TIFU by using my gf’s favorite nipple clamps to fix my car.
I’m a car guy, so a while back when my girlfriend’s Volvo was having some issues with the brakes, I wanted to help fix it for her. I wound up buying a pair of hose pincher clamps (guys I swear this is not an ad, I just wanted to link to an image so you can see what I’m talking about) at AutoZone, but didn’t end up needing to use them at the time. That evening, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, when, with the hose pinchers sitting on my desk and still in the packaging, I realized they’d be great nipple clamps. Fast forward more than two years, and we’ve gotten a lot of use out of them. They’re one of her favorite toys in the bedroom. She loves the weight and how the tightness can be adjusted.
A couple of days ago, I told her I’d be replacing the brake hoses on my Merkur, and she asked if I’d finally need to use the nipple clamps for their original purpose. I said, I might, and she said I could, if I really needed to. Well, needless to say, I took that as a yes, and I did use them to pinch the brake hoses and prevent too much brake fluid from escaping while I disconnected the lower ends of the old hoses and installed the new hoses.
Tonight, we were sorting through our sex toy collection doing some organizing, and she asks me where her favorite nipple clamps are. I told her that I had used them on the car, and they were sitting in the trunk with some other parts and tools.
She was very upset by this. Think, like, a small child when you tell them that you donated their favorite article of clothing to Goodwill because they don’t fit it anymore. She was inconsolable, absolutely heartbroken, that I’d used her favorite nipple clamps to fix the car and she’d never get them back again. I tried to comfort her, but to no avail. As I write this, she’s still moping about it. I am going to head to AutoZone first thing tomorrow morning to get another set.
Update:
I posted this right after it happened, and 20 minutes later, she was back to doing some work on her laptop, and apologized to me for getting so emotional over this, so this turned out to be not as big a deal as initially thought. The last few days have been very stressful and emotional for the both of us, for unrelated reasons, so this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. I went to the parts store and bought another set, and I brought the set I had used back inside and cleaned them. We’re all good now.
TL;DR
I used my gf’s favorite nipple clamps as the automotive tool they were originally meant to be and made her incredibly distraught.
Comments
At least they weren’t jumper cables.
In the two years you’ve been using them in the bedroom, you should’ve bought new ones… Definitely a FU
Well, I hope she puts the brakes on that thing you like the most.
“These make my GF really happy and horny. Let me put them on my broken car instead.” You’re never going to live this down. Major TIFU hahaha.
at least they weren’t jumper cables
Yeah… You didn’t… Clamp your rubber steel braided brake lines… Right… Cus that’s bit more of a expensive fu then new nipple clamps..
Why the meltdown? Just buy a new set or clean them.
There you go, both your potential fluid leaks are now solved.
Damn, I understand why she was hurt.
I don’t think minimizing her feelings or likening her to a child is a smart move if you value this relationship. You knew how much she enjoyed using this sex toy with you and rather than going to AutoZone, you decided to ruin them and the ability for the two of you to engage in this type of intimacy. How would you feel if she destroyed something precious to you for her convenience? How would you feel if she destroyed a symbol of your intimacy because it was slightly more convenient than not slapping you in the face? How would you feel if once you couldn’t hide how bad she hurt you, she likened you to a child and bought you a “shut up” replacement that has none of the sentimental value?
You just told her through your actions that she’s not worth the time and effort to drive to AutoZone. No wonder she’s “inconsolable, absolutely heartbroken”. You told her how much you don’t care about her.
You are the second person i’ve seen mention a Merkur on Reddit today, and while it’s not alot, it’s weird it’s happened twice.
Amazon is suddenly out of stock! You should request a percentage for the sales pitch.
[deleted]
Alright.. thats enough reddit for now..
girl agrees to thing, guy does thing, girl mad guy did thing she agreed to, am I missing something. Can’t you just clean them off and use them for whatever you want? lmao this is so blown out of proportion
This is the strangest stealth marketing campaign I’ve ever seen
OP… ya goofed. Hope you find them somewhere else. 🤭
https://preview.redd.it/fn0eu2bxqn7f1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=d3ffd5efd51b57cad51603f9131c9a5ba1aa8cbc
Rookie mistake.
If she ever says “You can do (x) if you really need to.” You can bet your ass she means “FUCK NO, but I’m trying not to sound controlling.”
“Yes…if you really need to” AKA “don’t”.
Can’t believe you left out the most important part of the story:
XR4Ti or Scorpio?
(Maybe worth it if it’s a decent XR with a manual transmission…)
Dude. If you can use the phrase “girlfriends favorite nipple clamps”, you don’t fuck that up!
have you gotten it already?
https://preview.redd.it/zrf1x2v3co7f1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=a433c6d86439583db08bff1f6e1ef792fe0053b0
Them things look too blocky, like you could do some damage on one of the corners.
This is a good post, and you should feel good.
Take her with you so she can try them on to get the best fit. The guys at AutoZone won’t mind a bit and may have some recommendations.
This post is worthless without pics of their intended usage. 😃
these amazon ads are getting out of control
Further proof you can’t not be specific when it comes to telling a man anything.
Be direct. Don’t want him to use your nip clamps for brake line clamps, say so. Not vague…if you need to….
Men…Taking things at face value, since the beginning of time….
Heading to AutoZone for some sex toys. I would love to be the guy at teh register when you come thru. (I used to work at AZ as a parts delivery during COVID)
I wanna know if the clamps were out of stock on Amazon before or after this post
Get in the zone, auto erotic zone!
Are you dating a 5 year old?
My favourite part of this is now product in the link is out of stock.
r/brandnewsentence
I guess I’m still not awake since I read “Horse Pincher Clamps” and expected something a bit more robust when I followed that link.
This whole post had me at “using my gf’s favorite nipple clamps”.
I know this isn’t a ad but… Could we please get a brand name on those nipple clamps?
>bought another set
Use all 4 of them to make up for it
But can’t you just…go get them from the trunk? Am I missing something here?
Damn, Sold out
She really said not the sacred clamps 😭 honestly tho this is peak chaotic couple energy
Uh huh. Sure, Jan.
I don’t understand, she gave you the go-ahead and you fucked up? Was she bluffing?
Visit a sex-shop
Ai slop story
I also choose this guy’s girlfriend.
… you bought nipple clamps at auto zone? They must not have that section at my local one.
Wait… Why did you bring the old ones inside for cleaning!? Those stay on the car, the NEW ones go on the GF.
Nipple clamp issues aside, props for being masochistic enough to own and maintain a Merkur.
Sales of hose pinchers suddenly go thru the roof.
just wait till you see what a 2 inch trailer ball is good for .
Oops, nipple clamps to car fix buy new ones quick!
I keep wanting to use the suction cup on a dildo to pull a dent in the car but my partner won’t let me.
This is the strangest and best advert for AutoZone clamps I’ve ever read
A Merkur? Damn don’t see many of those anymore, what kind?
The real lesson here is as we get older and more tuned in to our S/O you see when their stressors starts to stack up. You learn to help manage things for them and not be the one that sends them over the edge. I’ve got 20 years of experience and still miss the mark here and there.
shes asked…you did it…and she got upset?
what?
Don’t mess with a lady’s toys 🤭
Kudos for having and maintaining the Merkur. I was always so intrigued by those when I was a teenager, and even moreso as an adult.
Next time. Just use a vice grip with some sort of rubber on the teeth. Crack the bleeder tighten it till it stops leaking DO NOT CRUSH IT FULLY there’s steel woven in there and if you pinch it you’ll need a new hose! Then leave the nipple clamps alone
Woman: Tells man thing is ok to do
Man: does thing
Woman:
Internet: “Its the man’s fault for not listening”
Wait, why did you clean the set you used on the car and bring it inside instead of just using the new ones inside?
Hey man as a fellow Merkur owner nothing comes between me and my XR4ti
Like, ngl if my partner did this that would be my last straw 😅
https://preview.redd.it/f1wm7k1xat7f1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5142b83eca08f493c1d846a573a1e7a16bbbab9f
Y’all literally bought all the hose clamps to the point they’re out of stock!
I’m atheist and I suggest you to seek god
You got an XR4TI OP?
Merkur? XR4TI?
Simple solution: Give up two pair of Vise Grips as a sacrifice.
One of the few things my oblivious and idiotic butt has learned with my short experience in relationships.
Folks can get attached to toys and that’s not a bad thing.
If anything, you were able to get something your partner enjoyed. Maybe in the future, get a dedicated set for her and/or have a rule that once it’s used intimately, it can’t be used for anything else.
Sincerely, a fool that used partner’s toys on trigger points, voice changer on chat and once, to pretend to be a unicorn. Painfully lessons learned.
These do not look comfortable at all.
She’ll live.