report the attack. You’re my the first or the last and maybe you can save someone else.
This has to be rage bait, right?
You’re the victim. BF is an asshole.
Yeah, this is not an emotionally supportive person to be with, if even a safe person. You had a terrifying experience, and all he can do is blame and shame you? You deserve safety, understanding, and to be heard. Your bf is an asshole.
This story has 2 assholes. You’re not one of them. The end.
i’m so fucking sorry that happened, you did nothing wrong. leave that awful man, please. you deserve someone who cares about your safety and comfort
First of all thank you for telling. I am so glad you said something. You should have!
No one should fear if they were out and about, but they are going to be taken advantage of in such a way.
We know that people do, but no one should have that fear and yet we know that we should have the fear because there are people like that man who assaulted you who simply think someone speaks to them or looks their way that they are wanted.
Your boyfriend’s response is one of his ignorance.
If you can, please make sure you get therapy. If you can have your boyfriend attending you, perhaps couples therapy, so your boyfriend can understand that you, did nothing wrong!
This is why there are groups such as one called “take back the night “ because of men who choose to assault women or fail to realize that women get attacked, and they are 100% innocent, such as you!
You’re entitled to have all types of emotions and reactions, it is normal. You should allow them to happen. Hopefully, it helps to heal.
Your boyfriend needs to heal too. He was resorted to accusations for reasons that if he went into therapy, he would find out why.
You should be able to come and tell your boyfriend, things that happen and he should be able to listen and respond in an emotionally available way.
The same thing goes for you, if he came to you, you would respond and an emotionally available way.
These are things that we need to learn because they don’t teach us when we are in school.
Whatever you decide to do if your boyfriend, please seek therapy for yourself.
I do hope you’re OK physically. Emotionally and mentally, I want you to get better.
❤️🩹
You didn’t fuck up, your boyfriend fucked up. You didn’t do anything wrong and him blaming you for what happened is very fucked up. Get away from this guy, cause it’s not gonna get better.
OP, if your BF doesn’t understand that you being groped against your will is not cheating, is SA , he doesn’t understand consent. That means if he would grope a girl without consent he would blame that girl for ‘leading him on’ and not understand that it was in fact SA. He’s a potencial risk for your integrity. Run.
please be rage bait
I just wanted to say that I can relate. Trust me when I say: get out now. It’s going to get worse.
I once worked for a company where a boss threatened to fire me if I didn’t preform oral. I declined and was fired. The guy I was dating at the time got mad and asked me all kinds of questions like: “why did he feel like he could say that to you? You’ve been cheating on me, haven’t you.” And I was also an attention seeking hoe.
I broke down crying because the one person that I thought would comfort me (the one person I trusted) turned their back on me. He said “oh you’re crying cuz you got caught, huh?”. I just walked away and shut down. I never said anything to him ever again about my feelings or what happened in my life. And things go worse because I was “distant” so I was probably “cheating again” which I never did in the first place.
I let him live with me for another 2 years after that because he couldn’t go back home after his dad got sick… and he absolutely destroyed me slowly over those two years. I could go into lengthy detail but there’s not enough time.
I miss the person I was before I met him. Please please please leave. Don’t follow the same path that I did.
When someone shows you who they are, listen. That boyfriend just gave the best gift he ever could by showing his true colors now. Leave.
Sorry this happened to you.
Your post history is all about your partner being a terrible person, going back a year. Don’t wait any longer, it’s time.
This is your sign. The only proper response from a partner in a situation like this is support. He didn’t do that. Don’t wait for him to change. Find someone who can do that now because it’s who they are. Find someone who can treat you right, now. You deserve better.
I hope i see an edit that he is now an ex
Shouldn’t you be telling this to the police instead of reddit?
My stepdad molested me from the ages of 11 to 15. My mom accused her husband of cheating on her. That that’s not what happened.
Do you understand why I’m telling you this?
Run. Don’t walk.
I was a regular part of a “free hugs” group for a local street fair until I got pressed into a corner with someone trying to grope/kiss me while his friend just watched I guess?
I was able to push him off of me and said he’s no longer welcome to a free hug.
The people who were with me didn’t see it happen but when I pointed him out, they all dropped their signs and made a point to call him out for being a creep (it was a festival weekend in a party beach town).
You didn’t do anything wrong by being friendly. Your “boyfriend” is a jerk for blaming you.
Again, I was literally with people offering hugs/being friendly and got support from friends/strangers after someone tried to take advantage.
Your boyfriend blamed you for someone else’s gross behavior. Maybe he shouldn’t be your boyfriend anymore.
Nothing really bad happened? Sorry? You were sexually assaulted. How do you expect your boyfriend to see this if you’re not seeing it yourself?
I’m glad my wife would never even want to go to a club on some girls night. BF should have got a girl who is not into that.
This is not the only time your boyfriend has been a piece of shit to you by your own admission. Your last post in r/advice almost a year ago makes it plain that he’s an untrusting, jealous asshole and you should listen to your friends, family, and quite frankly us internet strangers at this point. SAVE YOURSELF PLEASE.
I’ve seen your post history. Your boyfriend is a piece of shit. There’s no way you stay with him and don’t end up miserable and abused or dead.
You’re young, go find someone that actually gives a shit about you and knows how to act right.
You need to leave that dude. He’s a pos.
You need to leave that man now….
The only part of this that will be a fu is if you don’t leave this guy. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
If your boyfriend was say 20 and inexperienced in life maybe cut him some slack to organize his thoughts, but at 36… fuck. Your BF is an asshole.
He should be pissed… but not at you.
Being friendly is NOT consent. You did nothing wrong. If this had happened to me my boyfriend would have wrapped me in blankets, brought me a hot drink, and then offered to have supported me with a police report. Your boyfriend is a bad person. I’m sorry that happened to you. It wasn’t your fault. You deserved better treatment from both men.
So you went out with a friend, got hammered, chatted up a random guy, stayed behind to “chat” with this guy when your friend left and you could have left with her, and you’re calling your boyfriend a bad guy?
Lmao, lady, you wanted the attention and had regrets, now blaming your man for being mad. He should throw you and your stuff out on the street where you belong.
I was also sexually assaulted and molested but as a child. I can assure you that this isn’t just a red flag. This is a red flashing light as bright as the sun flashing in your face. This kind of stuff will stay with you. If he is treating you like this over a crime that happened to you, no telling what else he might do. You need to leave him. I promise you you’ll be better off in the long run. I blew off when I told an ex, and she responded like I was trying to get attention she said you liked it, and men can’t be raped she was was a horrible gaslighter, and the emotional abuse just escalated. She would make jokes or references to it in a bad way that hurt me and would then tell me to quit being a baby, or she was just joking when I would say it’s not funny.
Some people are raised by abusers who have been abused and live in this isolating emotional bubble.
Because there are some people who have been traumatized and abused and still to this day don’t acknowledge it. Maybe it happens over and over again and it is mentioned once, like in a post on reddit, then forgotten.
If he believes this was your fault it is only a matter of time before you’re nursing a black eye that he will tell you was your fault too.
Don’t walk away, run.
If that is what your boyfriend thinks, I suspect he has sexually assaulted women like that in the past. At the very least he thinks it’s ok for men to do that and he is not a safe partner.
I wish he were grouped by 58 year old fat guy and you have an opportunity to tell him that “he wanted it”
Narcissist at its finest
You’re drunk, out of control and being extra friendly to strangers. Are you sure you remember correctly what you did with and said to this person. Your bf didn’t react the right way but I understand how it would make him upset that you put yourself in that situation. You should take ownership of that and consider the positions you put yourself in when you go out without him.
I’m sorry this guy got overly aggressive with you but it sounds like things could’ve gone even worse for you
That’s not a boyfriend. That’s a piece of garbage. No one asks to be assaulted, no matter how friendly or flirtatious they are to someone. That’s disgusting, and I’m sorry you had to experience the lack of validation from someone you should be able to trust with your well-being… You deserved and deserve better
Yeah na, your “Bf” is a flog
nothing REALLY bad happened? oh yes it did. your bf victim blamed you for being sexually assaulted!!!! fuck this guy fr
Nope the hell right out of there. My spouse would be checking to make sure I’m ok, be angry on my behalf, and asking if there’s anything he can do to help me. My guy friend would be telling me to press charges (even if it’s never going to happen). Neither of them would blame me or get mad at me. They might caution me to be more careful in the future but it would never ever be my fault.
You know who did blame me for my assault AND threaten to break up with me? My ex husband who had zero respect for boundaries, is emotionally immature, AND cheated on me.
You didn’t mess up anything.
he is 36 and has this childish mindset? dump this asshole loser. he should be supporting you not blaming you.
If this is how your man acts when faced with a serious situation, he should be your ex.
So what was your original plan to get home ? Was it always to take the subway ?
You didn’t fuck up, OP, your boyfriend did, and you need to drop that motherfucker like he’s on fire. I was married to a man EXACTLY like that for nearly a decade, and let me tell you, sister, he’ll only get worse. Dump him now and don’t ever look back.
I’m not going to say this is OP Karma farming but
The first post in their history is
AITA for posting pictures of me pole dancing
The second post my family hates my boyfriend
3 posts in just under 1 year.
You want an honest answer that’s not a hivemind that is Reddit? Here goes.
DO NOT BREAK UP… at least not yet.
Unless you’re boyfriend has always been an asshole and overdramatic (it was an asshole reaction to be honest), then GIVE YOUR BF TIME to process what you told him and what actually happened. Do not waste years of bonding and relationship due to (most likely) shock reaction from him. If after a few days your BF still thinks you’ve cheated, then maybe it’s time to let go.
You did nothing wrong and you being honest with your boyfriend is what mature people do. Now just wait to see if he’s mature enough as well.
Wow. He’s a piece of shit
Your BF is emotionally immature at best. You can hang around while he learns and grows, or, you can yeet him.
I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. That kind of behavior is inexcusable and no one should have to suffer it. Nothing about being a friendly, talkative person welcomes or justifies that. I’m glad you were able to get away safely; I hope you know it’s okay for it to take time to move past what happened, and that no part of what occurred was a fault of your own.
Your (hopefully ex) boyfriend is completely in the wrong here. His reaction is nearly as reprehensible as the event itself.
If he thinks about himself before he thinks of you in a situation like this, he’s not worth another moment of your energy.
Either he’s a tricky person or there’s a lot more to this story.
As a guy, who was married to someome who had full blown grape trauma, you “BF” is a terrible person. That is an objective fact. This was his moment to be a pillar of safety and understanding, but rather he chooses to blame you for being taken advantage of? I can not in a million years understand how guys think like that. You are the victim here, and there is nothing left to discuss with your should not be ex BF. You are blaming yourself because it is what you can control and when things spiral out of control, that is the easiest thing to do. Not that you are “taking the easy route”, it is more of a default I guess I should say. You didnt do anything wrong, you experienced some heavy trauma and there is no getting around that. The way your bf acted has only compounded the damage of that trauma. So again, you did nothing wrong, and I can not say that enough.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Your thought process is completely normal, it happens to all of us that experience a similar thing. “Why did I talk to them? Why didn’t I leave sooner? I must’ve done something to make them think I was interested? This is all my fault”. That’s your mind trying to process what happened. It’s ok to feel that way, but please don’t let it weigh you down. It’s happened now and you can’t change it, so don’t dwell on it and please don’t let it take over your thoughts (I’m saying this because I didn’t do that and required 2 years of therapy).
What is wrong here, is the way your boyfriend reacted. His first question should have been “are you ok?” followed by “is there anything I can do for you?”, and then “I’ll come with you to the police station to make a report”. Not any of the crap that he said.
I know you’ve showered since, but have you washed the clothes you wore? If you haven’t, you can take those in as evidence so they can try and get some information from it. That’s one of the things I was told by the police officers when I reported my assault, they said if I had the clothes unwashed then it’d help prove my case.
You probably don’t know anything about this guy so it may seem like a dead end reporting it, but if you’ve got a time/location/description (and your friend can help too, as they spoke to him as well!) then that can help the police build something against this guy. He might already be known to the police.
Please look after yourself and do not beat yourself up over this, you didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve a partner that supports you, it doesn’t sound like your current partner does.
Sending you love xx
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You did nothing wrong, he’s blaming you for being assaulted.
You did absolutely NOTHING wrong. This isn’t on you.
You did nothing wrong – your (hopefully ex) boyfriend sounds like a terrible person. Run. This is your biggest red flag this guy is not the one.
You didn’t FU, your boyfriends is a major piece of shit and you deserver someone who won’t blame you for being assaulted. I’m glad you’re safe, but you need to get away from this asshole asap.
Hardly a fuck up on your part. I’d say that today he fucked up by accusing you of cheating when you confided him with such a harrowing memory instead. It hardly gets better.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Ur bf is as bad if not worse than the dude who assaulted you!!
Ur bf is a delusional moron!!
Please please get as far from him as u can x
I think you meant T[wo years ago]IFU
Today you know it’s time to move on.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, it sounds awful and beyond scary. But you didn’t fuck up when it happened and you didn’t fuck up when you told your boyfriend. All of what he was saying is common bs that people talk about to blame rape victims. What did you do to get him interested? what were you wearing? What did you say? Why did you let him do that? It’s all putting the blame on the victim, not the perpetrator. Your bf was asking all of the how did you mess up questions, when he should have been comforting you. If he was trying to blame you for this situation and was acting like you wanted it then he isn’t a safe person to be around. I know that in itself is scary, but he showed you who he is and he is a POS.
I’m really glad you were able to get away from the man who attacked you. And you did nothing wrong, please don’t let what your bf said get under your skin. He is being extremely unfair and his lack of empathy is very disheartening.
I see this as a total win. Now you can take out the trash (bf).
I was with this guy who I realized had been sexually abusing me.. one time we went to a bar and this guy put his arm around me without permission. He was sloshed. Instead of being like don’t touch her or something like that he got mad at me!
What a piece of shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Girl, he’s a HORRIBLE PERSON. Leave him.
How do women get themselves in these situations and then not understand why their partners get upset at them for it?
I kicked an ex to the curb for something similar. She said she was going to go to a party, I told her NO because I didn’t want her getting stoned and end up raped. She went anyways, got stoned, got raped. Then got dumped.
If we can’t be in a situation to protect you, and you aren’t going to have someone else there for protection, then obviously you shouldn’t be going into that situation – especially not when drunk or high. Obviously, that is a recipe for disaster because EVERYONE KNOWS there are men/women/its out there just waiting to prey on a vulnerable and alone person.
It’s valid to be upset at a partner for this too – not just against women, but men too. Men can be raped. And regardless of the rape, these situations can result in other things happening “oops I got stoned and fucked this chick that’s not you, sowwy”… And the partner that was responsible is supposed to just be OK with that bad decision?
At the end of the day, that’s just not the kind of person you want to spend your life with or have a family with. They can’t use common sense and stay out of dangerous situations.
Yeah. He an asshole.
Next time somebody acts wrong around you or tries to hurt you, expect him to go straight to berating you.
He’s not supportive. Your safety and mental wellness are not his first concern. He instantly suspects the worst of you and makes it about his feelings of jealousy.
You deserve way better.
Just looking at the 3 posts in your post history, I think you know you did “FU” today. Hopefully you listen to these strangers on the internet and get out.
File a police report. Tell your close family and friends so they can support you as you go through this. Contact victim services in your area. Get counselling. Your boyfriend is cruel and insecure. This shows that when you’re in need, he’s not going to be your partner. He’s going to be your adversary. Take care of yourself. You did nothing wrong.
Last year you were 30 & he was 33. You forgot to delete your AITA post. Why make up stuff like this?
It doesn’t really seem like the whole story is being told here…
🎣
Would this have happened if you weren’t drunk though? Like absolutely guys can just overpower you and rape you i get that, but this sounds like the sort of thing that couldn’t have happened if you were sober.
That doesn’t make it your fault but I feel like anyone is right to have questions
Your post history ☠️
Your boyfriend was right about getting drunk. If your safety is a priority, then getting impaired in an environment full of predators, leaves you vulnerable to attacks.
You also said that nothing really bad happened, but you then mentioned not being able to shake off the smell of your attacker, even after multiple showers. You must be more mindful of the dangers out there, even if you feel like you should be loved and respected by others.
Your boyfriend sounds like he would make a really great… ex.
Blaming you for an assault displays either a simmering misogyny or a deep-seated set of fears on his part. Either way you would be well quit of him.
How the hell you manage to get into a random corner and backed against a wall. You mentioned the subway so it sounds like NYC. Girl you got way too drunk. Dude obviously thought you were open. Your bf is a dipsh*t but you also lowkey put yourself in this situation.
You mean ex-boyfriend, right?
Dude this sounds like some cluster b personality shit. It’s not your fault. Please leave this asshole. I would check out the book “Psychopath Free”. How to leave sociopaths, borderlines, narcissists, etc. Man I feel like they all read the same script. Probably because it’s a personality disorder.
Wow, what a guy lol.
I have to ask, do you have a history of lying tho?
If not, you def should pick someone else.
Not a fuckup. You did the right thing. You found a red flag in your bf.
Holy shit. Leave this POS. He is not a man. He’s garbage.
Get away from him!
Why were you talking to some stranger though foreal??
Break up with this POS. He is a victim blamer.
Short of having a, “let’s build a posey and hunt down this mofo” attitude and circling the wagons around you, no other reaction is acceptable. I recently learned of a loved one SA and the description above was my only possible reaction. Once we provided her with her options, my family rallied around her and did everything we could to support her on this very difficult time for her. SA is never aceptable in any degree and the way your bf reacted shows his immaturity, selfishness and lack of love for you. It’s your choice on how you decide to manage your relationship but a loving, supportive partner would never act this way. Do you want to help him become something he’s not or find the person you really deserve?
GIRL LEAVE
Your boyfriend is a POS. You gotta go, girl. You’re not safe with him.
Throw the whole man away. Dump his ass NOW if you haven’t already.
And as for the man that assaulted you, I hope one day he is found out for what he is before he can assault someone else and he gets his balls clamped in a vice grip.
You misspelt ex-boyfriend. Put him in your rearview. NTA.
Sounds like your boy friend is an ass hat and you are lucky you told him so you could find out. RUN!
Definitely not a fuck up. This is your chance to see him for who he is. Please leave him and for the love of God don’t have children with this man. Imagine him raising a son or daughter to believe that women ask to be assaulted by their behaviour or drinking?! He’s a sad excuse for a human
He’s an asshole. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were assaulted.
You did nothing wrong at all. No one has the right to force themselves on you. And you did the right thing to tell your bf immediately. Unfortunately, your bf is an insecure pos and did you a favor by showing you who he really is. Instead of caring for you and soothing your pain, he inflicted shame and guilt and emotional anguish. Do yourself a favor a drop him.
And I never let a friend go home by themselves intoxicated. I’ve had too many questionable run-ins myself and wouldn’t want that for the ppl I love. We usually share a cab with multiple stops. And if we absolutely must take the subway, we’re going home together, then getting a cab from there
Assuming this is real, as well as your last post, this is the massive glowing red flag you get when you miss a lot of big red flags. It’s obviously way easier for someone from the outside looking in to point this out but you’re probably not going to get a bigger sign until you catch him actually cheating. In my years on this earth (30) I’ve come to realize that the biggest most insecure douchebags (men and women) end up being the biggest cheaters. It’s like if they’re on the offensive all the time, accusing the other person of cheating, that person is too busy trying to prove their innocence to be looking for the cheating signs
Your post history has two posts about his behaviour in the last two years that are glaring red flags. He’s abusive and awful and your friends and family hate him. You don’t have to live like this, I promise there are men out there who actually love and respect their partners. His behaviour is not typical
Shit if this was my wife I would have grabbed my pew pew and had her show me the street. Maybe we can find this guy and i do a little assaulting back.
Your post history is alarming and you need to leave this piece of shit.
Your bf is literally victim blaming, make him an ex.
Really sorry your ex is a POS loser
This is a red flag so bright it could be used to direct aircraft landings at night.
Dump him and run, if he acts like this now you can be sure he’ll be worse in time.
Rarely do I feel so confident as I do right now that there is no nuance to explore, no extenuating circumstances. Your boyfriend is a piece of garbage. There is no alternate explanation. Run away. Normally these relationship stories feel incomplete, and it feels as if some missing information might recontextualize the issue.
There is no gray here.
You were assaulted. The person who supposedly loves you took the opportunity of your physical attack to then subject you to a verbal one. Please get away.
This should be your ex. You were assaulted and he blamed you.
He’s done. He’s out. You don’t need someone that respects a stranger over you.
Your boyfriend is self-centered and unsupportive. Looking for ways to blame you. You did nothing wrong. Good for you to resist and get away. You deserve to be with someone who will help you, but make you feel worse. Time to say bye to him and move on.
Just chiming in here – my mother had something similar happen to her, and still went ahead and married my (eventual) father despite this. They have had forty years of misery together. Run from this relationship as fast as possible because if you let it carry on farther it’s very possible it’ll end similarly.
How spacious was this taxi? tf
OP is Karma farming lol
Girl I had a guy do something worse than that to me and multiple guys in my friend group said the same shit, because they knew he was guilty but picked him over me. At least immediately and mentally they weren’t willing to admit it and it was easier to say I was a whore. Only a decade later did I get SOME apologies from people that grew up and mostly got sober.
What your bf said is the biggest test of his character and I would walk away. You needed support, and instead he accused you because why? Is he feeling guilty? Either of cheating or maybe doing something similar?
The one person that did stand by me when it has haunted me for the next decade because I still reside in the damn small town was my boyfriend at the time.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t need to apologize. You need support and to be single.
I’m wishing you the absolute best of luck. And I am really glad you weren’t hurt worse.