For the last 2 fucking years, I’ve been going into office 3 days a week. Each of those days started with me stepping into an elevator to the 14th floor and ended with me coming off the elevator at the 1st floor. In between there are countless times where I’d use the elevator for lunch or whatever occasion I need to step out for.
Without fail, everytime I have ever been in this elevator alone. I’d do some goofy shit because it’s my own personal space.
Sometimes I’d dance to whatever song is playing in my earbuds, if it’s lil Wayne I’d do throwing money gestures. If it’s benson boon I’d do an air guitar and sing out LOUD – imagine the high note of “PLEAAASE” in beautiful things.
2 years I’ve been doing goofy shit like this, including throwing it back and catching myself doing it and laughing out loud saying “Bruh I’m actually stupid af”
Today, I walked towards the elevators like usual and found myself alone in it once again… so, I Looked at the elevator’s mirror and started posing like I’m in a body building contest. Started yelling out “LOOK AT YOU! Yeaaah! BIG MAN ON THE SCENE! grunt “POSE SWITCH” another grunt “THE MUSCLE! 😩 ” GRUNT “THE DEFINITION! 🤯 “
Then the elevator doors opened so I gave myself the finger guns 👉👉 in the mirror as I regained my composure before I conducted myself professionally as I walked into the office. I know you’re already judging, I would NEVER do this in public but genuinely speaking these little moments brighten up my day sometimes because I get to act a fool. I live my day to day life pretty restrained and this is one way for me to ease up the tension a bit.
Outside of that elevator I swear to god you would NEVER expect this from me. I’m so stuck up at work and know the corporate lingo to a fault.
I’m the guy who talks about action items, meeting agendas and product life cycles.
I greet everyone with a good morning and “have a wonderful night!”…including security.
Well today as I left the office a bit earlier than usual. The security clerk spotted me walking towards the exit from a distance and I shit you not he yelled out word for word “PRAH! BIG MAN ON CAMPUS!”
The way my face flushed
I said “Pardon me?”
He said “Oh sorry I was talking to my colleague”
“Oh…”
“Have a good night!”
Gives me finger guns
Bruh they can fire my ass IDGAF , I am NEVER working from office again until he retires at least.
TLDR: Forgot about elevator cameras and acted like a goofball for 2 years while security was eating popcorn.
Comments
Been there done that. I mean, who hasn’t had a “oh shit” moment realizing we weren’t as private as we thought? What’s the most unexpected audience you’ve had for your… unique performances?
Don’t let them steal your joy.
They probably get bored as hell and enjoy the entertainment. Shit’s probably the highlight of their day, keep doing it.
There was a long hallway connecting my part of the building to a storage area. I can not tell you how many times I used the “privacy” of that space to hike up my tights (under my skirt). One day I looked up and saw the “bubble” that indicates a security camera. Ugh. So dumb.
If I was your security guys, you’d be the highlight of my day. I bet you have brought them so many giggles and joy over the years 🙂
i get it man. years ago i was out drinking in a college town and had to take a leak. walked back an alley, then back another alley off that alley and found a good spot. started doing my business and i hear keys behind me. security gaurd asked what im doing. i say “just checking out the scenery”. He goes “ok, im just letting you know your peeing directly in front of our camera. have a good night”…….
You’re probably that security guy’s favorite person.
No judgement; be your goofy elevator self without shame
are you kidding? i would be so hype as the security guard every time you got on the elevator. you probably give them a big elevator smile every time you give YOURSELF a big elevator smile!
next time, do a shoutout to them, or dedicate a pose to them.
You’re brightening up the day for security as well as yourself. Keep going bro!
He was stoked!! Sounds like he’s having fun with you not at you. I’d smile and just know that someone sees you and thinks you are rad.
Going down the elevator to work? Mark, have you completed Cold Harbor?
You’re the highlight of the day for those guys
Keep it up
You’ve probably given him so much happiness. But I get that the magic is probably gone lol
ahh I remember being silly like this when i was 14 too.
Ahhh crap, now I’m thinking back to my first boyfriend in college. We made out in the elevator and got a bit too frotty 😳
You brighten their day more than you brighten your own. Own it.
Dude! There’s a YouTube channel with all those recordings! It’s a riot. Has like 500k followers.
Not really, but wouldn’t that be hilarious? 😂
I would bet they’ve kept the recordings and they’ve made their way onto youtube.
Bro really thought he had a private stage when security been watching a full-on sitcom this whole time 💀 they probably got favorite episodes and everything
I think you just gotta laugh at yourself bro
Act like you’ve been doing it for them all along. Leaning into it like a joke makes them part of it
Should be: TIFU by admitting I listen to Benson Boone on purpose.
I had just started working at a retail store. Had a new bra that was digging in to the side of my boob. Didn’t have time to go all the way upstairs and across to use the employee bathroom. So I stepped into a little room where we kept office supplies etc. lifted my shirt, bit a tiny hole in the edge of my bra and yanked the underwire out on both sides. Yeah…I was young and stupid. Of course there will be cameras everywhere. Just as I was leaving the room (it didn’t take long) my work phone rings. Loss prevention, just thought you would want to know there is a camera in the supply closet. I never looked him in the eyes again lmao
Security been watching a whole sitcom called Elevator Chronicles: Big Man Edition 💀 season finale just dropped and you starred in it with finger guns
Let you in on what really isnt much of a secret since I work security at a desk in a large building, all of our elevators have cameras. And to make it even better most of the cameras have sound. Generally speaking the sound is turned off on our end unless we see soemthing going on and turn it on to listen. I have seen some mild to wild shit in the elevators. Favorite was a guy pulled his wifes sun dress over her head to play with her boobs, they got on somewhere around the 19th floor and I saw him hit the L for Lobby button. She was pointing at the cameras saying “Dipshit their are cameras” he said something like “No one watches those”. I was standing there as it hit the lobby, when the door opened I said “Yes we do watch those” and walked away. She was crying laughing, but he turned fire engine red. I got a good laugh out of it.
Edit: Yes we also have a popcorn machine in our office, but no worries stuff like that actually brightens our day, we get a good laugh out of it.
Flip it on them – you’ve been doing it for them all this time and it has taken them this long to acknowledge your daily performance!
Man don’t overreact, that security guard watches monitors all day and is bored out of their skull.
They see people pick their nose, pull wedgies, scratch their ass and sniff their fingers.
You just made a friend, whip those guns out and let him have it every time you see him.
Live your life Big Man.
The only move is to play FOR them and play it HARDER. You need to write scenes. Act it out. Have music. To retrospective movie scenes: “Stella!!!”
“Game over man!” “You talkin’ to me?”
All of it. Go big in the elevator.
I’ve worked with building security a lot. People like you give them smiles and laughs. Security is an extremely boring job for the most part. I’d start giving finger guns every time I walked by them! It could be your little inside joke!
Do it more aggressively while making eye contact with the camera.
In all seriousness, I’ve worked in one of those behind the scenes types of jobs. It brings us joy to see people act like people. Never once did I ever think, “what a goober, I’m gonna make fun of them.” Usually it was, “can’t wait to tell my husband about this quirky human moment.”
It sounds like you might be in a corporate or office type of position. I guarantee, the security guys like you better than any of the other people in the office.
Dude, this is awesome, why even be embarrassed? I’d give this person the finger-gun salute as a personal greeting next time and maybe even throw in a little flex every now and then. Harmless goofy shit is good for you, and we all do it. Enjoy an opportunity to break up the monotony of the day.
Once my roommate told me he and his girlfriend had sex in the elevator. I don’t think they had cameras in those days.
https://youtube.com/shorts/q5MsJ-CXF4Y?si=YZiBEHXzFqAURsZ7
Reminded me of this. Lol
What!? How is this a FU?
Dude you need to own this shit now, you KNOW you have a captive audience when you use the elevator.
You now get to have one-way conversations with security every day. You’ve got like a dedicated elevator best-friend.
If I was you, I’d look up a bunch of safe-for-work jokes and from now on I’d tell jokes and say dumb shit to security.
Or like, bring props and shit, just to fuck with them. Bring an inflatable pool toy in your brief case and keep it hidden until you get on the elevator, then put it on/inflate it while you ride the elevator, then pop/deflate it before you get off, and put it back.
C’mon dude, you have to own this shit, this is too good to pass up.
2 years!!! You’ve done it, and brightened THEIR day and YOUR day for 2 years!!!
Don’t stop now. Own it. Step it up, and actually acknowledge them on occasion. Have you ever just stood and watched how others interact towards others of the same ‘standing’ and then towards security? Security could be potted plants for all a lot of people care 🤷🏼♀️
Like, they’re there for their (Upper floors) benefit. 🙄
Take a little speaker with you. Have a playlist for the week…………. Macho man Monday. Time warp Tuesday. We will rock you Wednesday. Thunderstruck Thursday. Fight for your right Friday!!! 👉🏻👉🏻 💪🏻💪🏻 👈🏻👈🏻
Honestly you being goofy and relaxed while it did bring them a few laughs probably made their nights and see you as a ‘real person’ instead of just another stuffy office worker (not that all office workers are that way but just from how you said).
>these little moments brighten up my day sometimes because I get to act aloof
That’s not what aloof means.
lean into it and purposefully give em a show.
Dude! You’ve likely been making their day better.
Queue the guessing game of what’s that song on the earbuds?
You’ve got nothing to worry about.
Don’t be ashamed. Own it and keep doing it! At least you weren’t masturbating, or picking your news or something disgusting!
Aerosmith could have done lunch in an elevator but they decided it wasn’t catchy enough.
Bro, you are now obligated to step it up a notch.
> brighten up my day sometimes because I get to act aloof
Btw “aloof” means the opposite of what you’re thinking. When someone is aloof they are kinda distant, don’t care about anything, a bit antisocial.
Either aloof doesn’t mean what you think it means or it autocorrected from “a fool” which is funny.
Oh hell yeah getting in good with the security guys. You got a private audience for your fun sir
Awwwwww, that security guard gas just ruined his fun and yours. You’ll never be that free in the elevator again! 🙁 🙁
Trust me though, he LOVES watching your antics, it’s wholesome and cheerful, he’s trying to share that with you, I know why you’re embarrassed but he hasn’t done it too embarrass you.
NGL, this is wholesome as hell 🙂 Keep doing your thing OP!
So… OP, this is me in grocery stores. Own it and have fun buddy lol. You never know that your little goofiness may have made someone’s day. Don’t apologize for being you… Big man! 👉🏿
Keep doing it. I’d look forward to you every day
Time to work on your next elevator one man show as a security guard. Give em a good laugh
Nah bruh, security loves that shit. They probably tell each other OP’s in the elevator doing his shit and they all come running. Just own it.
Listen to me, as someone who works retail you were probably one of the best people they get to interact with in the day.
Nothing is better than a positive person being nice to you because you simply are nice. It’s uplifting and it’s a reminder that humanity is ultimately good regardless of what the social media algorithms want us to believe.
I would assume everybody takes a moment in private to just unwind. The security guard having known you was probably just teasing as a sign of trust and playfulness. Not judging or making fun of you.
He saw your performance and was assumed enough to try and humor with you. Just play into it the next time you see him.
“Big man here checking in 🫡” or something silly in that nature. Make a small joke about forgetting how monitored we are or you got to enjoy the little things.
Wish him a good day and don’t sweat it. Worst case scenario start busting out some moves as you walk away from the desk to established dominance.
Security guy here! Those elevators don’t hide noise either. Anyone close to the doors on any floor can likely hear you yelling between floors. Also we keep a folder of all the good footage FOREVER.
Dude. OWN IT they love you now. Give that man finger guns every fucking morning with a giant smile on your face.
Bring enjoyable to be around and a little whimsical makes your professional life easier – that’s something I’m learning just now
Early in my corporate career I was alone in an elevator and gratefully ripped ass to relieve immense amounts of pressure built up. Then I realized that it could stop on any floor and my colleagues could walk on and know that it was me. So I hastily hit the number of the next floor, door opens. I hustle out and some poor fool who I didn’t know stepped in. As the doors were closing, I heard him groan with great regret.
You’re so famous right now. Security guy goes over his day with his wife at home and includes the cool new thing you tried that day.
Super embarrassing but so satisfying that someone was getting some joy from your silliness. I do crazy stuff when I’m alone too!
Next time, do it while staring at the security cam 😂
Dude nobody can judge you. PLEASE keep your inner child happy and you’ll avoid a lot of adult traumas. Also the security guard should be your friend now.
life is short. i’ll moonwalk in my office elevator today in your honor
Haha. Get in on their joke and be their pal. Make funny signs and hold them up to the camera. Look at the camera while you do stupid shit. They’ll appreciate it.
I think you have to go twice as hard now. Gotta own it and not disappoint the fans.
AI shit
Years ago we had two auditors, late 40s dude and 30 something female. Absolute hard asses, I’m talking flashlight to look at rafters, climbing up on machines catwalks, getting down on the floor to see under the skirts of machines, paperwork from years ago being called up to be scanned, no humor, almost no comments other than a stern thank you for holding doors or bringing boxes of paperwork to them. Our plant is close to a Walmart, and after work at like 11 pm I drove all the way across town to the other Walmart to get something that the close one was out of, and I see her standing on the front of a shopping cart with him running and jumping on the back and see them giggling like kids streaking across the isles… I ducked out quick before they saw me and told a couple people but no one believed me. I was able to tolerate them so much easier the rest of the week because of that tho.
You made their day though! Just go with the laugh because it’s funny AF and probably brightens everyone’s day. You know, except yours. Mine though for sure!
Bro own it.. next time do the goofy shit to the camera. Don’t ever let anybody discourage you from being you, weirdness included.
Own it and don’t stop, you’re probably the only good part of their day!
TIL my building’s doorman probably knows I pretend to telekinetically control the elevator every time I’m alone in it.
I do it really dramatically too, like, less Obi-Wan Kenobi and more Eleven from Stranger Things.
Not even a TIFU, this. This is how the one guy who security genuinely looks forward to seeing every day got his start. Their highlight reel features you as the star.
Idk man as a human I love seeing humans in their most uninhibited nature. We are all so reserved in public and most people don’t get to see that side of us. He probably enjoys it, it might be the best part of his day.
Take them donuts and coffee
You’re going to be buddies
i’d be a stoic statue every time i stepped on the elevator after that. even if security was secretly enjoying it, once you mention it, you ruin the fun for both of us.
If it gives you a little bit of joy in your day, keep doing it man! Fuck it…do it next time someone is riding with you. Bet they’ll get a laugh too and you can spread a little joy!
Absolutely lean into this, and make it an inside joke with security. Ham it up for them, and give a little nod to the camera or something. Make both your days brighter from now on
You should keep doing it.
Get a superhero mask something you can quickly fit in your pocket as the doors are opening.
Play bye bye bye while doing the dance like Deadpool.
Ask security for a clip, post here. Lol
You are probably the highlight of his day… Smile and wave, make friends, invite him to the next BBQ…
Janitors, Security and the handyman are generally the thankless jobs. Most people can’t name them even though they’re always present and got yer back if something goes wrong.
Dude, those security guards love you. Don’t stress it
Just fucking own it man, walk up to the desk and do that shit live in front of them. They’ll either call to get you placed on a mental hold or they’ll respect you and it will become a d inside job, your milage may very lol
No do not quit. You were not only brightening your day when you did those things, you brightened his too. Bring a donut or something for him tomorrow, laugh with him about it, ask him if he has any song requests for your next elevator ride, and move on with your day. Trust me – you are this guard’s favorite.
It’s adorable 🥰 keep being you
Dude! Firstly, congratulations on being a successful professional. Secondly, I am dead sure that security actually likes you more for allowing your ‘outside of professional work’ persona to show. He probably called out in a friendly collegial manner. 🙂
You are a person with interests and humour and quirks. Don’t be embarrassed – it is what makes you awesome. Just keep being your professional self and have a little grin about your elevator escapades from the past…and say good morning dudes to the security people in the elevator each morning. 🙂
I worked security and I can 100% confirm that you are their favorite person. Stuff like that lifts a dull day. You are the highlight of their job, the reason they smile when they talk about their workweek with their family.
Boss move would be to just keep on doing it.
Give them finger guns whenever you see ’em.
Obviously the correct move was to finger guns back. It’s only right
Yeah no way, you should go be friends with that guy. Buy him a ham for Christmas if you’re like a 14th floor big shot. That guy would take a bullet for you
I saw it coming and could barely finish reading from secondhand embarrassment.
I work security – countless others have already made this point but this would be the highlight of my day. Don’t stop being you 🙂
Lean in. See if they can make a goof roll of you in the elevator. That sounds like a legit video I’d watch, unstaged stupor!
Thanks for the laugh
Who cares? Act the fool, you ain’t hurtin’ no body. It is like getting caught singing in the car.
Go for it! I danced like Tina Turner complete with my version of high Hicks for the security guards on camera.
I got caught dancing in the elevator by security. I didn’t know the elevator was live recording, I’m practicing my bellydance moves and vibeing on this song. I been practicing for the entire month of June nonstop… Then after power shimmies, hip circles and dancer hands, I hear “Werk it” on the radio.
I died inside.
Just give him the finger guns next time you go in. Lean into it. Hell, learn his name and be like “Hey Larry!! Happy Friday, big dawg!” Or whatever next time you’re in the elevator
You’re Mr. HBO to them, keep it up!
I would totally make this an in-joke with the security guys and turn that elevator into my personal comedy stage for them.
Joy for all parties.
And it’d show that you’ve got awesome self-confidence.
Lmfao, that is not a fuck up. You should’ve played along with him though.
Speaking as the wife of a security officer, they LOVE that shit!! They get bored as hell watching security cams and love the fun. Embrace it, bro. Just give him a wink and nod and “damn right” with finger guns back at him. You’ll be his favorite, develop a bit of a friendship, and have some fun. Embrace it ♥️🙃
This is the most lame tifu I’ve ever read. I thought AI was supposed to be good at this kind of writing. Apparently not, judging by this shit.
Dude. OWN it. Finger guns them every time you see them. Say hi to them by name at the camera in the elevator.
Go to work. It’s not that bad.
The Truman show elevator edition get yours today!
OK so first of all, if you’re the guy who is constantly talking about corporate speak like action items and synergy, then you are exactly who I would expect to be hyping themselves up in the elevator
But seriously, if you lean into this, you’re essentially de facto buddies with security now. That is worth it’s weight in gold.
They saw a person having fun and appreciated it enough to get in on it with you. You didn’t FU, you made someone’s day.
Own it. Run with it. Be the big man. (Finger guns)
This is actually adorable. Dude, live your best life and do your elevator moves with abandon!
no no no… you OWN this. Keep doing it! You’re having fun! We’re allowed to have fun! Bring the security guards snacks or coffee or something. Crack inside jokes with them. Watch the episode of Supernatural with Charlie dancing in the elevator where EVERYONE can see her to Walking on Sunshine! Seriously, keep it up.
ETA: my previous workplace has a tv for security cameras in a few different places. I called the warehouse manager and complained there was nothing good on tv… he talked one of the warehouse workers into dancing in front of the cameras. Best day ever.
This isn’t the time to quit! You’re only just getting started. You’ve gotta go bigger, bolder… Start incorporating props or a serialised narrative
Please don’t stop doing this.
Now that you know you have an audience you really should step up your game.
That’s amazing! Everyone hates the security guard that revealed to u they were watching & made u stop
Once when I was younger, my friend and I went shopping in Downtown Nashville and we parked in a garage. We took the elevator down to the Main Street. It happened to be my birthday…when we got into the elevator we started singing and dancing crazily. Singing the Beatles old song “They say it’s your birthday”. Again acting stupid playing drums and air guitar. Doors opened we straightened up and went about our business. We come back a few hrs later, get in vehicle to leave and pull up to pay for parking….the guys in the parking booth said oh look it’s the singers and dancers from the evaluator. Then asked us whose birthday it is? We were horrified. Apparently they had new security system installed that allow them to not only see video but hear everything too.
You have your own bodyguards and didn’t know it. Those guys love you and can’t wait for you to get on the elevators. Don’t let them down! They’ll be so bummed.