TIFU by Trying to Get Frisky with My GF and Ruining It with a Freaking Bluetooth Speaker

So, yeah, I’m an idiot, and last night proved it. Posting this from my couch, where I’m currently hiding from my own stupidity. I (27M) have been with my girlfriend, Emily (26F), for like 8 months. Things are great, but she’s been dropping hints about wanting to “mix it up” in the, uh, bedroom department. I’m no Romeo, but I figured I’d step up and try something sexy. Spoiler: I crashed and burned.Yesterday, Emily’s working late, so I decide to surprise her when she gets home. I’m thinking, alright, let’s make it hot. I clean the apartment (kinda), light a couple of those cheap candles from Target, and dig out my old Bluetooth speaker for some mood music. I’m not a total caveman, so I queue up a “Sexy Vibes” playlist on Spotify—y’know, The Weeknd, D’Angelo, that kinda stuff. I’m feeling like a genius, picturing her walking in and being all over me.Emily gets home around 9, and she’s into it. She’s smiling, we’re kissing, clothes are coming off, and we’re stumbling toward the bedroom. I hit play on the speaker, and the music’s doing its job. We’re in the zone, things are heating up, and I’m thinking, “Hell yeah, I’m nailing this.” Then it all goes to shit.I forgot my Bluetooth speaker is a piece of junk from 2018 that randomly connects to my phone or my laptop, whichever it feels like screwing me over with. Mid-moment, as I’m trying to be all smooth, the music cuts out. I’m like, “Wtf?” and then—oh god—the speaker starts blasting my laptop audio. My laptop, which I left open in the living room, is apparently auto-playing a YouTube video I was watching earlier. And what’s the video? A freaking Gordon Ramsay cooking tutorial for beef Wellington.So there we are, half-naked, and Gordon Ramsay’s screaming, “IT’S RAW, YOU DONKEY!” at full volume. Emily freezes, looks at me, and just loses it laughing. I’m scrambling to grab my phone, but I knock over a candle, spill wax on the rug, and the speaker’s still going, “WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCE?!” I finally sprint to the living room, slam the laptop shut, and the speaker dies. Silence. I turn around, and Emily’s sitting on the bed, wheezing, tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.I try to salvage it, muttering, “Uh, wanna keep going?” but she’s too busy quoting Gordon Ramsay and calling me a “donkey” to take me seriously. We ended up just eating leftover pizza and watching The Office, because apparently I’m better at being Jim Halpert than Casanova. Emily’s been texting me Gordon Ramsay memes all day, and I’m pretty sure this is gonna be an inside joke forever.TL;DR: Tried to set a sexy mood for my GF with music, but my dumb Bluetooth speaker played a Gordon Ramsay rant instead, killed the vibe, and I spilled candle wax everywhere. Anyone else tank a romantic moment with stupid tech? Pls tell me I’m not this dumb alone.