TIFU by wearing grey athletic shorts out of the house

I had some last minute shopping to do for Mother’s day dinner today. I showered and went to get dressed. Didn’t feel like putting on jeans or anything, so I grabbed a pair of grey athletic shorts, because they were at the top of the stack in my dresser, and tossed them on. My wife came upstairs and I asked her “These are fine to wear out to the grocery store, right?”

In my defense, I’m a bit socially inept. I’m nice to people and try to be friendly, but I don’t necessarily understand social nuances. I’ve heard women talk about “grey sweatpants season” and “grey sweatpants are like lingerie for guys.” I own grey sweatpants but I’ve never worn them outside of the house. I don’t usually wear athletic shorts outside either, aside from exercising. But I never understood the connection to grey sweats.

So my wife says to me “Absolutely not. You can’t wear those out, change.” I didn’t understand why, so I asked. She said “I can see your package. Like completely. There’s nothing left to the imagination.” I didn’t believe her but she took a picture on her phone and showed me. Sure enough, I might as well have not been wearing anything. My first reply was “But I wore these to pick our daughter up from school last week?” (In my defense, I was dead tired and just threw on some comfy shorts and a hoodie and came home asap.) She burst out laughing. It started to register in my head. “Wait, so all the other parents at school last week saw my junk?” She showed me the picture again and continued laughing. I changed, and went to the grocery store thinking about all of the decisions I’ve made in life up to this point.

TLDR I unintentionally picked up my kid from school wearing shorts that showed off my package and now I’m going to overthink everything I ever wear again.