This happened a month ago so it’s still fresh but it helps to share it and not bottle everything up. A month ago I was engaged to a shy, innocent girl I thought was the love of my life. We had dated a year and a half, only been engaged a month when this happened. She took a trip with a girlfriend to I’ll just say one of the 7 wonders, that she had always wanted to visit. We had made plans to go but I had to cancel because of work so when her friend offered to take her I was relieved and assumed it would either just be them or other girls. When I walked her out to the car with her bag, her friend had two guys she had never met with her. One was driving and she introduced me and my girlfriend and said she had convinced him and his friend to drive them and help pay for the Airbnb. Immediately I know what everyone is going to say but I trusted my gf completely, she doesn’t party or drink excessively and I wasn’t insecure about our relationship. I was wrong.
After they left I had a bad vibe about the whole thing and posted on reddit about it, the comments made me feel a lot worse and I had trouble even falling asleep that night. The next morning I dug through her friends list and found the guy in the back seat who I assumed was her friends bf and messaged him. He read the message about an hour later but never responded, so I messaged again saying if his gf was on a trip with two guys he didn’t know he would want to know if there was anything going on. Again he reads it but doesn’t respond. About three hours later I get a photo from him that at first I think is a mistake or a screenshot of a porno. But then I notice my fiance’s tattoo and her birthmark, it’s her and a guy who’s face isn’t shown, having sex. It’s hard to put into words what that was like but the ground disappearing is close. I just felt like I fell into a black hole and could never get out.
He told me to not say anything until they got back and he would explain what happened. I didn’t say anything until I met with him in person the next night, and he made me delete our messages in front of him then gave me a flash drive with more photos on it, mostly of her on the way there, then of her with the other guy, and then more photos of them on the way back. The look in her eyes in the way back, crushed me. It’s like there’s something missing from her and it made me furious. As soon I got home I confronted her and found out what had happened. They had gotten her drunk, given her something that sounded like molly or MDMA, then the three of them hid her phone and made fun of her for getting married before she had any sexual experience. As a “joke” she said her friend made one of the guys flash her which is how it started.
I selfishly didn’t care that she was coerced or made to feel like she had to do something she repeatedly told them she didn’t want to do, there is also no evidence of this on the drive. There are photos of her smiling, making out with him and laughing. This hurt more than anything and to me made it unforgivable. I kicked her out of our apartment and blocked her on everything, I haven’t spoken to her since.
TL; DR: I have seen photos of my fiance having sex with a guy she met the day before
Comments
I don’t see where you fucked up. If anything, you dodged a bullet.
She went up there with the intention of hooking up with those guys. This was her so called Bachalorlette party. Be thankful the knot wasn’t tied yet. These guys saved you a ton of heartache and expense.
So… this friend of your ex fiancé is a complete psychopath that sounds down right evil. How do I put this… you don’t owe anyone a relationship. Your feelings are valid, you don’t owe anyone a relationship, its not your fault that your ex felt pressured in to having constant sex with some stranger because her friend is a ghislaine maxwell freak show. Who were these men? “SOME DUDES THAT HELPED WITH AIR BNB”. Who ,what, where, how? That sounds like a set up from the start.
You didnt fuck up dude. I had been with an ex for 6 years when I found out they were cheating.
At the time I was paying the bills, making most of our income, and her back was injured so I was doing most of everything. She was supposedly in too much pain to have sex or want to be touched during our last 6 months. Wasn’t in so much pain she couldn’t blow other guys in their cars or let them fuck her though.
Liars and cheats are liars and cheats because of the choices they make when they’re unhappy. It’s a reflection of them not you.
Glad you stood up for yourself and kicked them out.
Edit: I shouldn’t even have to say this but: No I will not dox my ex. Not even just “general location”. Nobody else ask. Anyone who asks will be reported.
What was the guy in the back seat’s intention? He never met you before that but willingly shared these images after you tracked him down and gave you a flash drive?
What a naive young man you are..
Or not. I note that you’ve deleted everything from your profile, like an AI would do that was trying to hide its tracks..
Dodged a bullet my friend….you could have found out 2 years into marriage with kids in the picture.
Dont let her, her family, nor her trash friends guilt or convince you to get back with her. If her family pushes, show them the non porn pics and infer there are pornographic ones.
You’ll likely read a few idiotic comments claiming that the poor innocent doe was drugged and raped, and that you are awful for judging her. In fact, it didn’t take me long to scroll down to a couple of those mouthbreathers. Do yourself a favor and ignore them.
Yes, Molly is highly empathogenic, and it absolutely has the effect of loosening inhibitions and making you touchy-feely. But at no point does it make you out of control, or blacked out. And every individual’s actions are merely their character, amplified.
The whole thing was premeditated. And not by the “rapist men pigs”. She knew exactly what kind of a trip she was going on, just as well as she knew exactly who was going to be in that car, picking her up, way before you did.
Now, please, take this as a lesson. If you are going to trust a woman, at least make sure she has earned your trust. And never, ever, ever trust any human being by default.
She fucked up. You got out before it was too late. Far from a fuck up on your end.
I know it hurts now, but imagine how bad it would’ve been finding out her actual character after marriage, or even worse, after kids.
Do not try to work things out.
You made the right choice with the evidence at hand. She knew and she went with it. There’s no other way about it.
Nah this is so cap. Who uses a flash/hard drive?
No way this is real.
so surely if your gf was drugged and raped and you have direct evidence of this then it’s time to file a police report.
I highly doubt any of this was coerced. I think she saw an opportunity and she took it. Whether she knew prior or after does not even matter. At any rate, better to move on, people are not worth the drama
seems made up
This exact same thing has been posted numerous times this past week
I’m surprised almost no comments here take the side that she might’ve really gotten drugged and raped. Like, that’s not even a possibility to you guys?
I’mma call B.S. on this entire story and downvote it as it’s 100% made up to appeal to people’s sentiments for the sole purpose of karma farming.
Rage bait, try again.
So…
You were supposed to go but backed out last minute because of work, and your finance has a close enough friend for a bachelorette party but you don’t know anything about her friend hosting it or the two guys and one of the guys just happens to be a black ops type from taken that just has a thumb drive of your fiancee cheating on the trip?
Come on man, your writing class deserves better.
Her story sounds like she was raped, maybe tell her to go to the police if her story is true.
If it’s made up to portray innocence you will find out soon enough.
I doubt this is a real story, because frankly it’s absurd that mystery guy would appear with a flash drive of incriminating evidence.
Regardless, if it is real, I don’t see how this is a fuck up. She fucked up. Also she’s lying about being coerced.
Even a flash drive huh
My guy, at least make this a little believable
Your fiance was sexually abused by “friends” and you are angry with her? I’m glad she’s your ex
Lmao. Random guy who doesn’t know you acted like a PI for the whole trip? Super believable. This story is definitely real!!!!!
So…the dude took pictures, videos etc. Saved them on a hard drive and gave you that hard drive like some fbi informant. Bruh you’ve seen to many movies. Try harder to make your stories sound real.
-op how much karma do you want?
-chatgpt: i got you
Take this to one of the writing prompts subs. Nonsense BS story.
I just watched this on White Lotus.
2/10 rage bait
No way this is real.
This exact scenario was posted on another sub like a week or two, like word for word.
Am i missing something here?? You said they drugged her. There’s no way this was consensual.
This is written so strangely
r/thishappened
and also mentioning briefly his gf had signs of trauma and then shrugging it off is next level lmfao dude has never been that kind of high before ig
So you’re engaged with a girl and you are planning to go with her on a trip to one of the 7 wonders, if you are talking original 7 wonders the only still standing is the pyramid of Giza, but even if you mean the “new 7 wonders” none is in the US, and I assume you are in the US because is one of the few country in the world where work making you cancel a big pre planned trip is something that just happens.
So your fiancée friend say she can go with her in place of you. But then you say you assumed she was just them or maybe other girls, didn’t you plan to go with her, shouldn’t you know who was going on the trip if you were supposed to be going too.
Then in this imaginary story, 3 sentences later, you forget you were trying to get to one of the seven wonder and they are now driving to their destination, to one of the seventh wonders and they are paying for the Airbnb or the preplanned trip you had to cancel last minute for work reason ?
This is chatgpt level of story consistency.
And everyone who is upvoting or believing this crap is a bot too
This story was posted a few weeks ago by someone else, nice try though.
Creative writing and karma farming
How many times in different ways is the story going to be told?
They drugged her and berated her and somehow you think this is all on her shoulders? To me it sounds like she couldn’t have consented and she was raped.
Its an ex, you are lucky its over with her but you should move on. Shitty people do shitty things but its not your problem anymore
This is some real bs:
Why would the guys who’s involved in this take these pictures of someone who shouldn’t be doing this and share it with the fiance?
He shares a flash drive? C’mon, are we in 2005?
If what happened is true then she should go to the police, get drug tested and a rape kit and press charges. But I doubt that is what happened and she wouldn’t. You’re better off. Sorry it happened to you (and her if true)
I had a similar experience, I think I may have commented on your other post actually. But you didn’t fuck up at all dude, and get that shit out of your head. Do not guilt trip yourself about this any more than is necessary for you to grieve. I’m sorry, most of all, that you put your faith in someone and that was betrayed. Those people fucked up, your ex, her friend, and those scumbag dudes. You can heal, you will, and your life will be better for it. Their lives will not. People like that will continue to self-sabotage and spiral until they hit rock bottom and develop self-awareness, or don’t and succumb to their vices.
I’m sorry buddy that really does suck, do what you need to do to let yourself heal and don’t let this make you think every girl is bad. You’re gonna be ok
Damn, this is harsh!
They gave her molly or MDMA and then coerced into sex?
That’s not cheating. That’s rape. You dumped your fiance because she was raped on vacation. Jesus dude, I don’t have words for how fucked up that is.
Oh gosh, I had horrible stomach pain reading this both for you and everyone involved. Did you investigate those drugs? Does it really make people out of this dimension? I think I got drugged twice in my life. I thought those things were in movies until like two years ago and those things were 20-30 years ago. Everything clicked suddenly. It was very stupid to be in such an environment. Why do we have to trust everyone. Because nobody warns us of bad guys enough. Even then some things you learn with experience. I think you should tell police what happened and support your ex gf. You can stay ex still.
Jesus, why do you all respond to these clearly invented posts?
I would have dumped her the second I realised 2 stranger dudes were going to be staying at the air bnb. Even if you trust someone that’s just disrespectful imo.
is this a repost? i swear I read this exact post a few weeks ago
She’s lying. Nobody gave her nothing.
What do you mean you fucked up. Are you freaking kidding?
I don’t believe a word of this story, and immediately felt icky when you called her a “shy innocent girl”. No part of this story is how things unfold in the real world.
They were road tripping to Egypt?
You definitly didnt fuck up at all here OP.
If she was the type of person you said she was and this was some mistake there were several chances and actions she should have taken.
After she was pressured, under the influence and had sex with 1 of the guys the morning after her first response should have been to leave and call you letting you know what happened. This actively is an action to sjow respect torwards you amd the relathionship as well as regret for her mistake.
But on the way back she fucked the other guy as well? Yeah thats not a mistake that was forced on her. Thats an active desicion she made.
People that actively unprompted state what they did wrong and beg for forgiveness should be allowed a second chance.
Her friend might have been jelly and planned on ruining the marriage. Bitches be like that.
This isn’t real. But let’s assume it is. This sounds like assault. And it’s scary to me that nobody else seems to be commenting on that.
You didn’t fuck up dude, I don’t know if any one else has said this so I will, It might make you want to paint all girls with the same brush for a while, I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I have ever been in and then the last one was a 7 Year relationship and I thought things were different and they were for a while before she finally decided to cheat it made me super cynical and it was kind of the nail in the coffin to swear off all relationships in the future. Fast forward to now and a relationship that when it ended felt like nothing was worth it and made me suicidal no longer even crosses my mind, time heals everything as cliché as it is to say. I am now in a relationship again and the happiest I have ever been with someone and although I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t cheat on me if she did then its her loss and I know I would eventually fine. All this to say yeah it sucks and your situation is super fucked up but you will get there my dude.
I’m truly sorry you’re experiencing this and I know firsthand it will take much time to make peace with it, especially because it was so unexpected. On the positive side, it happened before you got married. Please see a psychologist if you can. It will put things in some sort of perspective and help you with relationships going forward and the trust you need to find again. It gets better and the hurt goes away but it takes time.
My guy. This really sucks and I’m sorry you feel this way, but alcohol and Molly together is not a good mix. Your fiance was drgged and rped. This is a serious matter. There is no way (if this is real) that she was of sound mind at any point after ingesting this stuff.
Honestly sounds like she has a shit friend and this whole trip was a bad idea from the start
Not a fuck up my dude, it’s a blessing in disguise and you will be thankful for it sooner or later. Bullet was dodged.
I mean you did right by leaving, but you did wrong by disregarding the fact that she may have been r*ped w multiple people involved. That’s fucking horrible. If she lied about it, even worse, but that shit is hard to talk about/be taken seriously/and handle properly. I would have at least gotten her the support she needed before dumping her for some traumatic ass shit, but that’s just me.
I’d say you got off lucky. I found photos and videos of my then wife and her then bf. At least you can ghost her and walk away. I’m stuck, cause we share kids. Although, now that my kids are adults, I don’t have to deal with anymore. Count your blessings and take what you’ve learned into your next relationship. Good luck!
went through something similar when my ex left for nashville. found messages that crushed me… what helped:
voice memos to process feelings instead of bottling up
long walks at weird hours when sleep wouldnt come
focusing on work projects to stay grounded
trust your instincts next time. that bad vibe you felt was real
Well, assuming this is real and not a lot of cap ‘she took a trip with a girlfriend’ is the biggest redflag tbh. Almost always ends with her on her back especially because her ‘friends’ will be telling her to ‘live a little’ before getting hitched, she’ll be drinking nobody will ‘tell on her’ and so she’ll probably live out a fantasy or two ‘while she can’ or whatever convenient things she or her friends will tell her.
Ya can’t make a ho a house wife bro. Sad but true
same thing happened to me, very painful and an experienced that shaped me in good and bad ways. take care of yourself, therapy may really help you, and find a hobby you love to invest time into.
Finding the guy and texting him is super weird dude. It’s like asking to see something bad.
She’s lying to you about what happened. No one made her do shit.
I feel uuuuuu. I been in that exact situation. Doesn’t feel good.
She lying about the drugs my guy.
Sure you trusted two random guys to not harm your girlfriend that’s realistic. Even if you trusted her this friend shows up with two guys that she doesn’t even know and that your girlfriend doesn’t know and that you don’t know you don’t think there could have been a safety issue this does not sound real and he made you delete evidence from his phone and gave you a flash drive yeah sounds real realistic
Innocent?? Did you get engaged to a child…?
So how did you fuck up?