TIFU Dumped my first GF for a burrito.

Well not exactly today but I still messed up.

Back in elementary school I had a GF let’s call her Joy. Me and joy did the normal stuff like giving valentine day cards, meet up after school to spend 5 minutes talking and cheek kisses etc. We were young and I was dumb. Being a new kid to the school with a brand new first girl friend I felt like the shit. (Gotta love young minds)

At lunches I was a fat butt. Always asked my friends and other people who never ate thier lunch if I can have it. Killed 5 chocolate milk cartons in minutes! My favorite meal of all time was the burritos they sold at lunch in the cafeteria. Not hard like a microwave burrito but not at all like prestige and boujee. But I never straight up took anyone’s food I’d always ask if they’re not gonna touch it.

My friend (Mark) knows I’ll damn near do anything for food and waited for me to ask. At the time I didn’t know it but he had a crush on her as well.

When I walked up and asked “do you want your burrito?” He replied “you can but you have to dump JOY infront of the entire lunch room and tell them that you’re doing it for a burrito”. (Looking back now that was so stupid) the only thing I knew about love was LL Cool J and Akon.

I stood up, raised my chest with ALLLLL confidence and announced “ Joy I’m breaking up with you for this burrito!!” Everyone was shocked but damn I loved that burrito. Sadly I never heard of a R&B track about loving a burrito but if there ever was. It would be NSFW how I felt about it. I broke her heart and tried so hard to make it up to her because dumb young me thought she would get the joke and everything will be okay.

We tried to date again later on but we eventually found to kind of laugh and move on. We gotten older, wiser, and still are really tight friends. I still regret what I did to her when I was young but now I’m glad we are still friends.

.. unless you have a burrito willing to trade? 😂

TL;DR: I traded my ex in elementary school for a burrito cause I’m fat.