so this happened like 2 days ago and I’m still dying inside lol
for context, I (m24) just started a new job last month. things have been going well, everyone’s cool, and my manager (f30s) is super friendly. maybe a little too friendly? she laughs at my jokes, compliments my outfits, brings me snacks sometimes?? idk I started thinking maybe she was lowkey into me
so on Monday she comes by my desk and goes “you always smell so nice, what cologne is that?” and I kinda panic-flirted and said “well I’m glad you noticed, it’s called ‘desperation’”
immediately I realized what I said. she just blinked and went “…ok then” and walked away
later I got a Slack from her that just said “please be mindful of professional boundaries” and I swear I ascended out of my body
I’ve spent the past 48 hours rethinking every single interaction we’ve had. I might actually die of cringe
TL;DR: thought my boss was flirting, tried to flirt back with a dumb cologne joke, now I’m probably on an HR watchlist
Comments
She wrote the cheque and you cashed it
Idk bro that doesn’t sound like it’s on you fr
She’s started it. There is no professional setting where my boss brings me snacks and compliments how I look and smell. If it comes up as an HR case. Play stupid.
I’m a woman and I think some of those things she did were a little flirtatious.
I would not bring my employee snacks unless I asked everyone if they wanted some if I were picking up food anyway.
I don’t think I would compliment an outfit either unless it was in terms of, this is what I like to see in the office kind of thing.
I definitely would not say you smell nice.
So what’s the actual cologne?
I think you have the wrong read. I think she was flirting with you, she thought your response was you accusing her of being desperate, it offended her, and she decided to get prickly because of it. She sounds really unprofessional.
How is that a flirt? I’d think the guy was calling me desperate. And either way it doesn’t seem sexy. “I’m desperate for anyone! Plz love me!” Yikes
Personally I just don’t understand how your response is flirtatious. It just sounds weird and cringey to me. Maybe it just turned her off.
I mean it probably couldve went further if you didnt flirt like a 17 year old. I hate mating rituals; I also hate super friendly people that “arent flirting”. I had an ex that friended her way into another dudes bed.
“Obsession” was the fragrance to name. It’s from Calvin Klein
I have a feeling she thought you were calling her desperate.
Calling yourself desperate isn’t exactly nsfw
she was flirting but your game was so bad you killed the vibe
probably not irrecoverable – just respond that you were a bit flustered and blurted out something daft
You probably meant that you’re desperate, right? Maybe it’s because of how weird that sounds, but she probably thought you called her desperate.
She was flirting with you and your game is horrible. Dude.
Awkward moment, but not fatal. Apologize if needed and move on
This is the n-th post I see this week about inappropriate behavior with a boss, I don’t even know if I should believe you or if it’s again AI. They are all written similarly, short paragraphs, average language, some cool effective sentences, and a TL;DR at the end
If you get a chance, tell her you were referencing Super Troopers, you muppet
Get a bottle of Mahajan Desperado. Pour it into another container and wash it out. Dump the cologne you actually use into the empty Desperado container. Keep the bottle at work. She should eventually see it, and if you get asked about it, call it Desperation instead of Desperado.
C’mon, people, nothing is ever as written. It’s all in the delivery. I could make that exact line make her laugh or make her cringe. Without knowing the non-verbal communication she gave and you returned, it’s impossible to know what really went down.