There’s this girl in my friend group I’ve been crushing on forever. Yesterday at a BBQ, I overheard her say she loves guys who are “athletic and daring.” My dumb brain thought, Yes, now is the time to show off.
I’ve never done a backflip in my life. But fueled by adrenaline (and two beers), I climb onto a low retaining wall and announce I’m about to “do something epic.” Everyone’s watching. I jump, tuck, and immediately realize mid-air I have no idea how to land.
I slammed straight onto my back, knocking the wind out of me so hard I sounded like a dying walrus. The girl ran over, not in admiration, but in sheer panic because she thought I’d broken something.
Now my nickname in the group chat is “Human Pancake.” Still single, with a bruised ego and tailbone.
TL;DR: Nicknamed “Human Pancake” because of that bad flip.
Comments
Sounds like me in HS, but no beers needed
Good lord.
It’s going to be hard to get rid of the nickname. Probably harder than getting the girl.
Good luck an hope you’ve learned from this.
Ai
at least she cared enough to check on you
I mean… coulda broke your neck. That woulda been really embarrassing
“Athletic” hmm maybe not. “Daring”? Definitely.
Did you under or over rotate to land on your back?
You almost killed yourself dude. That is the real FU.
You didn’t break your neck. You’re good.
Silver lining: try to get a pancake promotion at your local Waffle House or IHOP
What girl wouldn’t wanna go home with the Human Pancake
Bro. Fucking “human pancake” made me belly laugh 🤣
At least your flop came with a nickname and a story
Someone near me tried doing a backflip in a basement off a chair. Broke his neck on the ceiling and passed away.
Lmao, “Hotcake Humano” is legendary. At least you went down swinging.
Do you know the number of times “hey watch this” has actually worked out? Scientists are still trying to quantify a number so small
Ahh. Beer. The ultimate lubricant for facilitating idiocy.