When I was younger I had a traumatic sexual experience(not sexual assault) and im not coping well.
This is an alt but i would post what happened in details just to get people opinions on it and a lot of creeps would message. At first I ignored it but then I started talking to this dude today. He is fucking disgusting he has very illegal kinks and he knows I’m 16(he is 38). Yet I still talked to him and then i send pictures. I’m hyper sexual sometimes and I guess im not fully sure what going on just that im confused.
I feel so much fucking shame from doing this. He kept saying how he got over his sexual assault because he now enjoys it and tells me that i should enjoy those memories and I wanted it. It terrible but in some way it was comforting to talk to this dude, even though he is obviously a terrible man. I just can’t believe i did this i am not coping well at all fuck. I don’t know what wrong with me wh y would I do that. I mean I deleted all the videos and pictures but still i feel so disgusted.
It was kinda comforting to talk to him though which is the most disgusting part, I think im just so lonely i dont leave my house and I only talk to family.
I really dont know what wrong with me why would i do this
We talked for over 3hrs
I hate myself that.
TLDR – I talked to a creep and acted badly.
Comments
Ask your parents to book you in with a therapist/councillor, whatever works. And don’t be hesitant to try a different one if you don’t really vibe with the first.
You should seek therapy so you can deal with this trauma properly and learn ways to properly cope with it.
Do not fool yourself into thinking you can just cope your way out of trauma like this.
And stop talking to men who are twice your age. He’s a creep, but you’re also not helping your situation by sending grown adults pictures and talking to men like that.
The odds he is trying to groom you are very high when considering your age gap.
Block him, tell your parents, and consider contacting the police.
Tell your parents. You didn’t fuck up he shouldn’t have been asking you for nude pictures.