I (22M) have a huge crush on this girl from work. She’s funny, gorgeous, and casually mentioned last week that she loves spicy food. Naturally, my dumbass decided this was my opportunity to shine.
So today, I brought in some Carolina Reaper hot sauce I ordered online. Dumb move #1. During lunch, I offered her a dab on a chip. She tried it, said “That’s pretty hot,” and then looked at me.
Ego inflated, I said “Pfft, that’s nothing,” and dumped a quarter of the bottle on my sandwich to flex. Dumb move #2.
Thirty seconds in, I lost vision. Sweat poured down my neck. I hiccuped. My body straight-up rejected the sandwich. I tried to power through, then full-on vomited into my trash bin… in front of her.
She patted my back and said, “You didn’t have to almost die to impress me.”
I have never felt more emasculated and flattered at the same time.
TL;DR: Tried to impress crush with world’s hottest hot sauce. Ended up vomiting in front of her.
Comments
Look at the bright side… she admits you did, in fact, impress her.
Sounds like she likes you dude. One time I puked up 4 pork fajitas out of my apartment window infront of a bunch of girls. You never really live those moments down.
This’ll make a great wedding toast.
at least she was nice about it 😭
Have you tried just asking her out?
I dunno, back in my day we’d just get drunk, go out clubbing and whoever you woke up next to was your girlfriend for a bit.
More AI
As they say in Wayne’s World:
Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you’re gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
Grats to your new girlfriend
That is…hilarious.
Carolina reaper is ridiculous hot. Some more than others but it’s pretty hot.
Ah to be young and do stupid shit to impress girls.
I could talk about all the stupid things I’ve done to impress girls no matter how embarrassing they were in the moment they’re all fond memories.
Just laugh about it and enjoy life.
Sounds like it worked.
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Another ai bot. They are getting good though
If you understand Dutch watch this clip: https://youtu.be/1tm_MBe1M3s?si=rVDT-Nw8epR8gBrw
Nothing impresses a woman like confidence, commitment… and mild internal combustion
That’s pretty funny!
Hey ngl I’d rather have it unfold this way. That’s funny as shit, and also it seems like she doesn’t find you absolutely fucking disgusting for this, so you have a chance.
Well at least she knows you’re interested and didn’t outright reject you.
Hot sauce training arc time
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She was there for you after you did something stupid. That’s a very good sign.
On the bright side, she seems to like you. If you ask her out and don’t immediately throw up, she’ll be impressed by your relative composure.
Nothing impresses women more than a man eating hot sauce.
Everything I just typed is false. What is wrong with you?
That’s hilarious! I am a hot sauce enjoyer. I love some reaper hot sauce. I have ghost pepper and a bunch of others as well. The trick is to know what you can handle. There is a fine line between enjoying the flavor and heat and ruining your meal or even your day. There are very few people in this world whose body would not reject that much Reaper hot sauce. Even as often as I use it, it would wreck me. I probably wouldn’t vomit, but I would definitely have a bad case of volcano shits very soon after eating it. I know from experience after eating a ghost pepper burger while on vacation that was smothered in ghost pepper sauce. Easily the spiciest food I’ve ever eaten and the owner of the place said I was one of the only people he’s ever had completely finish one. Within an hour I was in immense pain on a toilet. My wife and kids still bring it up.
How exactly were you flattered?
But you got the girl right?
What are you in middle school? This is something a middle schooler would do lol
Here I can make you feel better. In highschool I was talking to my crush in class when my retainer fell out of my mouth and onto the floor. Smiling, she picked it up with her bare hands and said “here is your retainer” out loud. That was 16 years ago and I still randomly think about it and cringe.
Oh the stupidity of youth. It got us all man. Just remember you can find something in common with someone without having to go to extremes to prove it. Be yourself and if they can accept that person your road from there on out gets a lot easier.
You are a fool but perhaps she likes fools.
At least you got the dumbass part right.
Stop with the games. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Just be yourself and ask her out.
That is totally a 22 year old guy thing to do.
Don’t give up, she doesn’t hate you. Just didn’t do anything nuts in her presence anymore
Nah dude. She probably likes you even more after that.
Sure, from your perspective, it was embarassing, from her’s you’re hilarious.
Next time tho, don’t try to flex if you cant actually pull it off.
I knew she was the one when she caught my vomit in the popcorn bowl and then while I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth she disposed of it cleaned the bowl and made more popcorn for us to finish the movie and never said a word outside of making sure I was ok on my way to the bathroom.
Reminded me of the time I was having drinks with a girl and smoked weed to impress her. I can’t mix. Went outside to vomit in her trash bin. She came outside behind me and was like oh your puking. I thought we were going outside to make out. Oh well I’ve got mouthwash inside.
All she meant was she likes Mexican food.
Yeah that was not well calculated.
I’ve never understood why some people think it is impressing anyone to shove spicy food into your mouth.