basically i forgot it was mother’s day today, and then i realized and i started panicking, (i’m 15 and i don’t have a job) but then my dad got my mom some flowers, a card, and some chocolates, so i figured i didn’t have to get her anything, but a couple minutes ago, she came downstairs and started crying and said “out of all my kids none of y’all got me anything, you go out of your way for your girlfriends, friends etc, i feel like shit” so yeah i don’t know what to do right now, and she has been staying locked in her room all day
i don’t know if i should get her something now, or if it would just look like bad?? i feel like it would look like i was only getting it for her cause she yelled at me
TL;DR: i was an asshole who couldn’t care to buy their mom anything
(i’m a girl)
edit: i’m going to target tomorrow, i’ll get her some roses and a card (y’all can stop commenting about your goody-two-shoes three year olds smh)
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Idk bro, I get where she’s coming from. But if you’re 15 and without a job, I feel like it shouldn’t be expected of you.
When I was younger we use to buy presents collectively as hey these flowers are from dad and us ya know then when I made money I started doing shit for mums
i would write her a letter and/or make her a homemade card and apologize if this was me. make it heartfelt and truly apologize to her. that’s better than doing nothing at all
Do better next time
Do better next time! At 15, you are plenty old to ask your Dad to help you get your Mom a present. Even just a card with some nice words about your Mom. I don’t know your Mom but I bet she makes your birthday and holidays special for you and she doesn’t ever forget!
It’s too late to get her something this year. But maybe her birthday is coming up and you can make it up to her? Or maybe you can get her some flowers as a surprise in the next couple of weeks. Tell her how sorry you are and it won’t happen again.
I can almost guarantee it’s not about the things, either. She wants her family to acknowledge her a couple times a year! Maybe start acknowledging everything she does for you on a regular basis, instead of waiting for holidays? I bet more than anything, she wants to feel appreciated.
Write her a letter right now. Just speak from the heart. Tell her what you love and appreciate about her. And remember her for next year. (Do you have basic baking supplies at home? Surprising her with cupcakes or something would be nice. Or make her breakfast and coffee before she’s awake tomorrow?)
I’m going to say this gently. Your mom’s reaction is a bit over the top for her kids forgetting this day. It seems like there’s more to this and she’s at a breaking point. Locking herself away seems too big of a reaction for this and she’s probably overwhelmed or stressed about things (things that are typically invisible to the average teenager).
Unless she’s always like this, I think the best thing to do here is:
I hope she feels the love soon!
Don’t let it go, do something nice for her even though it may be a day late. Make dinner, or take her on a picnic, or do an extra chore. Get her a candle and some bath salts, or flowers, or make her cookies. Any small gesture will be appreciated. Do it with a sincere apology and try to do better next year. She’s your mom, she loves you, it will be ok.
I don’t know man, your mother is over-reacting and it’s low-key manipulative.
I’m sure your mother is great and all, but you’re a kid. There’s no reason to react this strongly to this.
That being said, money or not, just make her a hand made mothers day card and put some effort into it. if you’re not exactly artistic, you can find designs online.
Depending on your relationship with your mother, you can also just tell her that while you don’t have any money to get her anything, you’d like to have a day. Maybe walk some trails or in a park or something nice
My kids are younger than you (my oldest is 11) and they all made me something without prompting from their dad. I get that it’s hard to buy something if you don’t have money but I guarantee you a letter you wrote or card you made would have been enough.
Apologize to her and do something nice for her. It’s not about the material gift it’s the thought. Make her favorite dessert or over to help with chores you don’t normally help with. Let her know she is appreciated and loved.
I’m a mom. I get it, but I would never expect gifts or guilt trip my kids for not getting me anything. It’s…. tacky and materialistic?
Today I asked that we get flowers together and plant them. I just want to spend time with my kids. I like sharing the day with them because they’re why I am a mama. My husband tries to make the day special and I appreciate it, but I don’t need stuff to feel loved. I really appreciate the recognition and I’m fortunate to feel that on days other than Mother’s Day.
The only f up you could be guilty of is not spending time with her today. Go give her a hug, thank her for being an awesome mom and that you love her everyday. Then you work on showing your appreciation more often. Even if your mom’s love language is gifts, there are so many ways you can express your love and gratitude without buying her stuff. You’re still a kid and you don’t have a job. Hopefully she understands this.
My son didn’t get me anything for Mothers Day, but he went out of his way to make me feel special. He’s 11.
Honey, as a mom, here’s a free “gift” I’d love. Write her a letter / card / sweet note about some memory you have that includes your mom that’s special to you, or about how much you appreciate her (bonus points if you can I include something specific you appreciate about her / what she does for you). Or an offer to do something for her that’s she’d appreciate: I’d love a homemade coupon for “lunch out together” or “wash or detail your car” or “play the board game / watch the movie of your choice” (I love board these activities; what does your mom enjoy?). What makes it special is that 1. You’re showing you know her, have been paying attention – because it will be specific to her. And 2. You’re giving her the gift of your time – and showing her you want to spend time with her.
You’ve got this!
Edited for yet another typo 🙄
Write her a sincere letter. Tell her everything you love about her as a mother and apologize for taking her for granted. Tell her how badly you feel that you hurt her and that you’re going to do better from now on because you want her to feel just how much she means to you. You’re young, it happens, but you can still salvage this a bit by at least letting her know how badly you feel for hurting her. Otherwise, she’s probably going to assume you just don’t care. I think a thoughtful letter can go a long way.
Take a page from my brother’s book. Write her a long heartfelt letter, promise to do better, sign it off lovingly. I get my mom a thoughtful gift every year but she loves the letters more lol.
Write her a note telling her what you appreciate about her.
Consider giving her a homemade coupon for doing a chore she usually does or something that is zero cost but will help her out. Like washing her car or fixing a family dinner or vacuuming the house or something.
I’m surprised your dad didn’t ask you a few days ago if you had something for your mother. What do you normally do for her on Mother’s Day?
Do something for her, even if you can’t get her anything.
“I thought about what you said, mom. I’m sorry you feel We take you for granted. We treasure you, but maybe we should pit more effort into showing it.”
Apologize and next time remember to set a calendar reminder in your phone like a week beforehand. Two weeks even
Ask your dad for money. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Its understandable why she’s upset.
Mom’s are taken for granted to a massive extreme. She’s right to be upset, especially if you always remember girlfriend’s or other people’s birthdays.
It also sounds like she has more kids and NOT one got her anything or tried. That’s pretty pathetic. And maybe dad needs to step up to make sure kids are remembering. Although it was nice that he got her something.
You could do extra chores to help her out. Just try and be a good kid to her for all she does
I’m a mum and I have two kids around your age and I would never expect them to get me something without me or their dad being involved
I also have a much older child and I specifically ask her not to get me anything (sometimes she listens and sometimes she doesn’t!)
It’s nice you are worried about how upset your mum is and maybe just having a nice chat with her later and apologising can hopefully smooth things over
Don’t feel too guilty. Maybe use it as an opportunity to show you care in other ways or suggest an activity you can do for her or together
Apologize. Tell her you understand and want to make it up to her. If she is that upset she feels really unappreciated. Offer to make dinner (or something she normally has to do) tomorrow AND DO IT
I didn’t get my mom anything either. I wished her a happy mothers Day at the same time as other women in my life who have kids I heard back from all them besides my own mother.
I am a mom. I appreciate the little things like helping out every now and again. Holidays aren’t the one time of the year to love each other. I’d rather have a day of being together goofing off watching movies at home than presents. I’d never guilt trip my kids. Now husband… haha.
You saw your dad get her something and somehow that equated to “I’m off the hook”? And apparently you have siblings that did the same shit?
Man you guys are inconsiderate.
Your mom has a point. She’s not saying she expected you to buy her a bunch of nonsense, but a hug and an “I love you mom, thank you for all you do” along with offering to do something she wouldn’t expect you to do, goes a long way. Just because your mom is crying doesn’t mean she’s doing it to guilt you. She genuinely feels like shit.
I get why your mom is upset. I would be too. My 11 year old made me a card and simple toast and eggs. A little cold and stuff but I ate every bite because she made an effort to appreciate me.
Honestly, I wouldn’t get roses and a card. They’re so basic and cliche and, like you mention, will pretty much only come across as something you did out of obligation.
What the focus needs to be is on how to make your mother feel appreciated. It’s not really about how you didn’t get her a physical gift and spend money on her. It’s that you forgot. (You’re well old enough to not need your father to micromanage your calendar.) It’s that you assumed your father getting gifts would get you off the hook for doing anything. There are plenty of other options for something appreciative that could have tided you over, such as making pancakes, offering to do all the chores for the day, giving her a shoulder/hand massage, or similar.
The best way to actually start to make things right is to properly apologize. Definitely don’t just say “I’m sorry.” Tell her in full sentences that you made a mistake. On how you forgot and left your father to pick up the slack. Then say how wrong that was and how you feel awful for not properly appreciating her. Promise that you do appreciate her and that you’ll make it up to her until she knows it. Ask her what she wants, what will make her feel better, and listen. See what she says. Follow through on anything you can do, and then also do something of your own volition. Make it a surprise. That way she’s not also having to plan out her own apology present too.
Hon, my 11 year-old made me a song that she sang. It made me cry. You don’t have to spend money. Next year write her a poem, or a song, draw a picture, ask her if she would like to watch her favorite movie with you, request to spend time with her playing a game or building a puzzle, or even just ask if you can spend some time catching up. Your mom knows if you dont have money. As a mom of 4 girls, my oldest is 13; I always love to just hang out with her. Your mom is disappointed but tomorrow is another day. You can do any of these things all year long.
It’s a Hallmark holiday she’ll be fine. Just tell her you love her every day and buy her flowers once in a while.