So this happened earlier this week, and I’m still getting crap from my coworkers for it, but here we go.
I work in a medium-sized office where things are generally chill, but we’ve got this unspoken vibe of “don’t rock the boat.” One of my coworkers, let’s call him Jake, has a habit of loudly talking over people in meetings. Like, blatantly steamrolling quieter folks and taking credit for ideas. It’s been happening for a while, but I always figured it wasn’t my place to step in.
Well, this time during a team call, he completely shut down another colleague (who’s new and was clearly nervous) and repeated her idea a few minutes later like it was his own. Everyone just awkwardly moved on. I don’t know what came over me, but I just calmly said, “I think that was actually new coworker’s idea a minute ago, right?” And tried to just keep the convo going.
Jake went stone cold. The whole room went quiet. New coworker looked kind of shocked but gave me a little smile.
Fast forward: Jake hasn’t spoken to me since, and another coworker pulled me aside and said, “You really embarrassed him.” I didn’t mean to start drama, I just couldn’t sit there and let it slide anymore. Now I’m the “office narc” or something.
Anyway, I guess my FU was trying to stand up for someone and accidentally putting a target on my back. Maybe should’ve handled it more tactfully? Idk.
TL;DR: Tried to call out a pattern of credit-stealing in a meeting in the most chill way possible, ended up making things awkward and mildly nuking office politics.
Comments
Fuck that workplace. Why should everyone cower before Jake?
I read this and just calmly thought “Damn, is anything real and not just AI generated nonsense anymore?” And I tried keeping my enjoyment of reddit going, knowing they’ll double down and swear this obvious GPT creation is totally true bro.
Not a fuck up. Own that shit. You did good.
Then everybody clapped?
Your coworkers suck. We need more people like you
You didn’t fuck up – you stood up to the loudmouth and rightly so.
Your coworkers are the ones who are fucked up by letting this behaviour continue.
I would have stood and cheered you – well done! 👏👏👏
>Fast forward: Jake hasn’t spoken to me since, and another coworker pulled me aside and said, “You really embarrassed him.”
Your FU (in my opinion) is nót standing your ground here, double down and defend your stance.
Tell that co-worker that you don’t care because it’s the truth.
I’m sorry if i sound harsh, but don’t be a b*tch about it. It’s his fault, not yours. You did good standing up.
Why can’t you defend your own opinion and come up for your interests? Communication is good just do it respectfully and most people should not take it too badly. Looks like you did that to me, others might appreciate that they didn’t have thé courage themselves.
Own it and stand your ground on this or he will escalate the situation.
If you roll over you might as well find a new job. Guys like this never get better or learn a thing.
Frankly the office culture enabled and emboldened him, and will happily do so again for the next guy.
That’s not a fuck-up. Or, if it is, the whole company is a fuck-up.
Your using the word co worker but it sounds like Jake is your boss
No good deed goes unpunished. I’m sure Jake is a reasonable human being who will thoughtfully review his actions and make better choices next time. Oh look there’s a flying pig going past my window
This is a win. Wrong sub I think. Assert dominance. Tread on this guy’s toes. Make him squirm. Enjoy it. Show him you enjoy it. Make him beg for mercy.
Never be ashamed for standing up for others. You didn’t mess up at all! Good on you for pointing it out.
You didn’t fuck up, you stood the fuck up OP. Bravo.
Wow. Bad times at State Farm. I hope Flo’s on your side.
Keep doing that. I guarantee that others are wishing they were as brave as you were.
Ha, done this before like all the time. The target was gonna be there no matter what
Fuck Jake, jakes an asshole
Face Jake in the ring. It’s the only option.
KUMITE
Double down, keep doing this, plus take any original ideas Jake has and ‘give’ them to random team members.
Funny how the loudest people have the most fragile ego.
You did the decent thing, not a fuck up.
Jake embarrassed himself, you didn’t embarrass him.
Do it again next time he pulls that shit, he knows what he’s doing.
Since the seal is broken, rock that fucking boat. Every time he does that shit, call his ass out. People can be mad all they want, but either you finally give voice to those who are too scared or new to speak up and he finally shuts up, or it becomes normal enough to hear you call him out that your coworkers put two and two together. Ya’ll are the walking definition of the bystander effect otherwise.
OP, you didn’t embarrass Jake, he embarrassed himself. You just pointed it out.
If a tree falls and you observe it and comment on it, does that make you the cause of the tree falling? No.
Jake is an asshole.
No. Jake embarrassed himself by being an idea-stealing tool. Everyone should call him out every time he tries to steal someone’s idea. It’s the only way he will stop.
Who gives a shit about Jake. No FU detected
What’s Jake’s position in the office?
Idk. On the face of it and without more details, like the nature of the work, it sounds like you weren’t too confrontational about it and it shouldn’t have been a big deal.
Very strange politics if everyone literally hushed up and then someone other than Jake approached you after.
Just part of every workplace it seems. I’ve stopped being proactive in righting the wrongs. Every workplace seem to have some wrongs that are stil wrong because everyone like the way it is wrong.
Yobu gotta let it marinate a little and determine whether that wrong is actually right where it’s festering in.
Team oppression is ultimately a choice of inaction by the majority.
People here would recklessly tell you that standing up is the right thing & not the fuck up, but remember that they aren’t the ones to take the consequences that follow.
Given the reaction of the coworker makes me question if this is even real..
IT WAS NOT A FUCK UP! You stood up for your coworker. Jake is an asshole and you held him accountable! This is HUGE! You knocked the bully down a few pegs, you’re an advocate of the truth!
Bullies are insecure cowards and you confronted him. Well done! You weren’t rude about it, and you did the right thing. That he is not talking to you is encouraging! He has learned that he can’t fuck with you. The lesson here is that you will not tolerate his behavior. STAND TALL! Be proud of yourself! You are a person of integrity. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for having standards.
Thank you for shutting him down. Brilliantly handled. You didn’t embarrass him, he embarrassed himself.
Jake is toxic as fuck. Keep calling him out y’all don’t need that sort of back biting BS! He’ll either stop being a pill or he’ll leave, either way you win.
Tell Jake that bullies are nothing but bull and lies.
Fuck Jake. All my homies hate people like Jake.
Stand-up for your coworkers.
Fuck Jake. You did what everyone else was afraid to do, and from Jake’s reaction people have been letting his bad behavior slide for a very long time.
Jake can shove it.
This is one of those situations where everyone makes themselves uncomfortable to make a toxic person comfortable when it should be the opposite. Stand your ground.
You didn’t fuck up. This is what standing up for the right thing looks like. That’s why it’s called “standing up” and not lying there.
I know its the wrong sub butt you’re NTA. Everyone knew what Jake did. You called him out for being a manipulative jackass. If someone calls you a narc, try not to feel offended, he deserved to be humbled. Edit: Typo
Fuck Jake. You did the right thing.
You didn’t fuck up, this needs to happen more often.
Lololol noice! Been there before, worst case scenario he gets all vengeful and makes even more of an ass of himself. Been there done that.
Tell him to call his mom
Hope this blows over soon. Jake will probs do the same shit again on clockwork
And dont let it get to you that your other coworker spoke his mind completely wrongly. He was always a scumbag deep down too and showed it
Don’t take a stance that you aren’t willing to keep, your real FU here is doing things half-assedly.
someone is not getting almond milk in their coffee
No fuck up here you did the right thing.
DO IT AGAIN
Now is your chance….establish office dominance…
Nope, you did the absolute right thing. Rocking the boat can be very beneficial career wise as long as its done for the right reasons.
This was not a fuck up. You were the only one with enough courage to say something. Hopefully, your courage will inspire others.
The problem here is that management has probably been looking the other way the entire time Jake has been a problem, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that management is toxic as well. We had a bully at my last job and once you cross him, you are on his shit list forever. He was quite fine treating people as less than human, refusing to acknowledge their existence when he wasn’t talking down to them. I made the mistake of asking him why he suggested measuring the resistance of a resistor that was in parallel to a shorted diode, and he did not like being questioned. I was then shunned. Management didn’t care much about his toxic behavior patterns, possibly because they didn’t care much about the workers in general themselves (poor lighting, no dedicated paint booth, no assistive devices for heavy lifting). I would ask yourself how happy you are working for your employer, and if you could find something comparable with a little effort.
Sticking with the “rocking boat” analogy, you aren’t the one rocking the boat. Jake is. The boat is already unstable because Jake’s behavior is rocking it, and instead of trying to keep the boat steady everyone else is just leaning side to side with the rocking and pretending the boat is still stable. So when you come along and try to stabilize the boat back to normal, it interrupts Jake’s rocking which gives the false impression of destabilization because it shocks the other people out of Jake’s rocking rhythm.
You did the right thing. Where is the FU?